Truth. “All right. I’ve got this. Hold on.”
My energy’s song hummed and reverberated inside me, circling my heart and threading into my limbs. My aura warmed me as I imagined its golden hue sparkling. I pushed the edges of my aura past me and into the ground below my boots. I tried to focus on the song as well. The moment I did, gentle and encouraging whispers hurried through my mind. This was what had happened when I’d portalled us here, when I’d tuned into my magic and seen Mom and heard Aunt Viv, when the woman Lucus had accidentally killed, Lucilla, had spoken inside my mind, forgiving him.
I couldn’t pick up clear words, but the voices wove together to create the song of my magic, my energy, my aura. It was all one.
The Binder’s voice interrupted the sounds. “Find a line of sound or a rhythm and take just that one thread down to the flow of energy in the earth, along the ley lines.”
Nodding, I worked on it, straining, head aching, attempting to mentally focus on one part of the words that were also a sort of music. One soft melody, drifting between the others, caught my attention. I blocked out the rest of the sound and urged that one to grow louder. My aura warmed, heating me from head to toe. Lucus whispered something, but I didn’t listen, and instead I shut my eyes to focus. I imagined the thread of sound flowing into the ground, but when I sensed the riverlike rippling of the ley line deep in the earth, a wall of sorts sprang up and blocked the thread of energy from entering the ley line’s territory.
Defeated, I opened my eyes. “Failure. Something is blocking the ley lines.”
“No, you are blocking yourself from the ley lines,” the Binder said.
“How do I get through if I don’t even understand how I’m doing it?”
“What are you afraid of?”
I snorted. “Right now? Let’s see. I can probably narrow it down to one million things.”
“You’re the toughest on yourself,” Hekla said. “I guarantee this barrier in your head and energy or whatever is going on has to do with the fact that you can’t control this new magic. You’re afraid of what it might mean if you get the hang of it and this becomes your new normal.”
Lucus smiled at her. “That does seem to fit what I’ve come to know about our Coren.” He came close and brushed my arm with his warm hand, and a feeling like sparks scattered where his fingers touched my bare forearm. His green eyes narrowed. “How do you feel when you embrace who you truly are, when you sense your magic and lock onto its essence?”
When I did, the voices of my loved ones flowed through my mind, and the sensations of love and encouragement followed their words. But the power felt so foreign. How could I be a mage? “It’s a great feeling, but it’s still frightening, honestly. I didn’t grow up flying around or sparkling with magic like you. If I make a wrong move, I might hurt myself or any one of you.”
“Sounds like we found our barrier,” the Binder said before turning to Nora. “What do you suggest?”
“I’m too shocked that you are out here doing this, Binder, to think of anything else.”
The Binder glanced at the far side of the henge like he thought the fae might arrive any second. “Yes, I still have one piece of soul left for them to tear apart. We are undone. I might as well expose my final spark of hope and end the whole hell of my life quickly rather than bother hanging on. Listen, Coren, it doesn’t matter if you accidentally hurt anyone here. First, none of us would blame you. I don’t know any of your people, but they seem incredibly loyal to you. Even the fae lord.” His gaze cut to the side toward Lucus, then he regarded me with a softer look. “Just break through. We don’t have time. You’re killing them all wasting time worrying about killing them.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Such a chipper fella. All right, fine. I’ll try again.”
Separating the threads of sound and energy came easier this time, and I blasted that golden line of power deep into the earth, searching for the rushing ley line. The barrier hit me like I’d sped my bike right into a concrete divider on the interstate. My breath went out of me, but I kept pressing, my heart drumming against my ribs and my palms tingling with power. Shocks of magic pinched my fingertips and the center of my forehead as I pushed against the wall of my own making. There was no going back to the old days of simple baking and running a business. I was a mage, and I had to add that to my life. I didn’t have to lose the old stuff though. If I got a handle on this magic of mine, I would layer all this supernatural shit into my fantastic days.
I might have been my greatest enemy, but that only meant I was empowered to create the peace I so longed for.
The barrier trembled as sweat poured down my face. Jagged lines of light flashed across my eyes, an intense amethyst that spoke of the power running through me. If I fell now, if I lost this fight with myself, my magic would stop my heart. I knew it as well as I knew how long to proof dough. My body shook. My pulse grew erratic as I slammed my aura into the barrier again and again and again. It was win or die, and I wasn’t about to give up.
Chapter 12
With a crack that was either my skull or my magic or maybe even both, the barrier exploded, and my thread of golden power dove into the ley
