I get out reluctantly, but turn in surprise to see Edward paying the taxi driver. Isn’t he going home? Is he staying here too? Or does he – does he want to stay with me…?
“I’ll walk you to your door,” Edward says, offering me his arm again. “I’m a little old-fashioned, I’m afraid. I like making sure my date gets home safe.”
Date? Butterflies flutter in my stomach. I guess it was a dinner date, but neither of us said anything about it until now. I still can’t really tell if it really was a date – or whether he’s just saying that to be nice, trying to make his friend’s daughter feel good.
I can’t find my tongue as we head to the elevator and then go up five floors, before walking down the corridor to my door. We linger outside as I insert my keycard and unlock it, nudging it open with my hip.
“Well, this is me,” I say at last. It sounds like something a girl would say in a movie. I’m not sure exactly where it came from, but at least I didn’t sound like a total idiot.
“Alright. Have a good sleep. And don’t forget – bright and early in the morning.”
I nod in agreement. Suddenly my throat is dry, and my voice has forgotten how to speak. I think I want to invite him inside. I think I want him in my hotel room – maybe even going all the way. But it’s too forward to say anything, isn’t it?
And I’m sure he would say no. He probably sees me as a kid still. And even if he did agree to come inside, I have no experience with this kind of thing. I’d come off like a freak and probably scare him off for good, and that would mean missing out on tomorrow.
I don’t want that to happen.
“I’m looking forward to it,” I manage to say, which is the truth and hopefully not too dorky. I don’t know if he knows that I want him – that I can’t stop looking at him and thinking about him. I hope he can’t tell, because I must come off like a lovesick teenager right now.
Edward leans towards me, and for a magical moment I think he’s going to kiss me – and I freeze in panic, not knowing what to do – but then his face moves past mine and his lips land on my cheek, a friendly gesture or the kind of thing a family friend would do, and he smiles at me and is gone.
I turn to watch him after a moment, but all I see is his form vanishing through the doors of the elevator. I step inside my room instead, feeling all kinds of things – excitement, satisfaction from the food, but most of all an electric kind of longing for him.
I wish for a moment that I had said something. Invited him in for a coffee, or whatever it is that people say in order to keep the night alive just a little bit longer. But I only have packets of coffee from the complimentary hotel service, not exactly a gourmet treat. And I don’t know what I would have said or done next. Maybe it’s for the best that I didn’t say a word.
It’s already late, so I get ready for bed and change into my nightgown, then snuggle into the big puffy duvet the hotel has, resting my head on a pile of pillows. Sleeping in a hotel alone means you get to use all of the pillows just for yourself, and I’m definitely enjoying them. But that makes me think about who I might be sharing these pillows with, and before I know it my thoughts are filled with Edward again, and the mental image of him lying beside me.
That thought sends a shudder through my whole body. Him here beside me… shirtless, maybe even naked under the sheets, and me the same. Before I can really think about what I’m doing, my hand travels under the sheets and under the hem of my nightgown, and I start to touch myself, lost in the fantasy of Edward.
I picture him kissing me, his body over mine as he rolls over me, the covers ripped away and my body totally exposed under him. He would touch my breasts, touch me between my legs just like I’m doing now – I try to pretend it’s his hand instead of mine – and then he would…
And then he would – what? The moment fizzles away and I’m left frustrated and disappointed, knowing that I can’t finish the fantasy. As much as I would like to know how it feels – and as much as I’m turned on at the very thought of it happening – I’m a virgin. I don’t know what it feels like to have sex. I don’t have a real reference point for that. It might be the most amazing feeling in the world – at least, that’s the impression I’ve been given – but I have no idea.
I burrow deeper into the covers and sigh, closing my eyes to sleep. Tomorrow still holds a lot of promise, even if today didn’t go quite the way I would have liked it to. I can only hope that Edward might start seeing me as a real woman – not just the little girl he associates me with from before. Maybe that way, there might be some small hope that he could one day be in my bed for real – though I can’t say I’m optimistic.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Edward
I’m determined. Casey will be mine. Nothing is going to stop me from achieving that goal – and by tonight, I’ll have her in my arms.
It took only a bit of back and forth with my assistant to get everything booked and into place. Now
