And then an embarrassing realization crossed my mind. What if he thought I was picking out my wedding dress or something? Getting ultra-serious. Planning our engagement. Sure, I’d considered it briefly, but he didn’t need to know that.
“Oh! You don’t have to worry. I’m not...” I trailed off and my face heated to a boiling point. I couldn’t say “wedding dress” or anything wedding related around a man I wasn’t even dating, lest he thought I had designs on him. I had to stop before this got worse. Closing my eyes, I crossed my fingers, hoping the moment would pass. He was so quiet, I opened my eyes and found him watching me with an amused grin on his face.
“You’re not…what?”
I waved a hand. “Forget it. It’s not important.”
“Just say what you were thinking. I want to know.”
“It’s not that interesting.”
“Let me be the judge of that.”
“No, it’s okay. It doesn’t matter.”
“It does. What were you about to—”
“Fine. I was going to tell you not to worry. I’m not picking out my wedding dress.”
He took a second to absorb my words. “But you said if I could read your mind, I’d blush. What were those thoughts?”
Now I really wanted to die. He was pushing me into a corner. “I just think you’re a very attractive man, okay? That’s all you need to know.”
His smile kicked up a few notches. “The things that come out of your mouth when you’re embarrassed…” He chuckled. “I’m enjoying this side of you.”
His eyes searched my face as if looking for something there. I was so caught up in his brown eyes that I sounded almost breathless when I spoke. “You’re getting a good laugh out of seeing me act foolishly, aren’t you?”
“No.” He ran a hand along the back of his neck, still grinning from ear-to-ear. “Every time I see a new side of you, I’m in awe. Must mean I really like you, Kayla Keller.”
His statement washed over me like a caress. Like a warm bath on a cold night or a flower in full bloom on a bright spring day. My head felt fuzzy as I allowed myself to get caught up in his gaze, his brown eyes beautiful and intense. “You said that once before.”
He stepped closer until we were just inches apart. Leaning down, his breath fanned over my face, sending goosebumps over the back of my neck. He eyed my lips as if he were about to come in for the kill. Like I was his prey. My pulse sped up and every nerve in my body snapped to attention. I wanted him to kiss me. Wanted it so badly.
He leaned down even further, lining his lips up with mine, yet still not touching me. He stayed there for several long moments, neither of us moving a muscle, almost as if we were afraid to breathe, to do anything that might spook the other person.
Letting out a contented sigh, I waited for the kiss to happen.
He stepped back, appearing bewildered. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…” He ran a hand through his hair, and it was his turn to look mortified. “I overstepped.”
“No, I wanted you to kiss me.”
He seemed frustrated, his fist clenching and unclenching as if he were struggling with something, an inner conflict he wasn’t sure how to handle. “I can’t do this… Not now.” He put his hands on either side of his head and let a loud grunt.
“Oh. I thought… Never mind what I thought.” The high I’d felt crashed to the ground in a heap of ashes.
For whatever reason, he didn’t want to follow through with kissing me. Maybe he’d gotten caught up in the moment and was now regretting it. He was a good guy, but he didn’t feel the same way and was trying not to mislead me. I had to get that through my thick skull and stop encouraging something that wasn’t there.
“Give me a minute,” he said. “I’ll be right as rain in a bit.” And then he stormed out of the room like a thundercloud followed after him.
I sunk to the floor, my knees weak and unsteady, my heart splintering to pieces. Leaning forward, I rested my head in my hands and allowed a few tears to slip down my cheeks. Lord, this is so hard. Help me to get through this.
Troy returned fifteen minutes later appearing much more relaxed, a smile on his face and bounce in his step making it appear as if all was right in the world again.
Not for me. Definitely not for me. But at least he was in better spirits.
He headed straight for me, his stride determined, his attention focused like a laser beam. “Sorry about earlier. Things got out of hand—”
“It’s okay, you don’t have to explain.” I flinched, not wanting to hear his stream of thought, his reasoning as to why he didn’t kiss me. It would hurt too much, and I needed to stop thinking about it, anyway. Better to move on with the self-defense moves.
“Kayla, please, just listen to me.” He rested his hands on my shoulders, and then slowly, they slid down my arms until they reached my hands. He laced our fingers together and waited until I met his gaze.
The contact was reassuring, but my heart was practically beating out of my chest. “I’m listening.”
“I just called Will.”
“Okay…”
“Told him about what almost happened between us a few minutes ago.”
“You told him what exactly?”
One corner of his mouth tipped up in a lopsided grin. “That I nearly kissed you. I nearly lost control.” There was laughter in his voice, but his eyes were so serious I felt the intensity of them all the way down to my toes.
