That doesn’t mean I don’t look for him every day when I go to lunch. Yes, I’m aware I’m pathetic, but I was getting used to seeing him every day—I liked seeing him every day. I began looking forward to it.
Lesson learned. I’m going to do what I came here to do, and that’s get good grades and graduate.
I step inside the library and find a table in the corner. After grabbing a seat, I pull out my laptop and notebooks. I’ve finally narrowed down my thesis to two topics: childhood diabetes and treatment, or the benefits of home-cooked meals instead of out of a box.
After looking up what books I need, I get up and head to the shelves and start grabbing books. They’re thick and heavy, and by the time I get them back to my table I’ve got a lovely trail of sweat running down my spine.
I stick my earbuds in and get busy taking notes. I’m an hour into it when I feel someone sit down across from me. Looking up I find Chance sitting in the chair, and I don’t want to admit he looks hot because he does. His brown hair is combed all to one side and it looks like the side of his head is shaved with a line just below his hair.
Chance doesn’t say anything at first. He watches me with an unrecognizable look on his face. I’ll be damned if I’m the one who speaks first, that’s for sure. Since he’s not going to speak to me, I’m just going to go back to doing my research.
I turn up my music and start writing out notes. Five minutes later a piece of paper falls onto my notebook. Picking it up, in chicken scratch it says: I’m sorry, I am an asshole.
I sigh as I turn my music off and pull my earbuds out of my ears. “You’re not an asshole. I get it, really, and I appreciate it.”
Chance looks at me with a questioning look. “What do you get?”
“That we’re friends … sort of, and you didn’t want to give me the wrong idea.” I tilt my head to the side. “It’s actually pretty sweet that you’re being considerate of my feelings, but you could’ve just told me instead of pulling the disappearing act.”
I’m not sure where this boldness has come from. I’ve always been quiet and prefer to fade into the background. Maybe motherhood has brought out the bold woman in me.
Chance places his hands on the table and tilts his head back. When he rights it he leans in. “You think I’m not interested, and I just want to be friends?”
I nod. “Yeah, I mean… I just figured, and I’m… You know, not really dating mate—”
He holds up his hand, and I shut my mouth. “What if I was interested? What if I disappeared because when I’m not around you, I’m constantly thinking about you; maybe because I feel something unexplainable when I’m near you. All I know is I don’t date, I never have, and maybe I want to date you.”
My heart pounds, and blood rushes in my ears. Part of me wants to scream yes, but a tiny brunette is the result of my bad decision making… God, that sounds bad. I love my daughter so much it hurts, but I wish the circumstances around her conception would’ve been different; she deserved better, and so did I.
I shake my head. “You don’t want to date me. I’ve seen the girls who get googly eyes whenever you’re around and as you can see”—I motion to myself—“I don’t look anything like them. I’m sure any of them would be happy to date you.”
Sticking my earbuds back in my ears, I hope he gets the hint this conversation is over. In a perfect world I’d love to date a man like Chance. Even though he’s cocky I can tell he’s a good person; otherwise, people—men and women—wouldn’t flock to him.
Suddenly my earbuds are out of my ears, and Chance grabs me by my arm and pulls me up from my chair, leading me back into the bookshelves. He cages me and leans in close. “I want you to listen to me, and listen well. You are fucking gorgeous, and when you smile at me I feel it in my gut.”
I stare up at him, licking my lips. His words cause the butterflies in my gut to start flapping their little wings. He reaches out and strokes my lower lip with his thumb. My legs quake as he leans down, and I wait for his kiss, but we both freeze and look to the side where one of the librarians clears her throat.
“No funny business in here please.” She walks away, and I look up at Chance and start giggling hysterically. He buries his face in my neck and laughs against my skin, causing goose bumps to pop up all over.
Chance pulls back and smiles down at me. “Go out with me please. We can keep it really casual if that makes you more comfortable.”
My mom did want me to have the college experience and meet cute boys. One date won’t hurt anything. Maybe then he’ll realize he could do better. “Okay, one date.”
His smile is wide, showing off perfect straight white teeth. “Yeah?”
I nod. “This is probably a bad idea, but yes, I’ll go on a date with you.” I try to slide past him, but he stops me. “What?” He softly grabs my chin, tipping my head back.
Chance leans down, kissing my forehead. “I’ll meet you for lunch tomorrow, and we’ll plan our date.”
In an instant he’s gone, and I’m finally able to breathe. I make my way back to my seat and sit. “What the heck?”
