My mind immediately jumped to the Robert situation, and I groaned. Troy was right. He was starting to become a little too controlling. I knew he meant well, but he’d stepped over the line last night when he called to say I was out too late. He was insecure about Troy, but that was no excuse, and I needed to let him know I didn’t want him to track my phone anymore. I just had to figure out a way to do it without offending him.
I got out of bed and made myself a cup of coffee and then cooked a quick breakfast of toast and bacon. As I sat at the table and ate, I contemplated how to handle Robert. The biggest issue right now was his paying for my bodyguard services.
Lord, what do I do? I don’t have the money to pay for this on my own.
As soon as I’d lifted the prayer up to the Lord, I knew what had to be done. I had to find a way to pay or discontinue services altogether. Nothing serious had happened since Troy started guarding me, which meant Robert and I had probably overreacted. It was nice having the extra security, but it didn’t seem like I needed it anymore. The police still hadn’t found the guy who attacked me in the parking lot after the concert, and he seemed to have disappeared. At least he hadn’t tried to hurt me again.
The call I’d received from the man who’d said, ‘You don’t have a prayer,’ was concerning. Just thinking about it sent a wave of anxiety through me. Made me nauseous and brought back all sorts of memories. He hadn’t called again, but it was too coincidental that the guy who killed Daniel said the same thing that night. That right there made me want to hold on to Troy’s services a little longer.
Ugh. This was an impossible situation. Get rid of my bodyguard and not be indebted to Robert, or keep Troy and feel like I owed my friend. I shouldn’t have accepted his help in the first place. His friendship meant a lot to me, but helping me out financially gave him a level of control I wasn’t comfortable with.
I didn’t have a job scheduled for today, so I took care of things I’d neglected lately such as going through unopened mail. I cleaned my house from top to bottom, and when I came to the guest room where all of Daniel’s clothing hung in the closet, I let out a heavy sigh.
It was time to let his clothes go.
I didn’t know why I felt ready. I just did. Maybe it had to do with Troy coming into my life. Even if nothing ever took place between us, I would always be grateful for the impact he’d had on me. He made me want to start over. To give love a chance again.
If a relationship wasn’t possible with him, maybe it would happen with someone else one day. The thought gave me hope and made me sad at the same time. I really wanted more with Troy, not some future guy, and I hadn’t had feelings like this since Daniel. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to feel this way about another man.
A deep sorrow fell over me as I contemplated parting with Daniel’s belongings, but there was a strong sense of peace as well. I didn’t need to get rid of everything. I would keep a few things to remember him by; his journal would stay, for sure. But if I didn’t follow through on this, I would always be stuck in the past, and Daniel wouldn’t have wanted that for me. He had a special place in my heart, and I looked forward to seeing him again in heaven one day.
But God had kept me alive, and it was time to live my life in the here and now, not just go through the motions but really embrace the present.
I began the process of taking the clothes out of the closet, folding them, and putting them in a couple of boxes I’d found. Once I finished, I put the boxes by the entryway so I’d remember to take them to a local thrift shop.
Looking at the empty closet brought on feelings of loneliness, but I had the strongest sense that I was doing the right thing. Now that I’d dealt with the clothes, there was one last issue. My ring. I didn’t feel completely ready to take it off, but I decided to try it on a trial basis. I would remove it for a few days and see how that went, and if I felt like it was too hard, I could always put it back on. With that resolved, I slipped it off and placed it in a jewelry box on top of my chest of drawers.
Later that evening, I got a call from my agent, Ava Damcot. “Kayla, how are you doing?” She didn’t wait for me to reply but continued talking. “I wanted to let you know about an audition tomorrow that I think you’d be perfect for.” There was excitement in her voice, and my spirits instantly lifted.
“Really? What—”
“It’s not what we talked about exactly, but it could open a lot of doors for you.”
“Okay… What is it?”
“There’s a new reality show starting up called Country Star, and they need a host.”
My heart sank to my stomach and disappointment flooded through me. There had been so much excitement in her voice that I’d thought I’d have another opportunity to open for another singer at a concert. Everything I had been doing had been geared in that direction, and I wanted to get big enough to draw a crowd on my own one day.
She was right, this definitely wasn’t what we had talked
