Edward comes to sit on the side of the bed, facing me, and I can’t look at him. One hand is pressed high against my chest, holding the covers in place, but the other rests on the bed sheet. It’s this hand that he reaches for, taking hold of me and tracing a circle on the back of my hand with his thumb.
“I’m glad you told me,” he says, quietly. There’s intimacy in the way he talks to me, making me look up in spite of myself and meet his gaze. “It’s not something that should be taken lightly. Your first time is important. You’ll remember it for the rest of your life – and you want to have good memories, not bad ones.”
I want to speak, to tell him that I would have made good memories with him. That nothing about him could possibly be bad. But I feel like my heart is breaking, because this speech is going to be about why he has to leave and never see me again, and I don’t think I can open my mouth to speak without crying in front of him.
“It doesn’t put me off,” Edward says, his second hand joining the other, both of them sandwiching mine with a comforting touch. “I still want you. God, it’s hard to hold myself back, Casey. But your first time should be special.”
I frown, totally confused. I don’t know if I understand any of this. Did he just say that he’s actually fine with it? But then why does it still sound like he isn’t going to have sex with me? “What?” I ask, my voice coming out thick with emotion.
“I want your first time to be special,” he says. “I want there to be a build-up. A whole experience. I want you to know how special you are, and to feel it. I’m going to do that for you. But not tonight. We need time. I want tomorrow to be your special day.”
I blink. So… he means… he still wants me after all?
“Tomorrow,” I repeat, half-question, half-wonderment, the only thing I can manage to make my lips murmur.
“If you’ll have me,” Edward says, leaning forward to ghost his hand across the side of my cheek.
My eyes nearly pop out of my head. If I’ll have him? Is he crazy?
“Yes,” I tell him, but then I make a hopeless gesture towards my own body. Aside from the sheets, I’m still topless, and there’s still an unresolved fire in the bottom of my belly, stoked before my confession. “But why not tonight?”
Edward gives me a knowing smile. “I know you’re eager for this,” he says. “I won’t leave you frustrated. We can still do other things, even if I don’t take your virginity just yet.”
“What do you mean?”
Edward only smiles. “Do you trust me?”
I don’t need to think about it. I do – inherently, even if I don’t know why.
“Yes,” I whisper.
Edward grins and leans in to kiss me. “Then here’s a little taste of tomorrow,” he says, and gently coaxes the covers down away from my chest.
He goes right back to where we were, as if nothing had happened. His hand on my breast, twisting my nipple in that way that seems to send electric sparks through me, then his mouth on the other side, his other hand tracing its way down to my waistband. His fingers slip inside the fabric, brushing across my skin, in a place no one else has ever touched me – making me shudder in anticipation and need and maybe a little bit of fear. I don’t know what to expect, but I do trust him like I said, and I let him explore me with his hands.
Edward shifts his weight, using both of his hands now to slowly push the fabric of my jeans down over my hips, my panties going with them. He moves to my feet to pull everything off me, and I’m naked in front of him, not a single scrap of clothing left to cover me up. I feel vulnerable but also excited – because I know I’ve chosen the right man to see me, and I only see admiration and adoration in his eyes as they sweep across my body.
Even so, I’m not prepared for what happens next. Edward moves forward between my legs, spreading them wide at the hips until I’m completely exposed to him. Cool air hits me there, alerting me to the fact that I’m already wet with the excitement, and I want to blush and squirm away and close my legs. But Edward looks at me with heavily lidded eyes and says one thing, one thing that pushes all of my insecurities aside.
“Beautiful.”
I can’t resist the way he looks at me, the way the word falls off his lips. I don’t want to cover myself up now – I want him to see. I want him to tell me again how beautiful I am. I want to feel like it’s true, the way he keeps making me feel that way over and over again, like no one else ever has.
And when he dips his head down low and I feel the touch of his tongue on my sex, I can only gasp in surprise and in pleasure at the way his rough tongue scrapes along all of my delicate nerve endings, setting them completely on fire.
My hands clutch into fists in the sheet on either side of me, trying to hold on to something in the face of how strong and powerful the sensations are. I can barely breathe or think or know anything, only that Edward’s tongue is lapping at my most sensitive nerves, swirling in circles or long licks up and down, setting me alight in all
