One hand comes up to mindlessly stroke my hair. “I’m so fucking sorry, Isa,” he says.
I nod against his chest. “Me, too,” I whisper, almost afraid to break the silence in the room. “But I’m really happy you’re here.”
I spend the morning with Josué and for the first time since the attack, I feel like I can breathe again. He tells me he’s staying all week. Longer, if I need it. He already got it cleared with his parents and Pack, and he’s staying in the guest room in the pool house. There are plenty of empty rooms in the main house for him to stay in, but he seems content to stay in the pool house, so I don’t question it. It’s probably Brian being Brian. I’m surprised he allowed Josué to visit in the first place since he’s from my former Pack, so I’m not about to say anything that might jeopardize that.
I’m happy Josué’s here. I missed him. I hadn’t realized how much until he arrived, but just having him near is like a balm to my frayed nerves. My wolf is equally pleased to have a packmate close by. She trusts him. Knows he’s our friend. And that reassurance keeps my anxiety at bay.
Josué fills me in on the particulars of his stay. He’ll be going to school with me. I don’t know how but Natalia got him cleared as a visiting student. I guess the plan is for him to attend all my classes with me for a week so I won’t have to face school alone.
I still don’t know if going back to school is a good idea. But when I broached the subject of getting my GED, Natalia shot it down and said it wasn’t even worth trying to bring up to my father. I didn’t have to go to Hellbound High if I didn’t want to. They’d allow me to transfer. But the prospect of an all-human school didn’t sound any better than returning to Hellbound High so I resigned myself to my fate.
The following morning when my alarm goes off, I force myself to get out of bed. The heaviness in my chest I’ve had since the attack is lighter. It’s still there, but today, it feels bearable.
I’ve had enough time to wallow in my own misery. More time than I ever gave myself after Mom died. It’ll have to be enough. The pain has receded to a dull ache and all physical signs of the attack have faded. I’m still weak. My reflexes dampened. But unless you’re really looking, it’s not noticeable.
After spending all day yesterday with Josué, I’ve convinced myself I’ll be okay.
We didn’t talk about the assault. He knows what happened and I don’t have any desire to relive the memories just so he can hear the story from my own mouth. Thankfully, he never pushes me. Not that I expected him to. Josué is the strong silent type. He’s the mountain that refuses to move no matter how hard the wind blows. Growing up, he was my rock. The big brother I never had. He gets me. He gets what I need.
Being held, knowing that I was safe in his arms, that the world couldn’t hurt me as long as he was there, gave me the reprieve I needed to pull myself together.
We spent most of the day catching up on random things and eating whatever food we could find in the fridge. Well, he did at least. I still haven’t been eating.
I know Josué noticed. But he didn’t say anything and I’m grateful for it. My ribs stand out in sharp relief beneath my chest. I can count each one while in the shower. It’s not healthy, but I don’t know how to make myself want to eat. Sometimes even the scent of food gets to me and sends me running for the bathroom.
When I go downstairs in the morning, I expect to find Natalia waiting to take us to school, but instead, she hands me a set of keys and gives me a small smile.
“Your father pulled this from the garage for you at my suggestion.” She tilts her head to the set of keys. “This way, if you need to leave, to get away, you can.”
I stare at the keys in my hand. I never thought I’d be so relieved to have access to a car. Before all of this, I would have refused it. I didn’t want Brian’s money. I didn’t need it, and I like earning my own way in life. It’s why I’ve been applying for jobs in the first place. But I can’t afford a car on my own right now. Not even a beater. And this, this would give me an escape if I found myself in a vulnerable position.
“Thank you.”
Her smile widens just a bit. “If you ever want to talk…”
I shake my head.
“Okay, then. I also left you a little something in the front seat. Just in case.” I’m about to ask her what it is when Josué strolls in the back door. “Hey.” He lifts a hand in greeting and stalks toward me. I don’t even think it’s a conscious effort. He’s just so attuned with his beast that he moves like it.
My stomach tightens as he approaches but I do what I did yesterday every time my body reacted to his proximity. I look at his hands, breathe in his scent, and the anxiety subsides.
Outside we find a silver sports car in the driveway. I push a button on the key fob, somewhat surprised when it chirps back. He’s letting me drive a sports car? Why can’t he be like normal dads and just give me a beater?
“Damn,” Josué draws out.
