She tilted her head to the side and appeared to consider the statement. “About what?”
“When you told Ed you were my girlfriend.”
“Oh, that. Yeah, I was teasing.”
Disappointment sucked the air out of my lungs, but I reminded myself not to have expectations. Honestly, what had I been thinking? That she was suddenly willing to put aside whatever issues held her back? No, she wasn’t ready for that yet.
“I knew you were joking, but I guess I was hoping you meant it.”
She looked at me then. Really looked at me as trying to gauge where I was coming from. “Would it make you happy if I said I wanted to be with you?”
“Yes.” There was no hesitation in my voice at all.
She stared at me for a long moment, her lips curling up on one side in a lopsided grin, endearing and sweet. “I do, you know…want to be with you.”
Boom. My heart crashed against my ribs and took a few seconds to even out. I cocked an eyebrow, not wanting to get too excited until I was sure of her sincerity. “But?”
“No buts.”
“There’s always a but somewhere.”
“Not this time.” She glanced at the floor and let out a breath. “My hesitation earlier when I told you we should just be friends… I was scared. There are a few things I haven’t shared… It will affect our future if we have one—”
“All of that can wait.” I moved closer and took both of her hands in mine, wanting her to understand there was nothing she could say that would change my mind about her. Whatever concerns she had…they didn’t matter. There was only one thing I would take issue with, and that was having children, but I didn’t get the sense that she was opposed to that. “I don’t need to know everything upfront, Jaz. Let’s figure it out as we go. It’ll be like unwrapping a new present each and every day.”
She smiled sadly. “Some of it won’t feel like a gift.”
I squeezed her hands and then lifted one, kissing her knuckles. “I’ll be the judge of that.”
“No smooching while I’m away,” Ed practically growled as he carried a tray into the room and set it down on the coffee table. “I don’t bake like my Anne did, but these store-bought snickerdoodles are something else.” He cupped one side of his mouth and leaned in conspiratorially. “Anne was a good cook, but I think these are even better.” He said it in a confidential tone as if afraid she might walk around the corner any minute and scold him for preferring someone else’s cookies.
Jazmin took a snickerdoodle and bit into it. “Yum. You weren’t kidding. These are delicious.”
I picked up several and began munching right away. After that, Ed took out an old record player and played several vintage albums with Christmas music while we finished decorating the tree. We swayed to the sounds of Kay Starr, Peggy Lee, and Eartha Kitt, not that I knew who any of those women were, but Ed gave us a full history of each singer on those albums.
A man sang the next song, and Ed smiled, a nostalgic expression taking hold of his features. “This is Brook Benton singing, This Time of the Year. Anne and I danced to it every year after we put up the tree.” He glanced at us. “Maybe the two of you will carry out the tradition.”
I walked over to Jazmin and held out a hand. “Will you do me the honor?”
She took my hand, and I pulled her close, wrapping my arm around her waist. She smelled like citrus and vanilla and snickerdoodles all wrapped into one. I held her tightly as we swayed to the music cheek-to-cheek, lost in the moment, everything else fading away. Our eyes met and something exchanged between us, an understanding that we both cared deeply for the other even if we had encountered some challenges. She sighed, and her body melted into mine. I held her close, not ever wanting to let go. Swallowing, I lightly kissed her on the forehead and brought my mouth to her ear. “You have no idea what you’re doing to me,” I said quietly enough that Ed couldn’t hear. When the song ended, I stepped back reluctantly, and Ed clapped.
“Well done. You both made my day.”
We stayed another hour after that, sitting on the couch while he reminisced about the old days. He even prepared mugs of hot cocoa for us with those tiny little marshmallows, and if my grandparents were still alive, they would have been proud to call him a friend. He shared that his sons were flying out to see him at Christmas, and I was glad he wouldn’t be alone.
Jazmin and I walked out to my car, and I opened the door for her. She slid in and I shut the door. I got in on my side and started the engine. It was dark outside and time for dinner.
“You hungry?” I asked.
“Not really. The hot cocoa and cookies filled me up.”
“I guess I should take you to Hunter’s then.”
She thought about that for a moment and then straightened. “But I could eat.” She grinned, and it was like the sun poking through the clouds on a gloomy day.
My spirits instantly lifted. “Great, because I know this quiet little restaurant not far from here, and I’m not ready to let you go yet.”
“Sounds perfect.”
Chapter 6
Jazmin
Clay and I left Ed Green’s house and went to a local restaurant in Homer. I’d texted my family to let them know where we were, and no one seemed
