When they parted at the train station, she had said she did not want to see him again, but he had assumed that was because she saw no future in their relationship. But he had offered her a future. He had offered her everything, but it wasn’t what she wanted. She didn’t want him. Didn’t want to be his wife.
He shook his head and began walking up the stairs. How could he have got it all so wrong? But it seemed he could. He had based so much on one kiss. Too much. He had been prepared to change his life because of one kiss. There was no doubting it was a passionate kiss. Nor could he deny he wanted so much more, but that’s all it was, just a kiss.
He halted halfway up the stairs. Was Nellie Regan right when she said it was just a fumble between a wealthy man and an ex-servant? That it meant nothing? It hadn’t been how he had felt at the time and it wasn’t how he felt now. It had meant something to him, a lot, but perhaps he was wrong about what it meant to her. To her was it just a fumble? Had he foolishly thought it meant so much more? Perhaps he should be grateful to Nellie for setting him straight. She was more sensible than him, she could see that kiss for what it really was.
He dragged his feet up the last few steps to the house. It seemed he was going to have to face facts. He would not be marrying Lady Cecily and he would not be marrying Nellie Regan, two women at opposite ends of the social strata. He had wanted to marry one to advance his family’s position in society and was willing to throw away any chance of advancement to marry the second, but he would be marrying neither. It was almost laughable, but the last thing Dominic felt like doing was laughing.
He walked into the house and handed his hat and gloves to the footman. But one good thing had happened this day and he was determined to focus on that, Amanda’s happiness. If he thought about that, and that alone, he would forget his own problems.
After he had told Lord Westcliffe that he had no objections to him courting his sister, Amanda had burst into the drawing room, having been listening at the door. The love that had sparked between the two of them was a delight to see and their courtship would hopefully be a straightforward one that would end in marriage. Unlike himself, Amanda hadn’t fallen for the wrong person. She hadn’t fallen for someone who came with a raft of complications. Dominic should be amused by the irony of the situation. He had always prided himself on being the serious one in the family, the one who was never driven by passion, but always made sensible, rational decisions. Instead he had allowed his passions to drive his behaviour and fall for the wrong woman, while his sister had made a sensible choice. What a joke that was. What a joke he was.
Once he had given his blessing, the happy couple had rushed off to talk to his parents. They would be staying at the Westcliffe family estate for the rest of the week and thank goodness for that. He did not want to endure questions from his excitable sister. Nor did he want his own gloom to put a damper on her happiness.
He paused in the hallway, pulled back his shoulders and lifted his head high. He would not be the cause of anyone’s misery. He would not ruin his sister’s or anyone else’s happiness. It was time to put this entire episode behind him. Nellie had given her answer. There was nothing more to be done or said on the matter. He resumed walking, increasing his pace as he headed straight to his study. The time for all this self-pity was over. He would throw himself into his work. Running the estate required his full attention and that’s what he would do. He would not be sidetracked by any of this foolishness. After all, hadn’t he disapproved of his parents because they had let their passions rule their heads? Now, for one foolish weak moment, he had done the same. Well, he wouldn’t be making that mistake again. He did indeed have a lot to thank Nellie Regan for. She had mocked the upper classes for their lack of passion and he had been equally critical of her friends at The Hanged Man for putting too much emphasis on immediate pleasure and letting their passions dictate their behaviour.
But it seemed Nellie Regan was the one who was ruled by her head and he was the one who had let passion get in the way of making a sensible decision. That was not a mistake he would be making ever again.
He summoned his land steward so they could discuss the improvements Dominic wanted to make to the estate’s farmlands. Nellie had taught him a valuable lesson, one he thought his parents had taught him, but he had so easily forgotten. His mother had let her heart rule her head and thrown everything away for love and he had almost done the same. Thank goodness for Nellie Regan and her sense and dispassion.
The land steward arrived and Dominic got down to business. It was time to put all thoughts of love aside and to concentrate on more important matters.
Taking afternoon tea with Arabella Huntsbury, the Duchess of Somerfeld, at London’s swanky Claridge’s hotel should have been fun. Nellie knew she should be enjoying herself. But it was hard to pretend you were full of the joys of spring when your heart thought it was deepest, darkest winter.
The Duchess
