“Maybe they’re all wasted.”
“Stay here with me. I’ll hide you.”
“I have to do something.”
“I want to help you.”
“You can’t.”
“You want me to just let you go alone. Is that brave?”
She took his good hand and they linked fingers. She wondered what it would be like to be him, his troubles so slight, his mother in the house sleeping, his future so unblemished, so wide open like that.
“They’ll look for you.”
“Not all that hard. Another Welfare runaway.”
“You deserve to be found. And what about Robin?”
“Please,” she said, so close to the edge. “They might come see you. Cops. They might come ask you where I am and where I’m going. You’ll think about telling, that you know what’s best.”
“And if I do.”
“You don’t.”
She lay till morning. His mother left early, dressed in workout gear, her Lexus creeping silent from the driveway as Thomas Noble opened the back door.
Duchess went into the Noble house, washed up and ate cereal.
There was a safe, Thomas Noble took fifty dollars and handed it to her. She fought to say no, he stuffed the bills into her hand.
“I’ll pay you back.”
She filled her bag with a couple of cans, beans and soup. She moved fast, saw Shelly was moving faster because the telephone rang and the machine picked it up.
They listened.
“She sounds worried.”
“She has a thousand more like me.”
At the door she saw bags ready to be packed. Thomas Noble would go on vacation in a few days. He would forget her. His life would go on, she smiled at that thought.
Outside the street woke, garbage truck at one end, mailman at the other.
Thomas Noble wheeled out his bicycle and leaned it against the gate. “Take it.”
She went to say no but he placed a hand on her shoulder. “Just take it. You’ll get further before they pick you up.”
“I’ll be a ghost. I already am.”
“Will I see you?”
“Yeah.” They both knew it was a lie, he let it go, leaned forward and kissed her cheek.
She got on the bike, bag over her shoulder, all she had in the world.
“Later, Thomas Noble.”
He raised his good hand as she rode down his driveway and into the street. Then she pedaled hard, not looking back, wind streaking her face as she left the light roads behind and sought out the dark.
An hour and she was on Main Street. She left the bike out front of Jackson Hollis Funeral Parlor and stepped inside, the central air hitting her so hard her skin pricked.
“Duchess,” Magda said with a smile. “Nice to see you again.”
Magda ran the place with her husband, Kurt, a man that shared pallor with his clientele. He must have been with someone because the drape was pulled, the coffins hid.
“I wanted to collect my grandfather’s ashes.”
“I wondered when you’d come. Shelly said she’d bring you one day.”
“She’s in the car.” Duchess nodded toward a Nissan across the street, parked at an angle that blocked the view.
Magda headed out back and returned a minute later with a small urn.
Duchess took it, turned to leave as the drapes parted and Dolly came out, Kurt behind. Duchess slipped out and onto the sidewalk, made it almost to Cherry’s before Dolly caught up with her.
“Duchess.”
Dolly led her inside and sat her down in the corner. She went to the counter and ordered for them.
Dolly had aged, makeup not quite so perfect, hair not curled so neat. She still wore the names, Chanel bag and shoes.
“I’d say it’s nice to see you back here.”
“But.”
Dolly smiled.
“I’m sorry about Bill. I didn’t know.”
“He was ready. Turned out I was not.”
Duchess’s bag lay open, the clothes, the cans. She pulled it closed and zipped it.
Dolly looked at her with sadness.
“What will you do now?” Duchess asked.
“Bury my husband. Beyond that I haven’t given it much thought. There were trips, places we wanted to see. I don’t know if I’ll do it alone. But he had a good life, that’s all we can ask, right?”
“Thomas Noble talks about fair.”
Dolly smiled. “I get that.”
“Fair means someone is in control.”
“I heard about the man. It was on the news. I thought of you, and of Robin. Maybe that’s what Thomas Noble meant. About how someone goes through life causing pain to others, and some people just try and get on. The two always seem to collide.”
Duchess thought of Dolly, her life, her father, impression cast. “Hal said that man was the cancer of our family. His reach is far, to me and Robin. To my brother. I can’t …”
Dolly reached over and closed a hand over hers. “Maybe you don’t choose who you get to be. Maybe it’s predefined. Some of us are outlaws. Maybe we find each other.”
“And maybe it’s all nothing. No one in control but the person willing to go out and take what they want.”
“Do you know about justice, Duchess?”
“Three-Fingered Jack. He rode five hundred miles to avenge the death of his partner, Frank Stiles.”
“But what do you think it means? And I don’t mean defined, I mean what do you think it means for the people that get hurt.”
“An end. I could take it back to breathing. But I know that’s not enough.”
“And for Robin? What do you think he wants?”
“He’s six. He does not know what he wants. He does not know a world beyond the immediate.”
“And you?”
“I know too much.”
The waitress came over with two cocoas and a small cupcake with a single candle in it. She placed them down, winked at Duchess and then returned to the counter.
“Happy birthday, Duchess.”
Duchess stared at the cake. “You didn’t need to—”
“Hush, now. It’s not every day a girl turns fourteen. You need to make a wish.”
When she realized Dolly would not quit she leaned forward, closed her eyes and blew.
Outside they walked the shaded side of the street. When they got to the parlor Duchess picked up the bicycle and wheeled it along.
Dolly stopped beside her truck. “There’s a lot I should say here.”
“But nothing I don’t already know.”
“Will
