The most confounding thing about all of it was that she wasn’t even my usual type. She was so innocent. So soft. Her kindness and her determination to help me and try to ease my pain was something I wasn’t used to. No one showed concern for me. Not that I wanted anyone to. I couldn’t afford to be that openly intimate with anyone. It was just that I had no idea how to handle it. People didn’t give a fuck about me. Hell, most didn’t really consider me human. More like a stone-cold robot, or the devil, himself, above it all.
I could only hope that last night had put her off pushing it any further. The last thing she needed was to get mixed up with the likes of me.
I was a dangerous man. A twisted man.
It was who I’d always be.
That much had been made clear to me after what I’d dealt out yesterday to those enforcers.
Some things couldn’t be taken back. Especially the things I’d done, the atrocities I’d committed.
Once that depth of darkness crept into your soul, no amount of redeeming light could get it out.
I was a lost cause.
Fuck.
I switched off the shower and pushed open the frosted glass door that was obscured even more than usual with a thick veil of condensation from my overly-hot shower.
I ran my fingers through my hair, shaking out the excess water, before snatching a black cotton towel off the towel rail. I secured it around my waist and then unlocked the bathroom door.
Locking the bathroom door when I lived alone seemed a little paranoid. But, given my previous profession, and with all the enemies at my back, it was simply good sense.
Opening the door, I stepped out into the hallway.
The second I turned, I collided hard with another body.
A soft, female gasp activated an automatic protective response in me and I threw out my hands.
They found soft, heated skin.
I looked down to see that I was grasping Ashley’s arms. Judging by the positioning of her body, I’d just managed to stop her from falling back.
“Thanks,” she said, her voice breathy and unsteady. “I probably would’ve landed on my ass.”
The corner of my mouth quirked into a nervous smile. Nervous, because my reaction to touching her didn’t sit well with me. While my head knew that wanting her was off the table, my body clearly hadn’t gotten that message.
“Sorry,” I said, hastily releasing her arms and stepping to the side so there was a good distance between us. “I wasn’t paying attention.” I wasn’t used to having to. I didn’t entertain guests in my home.
I watched her mouth open and I knew she was speaking to me, but my focus was drawn elsewhere.
To the tiny lavender slip she was wearing.
The hem rested high on her silky thighs, too high to escape my notice. The material was so thin that I could make out her little nipples pushing against it, along with the outline of her full, perky breasts. When I’d picked her clothes up for her, the thing hadn’t looked that… appetizing. But on her delectable body, all bets were off.
I quickly drew my eyes away, conflicted, because the way her breasts were rising and falling from her every breath was enthralling beyond belief and a part of me didn’t ever want to look away. But the saner, more logical part of me new better than that.
The struggle worsened when I caught her eyes sweeping over me. A blush painted her cheeks. She was checking me out.
I glanced down at myself and quickly got a reminder that I was standing in front of her wet and half-naked, just a thin towel covering my lower body.
I took another step back and gestured to the bathroom. “Something wrong with the one in your room?”
“It only has a bath, not a shower. I’m not really the bath type.”
“Right. I see. Go right ahead.”
“Thanks.”
She moved past me, only to stop just before she entered the bathroom. “Finn? About last night…”
I held up my hand. “Forget it. It was a regrettable moment of weakness.”
“Regrettable?” she uttered in a small voice.
“Yeah. Let’s just put it behind us and start fresh.”
The look on her face cut right through me. Her stunning gray eyes swept over me, studying me with confusion for several moments.
“Ashley?” I called. “All right? Got it?”
“Whatever,” she muttered, before pushing her way into the bathroom, then slamming the door so hard behind her that I thought it was going to tear from its hinges.
Dammit.
The last thing I wanted was her hurting because of me. But if I took things further with her and fed the attraction between us, a brief moment of hurt would become a fucking lifetime of agony for her.
That was all I brought to anyone I cared about.
I was doing it for her own good.
Her own protection.
Protection from me.
8
~Ashley~
ELATION COURSED THROUGH ME.
My hand moved across the notebook, almost of its own accord as I let my imagination and passion for creating guide me.
I’d been making the most of being stuck in the house all day while Finn had been working on God knew what all morning. He’d then spent two whole hours wailing on a punching bag in the basement. The room wasn’t soundproofed and I’d been able to hear the repetitive thumps, his fists and feet smacking into it over and over. He had some major stamina, that was for sure.
And, clearly, a lot of things to work out of his system.
“What’s that?”
I jolted, only just managing to catch my notebook before it hit the floor. “Crap,” I breathed, looking up to see Finn standing over me, his eyes riveted on one of my designs.
“It’s an idea for my company logo.” I smiled to myself as I read the text. “TRUE INK. It’s a silly dream I’ve had since art school.”
“To open your own tattoo parlor?” he queried, perceptively.
“Yeah,” I confirmed. “But, like I said,
