He hadn’t changed much since I’d seen him last. His dark brown hair, thick and healthy-looking, had grown a little longer, almost touching his shoulders, but that was the extent of the changes. His dense beard was just as bushy as I remembered, and those eyes… I could get lost in those warm brown eyes. They were kind and sensitive despite his rough-around-the-edges appearance, and every time I met his gaze, a part of me felt like I was a goner.
“Clay… What are you doing here?”
He stepped forward and slid into the chair situated on the other side of my desk. “Mind if I sit down?”
My heart picked up a beat as the scent of his cologne grew stronger. He’d flown out three months ago for a visit, and he’d had the same effect on me back then. I’d told myself it didn’t mean anything, but there was something about his presence that threw me completely off balance. I was inexplicably drawn to him even as I tried to put the brakes on those feelings.
“Wait…you’re not my client. You can’t be.”
He folded his arms across his chest. “I am for the next hour.” He held up a hand. “Don’t worry. I’ll pay whatever you charge, but I had to see you.” There was a look of determination on his face that said he wasn’t going anywhere. His eyes fell on the stain on my blouse and flickered with amusement. “Tough morning?”
“You could say that.” I sighed and pressed my lips together. This day was edging further and further out of my control. “As far as charging you, don’t be ridiculous. I wouldn’t do that, but you should have called first.”
“If I had, would you have seen me?”
I winced and glanced away. “Probably not.”
If he’d called, I would have asked him not to come. The last time we’d spoken on the phone, I made it clear I enjoyed talking to him, but we weren’t a good match. First of all, he was not the type of man I usually dated, and second, he lived in Alaska in a tiny little off-the-grid cabin. That sort of lifestyle had been fun for a vacation when Sabrina and I stayed with Hunter, but there was no way I could do that indefinitely. Sabrina was a trooper, but then again, she was head over heels for Hunter and would live in a cardboard box if he asked her to. I was a decade older and my days of roughing it were over, at least for the long-term.
He scratched the side of his face and looked me straight in the eye. “The way you left things… I guess I was confused. Needed clarification.”
“I’m not sure why you’re confused. I explained that long-distance relationships rarely work out. I’ve seen enough people give it a go, and I don’t want to subject myself to the frustrations and difficulties that follow.”
“That’s a cop-out. We both know all relationships take work. You’re either willing to invest or you’re not.”
I shrugged. “I’m sorry, but I’m not.”
Pain flashed in his eyes, but it was quickly replaced with resolve. He drew in a deep breath and let it out. “I thought we had something.”
“We did. We definitely did. There was a spark. I won’t deny it, but we’re not right for each other.”
A crease formed between his brows. He rested his arms on my desk and leaned forward. “Why? Why aren’t we right for each other?”
His gaze was so intense I almost forgot to breathe. “I…I thought we discussed that already.”
“No, we didn’t. If you don’t want to be with me, fine, but at least give me the closure I need.” The corners of his lips lifted confidently, and my stomach flipped at the motion. “See? I can use a therapeutic term once in a while.”
I glanced away, breaking the spell he had over me. “I’m sorry. I should have realized my explanation wasn’t sufficient.”
He leaned in further and lowered his voice. “Maybe this makes me a big sap, but I can’t get you off my mind no matter how hard I try.” He shook his head. “You’ll have to give me a better answer.”
“Fine.” I cleared my throat and sought the right words to explain this. “You’re this really tough guy and I’m…” I pursed my lips together and leaned back. “I’m not rich by any means, but I’m used to a more refined regimen. Honestly, I just don’t think our lifestyle choices mesh well.”
Clay smiled like he knew something I didn’t. “You don’t know me well enough to come to that conclusion.”
“We’ve known each other for five months. We may not have been able to see each other on a regular basis, but we’ve talked on the phone plenty of times.”
“Don’t give up on me just yet.” He reached across the table and took my hand in his. It was warm and calloused and his grip was strong. “There’s a lot about me you don’t know.”
I opened my mouth, intending to tell him to back off, but the word lodged itself in my throat.
“There it is!” He slouched lazily in his seat, a look of victory on his face. “It was a microexpression, but I saw it. You’re willing to give me another chance. You’re going to have dinner with me tonight.”
Despite my irritation that he wasn’t taking no for an answer, I smiled. It was so much easier to push him away