“I’m here, Finn. They didn’t get me, didn’t take me from you.”
“And they never will,” he seethed.
“There’s another way, baby.” I knew it for a fact. Jesse and I hadn’t just sat around shooting the shit earlier. He’d told me everything, shown me everything. I knew exactly what was in that folder Finn had been clutching so tightly when I’d walked into our room earlier.
“Nothing else is as surefire as this.”
“So, not only are you determined to go through with the plan, but you’re taking point?”
“Iron Kings is outnumbered and outgunned. The club’s been in a legitimate and peaceful state for a long time. Even with the preparations we’ve been doing since I got here, it’s still not enough. They need an expert.”
“And that has to be you?”
He shrugged. “I’m the best.”
“Well, what about your injuries? I saw what happened with your hand during the battle in your garage.”
“I've got it handled.”
Urgh. He had an answer for everything.
“Finn, I don’t want to lose you. I can’t.”
He stepped up close, sliding his arms around my waist. “You won’t.”
I buried my face in his chest, murmuring, “How can you know that, for sure?”
“You need to trust that I know what I’m doing. This job is nothing compared to what I’m used to. It’ll be a walk in the park for me.”
“I don’t believe you,” I said, shaking my head against his chest. “The last time you were on a dangerous mission, you nearly died. I saw the aftermath, remember? I know how bad it was, how painful, and how close to death you were.”
“I made that sacrifice intentionally, Ashley. To protect people from the monster in me. Back then, I was right on the verge of losing control completely with no chance of pulling it back.”
I lifted my head to look at him. “And what if you do that again?”
He tried to blow it off, but I saw a brief flicker of hesitation in his eyes, as he said, “Like I said, you won’t lose me.”
He rubbed his eyes, his exhaustion clear. Regret emanated from him. Pain flickered in his tired eyes. As I took all of that in, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t continue our argument. It was just making things that much worse for him.
Besides, he was stubborn and incredibly forthright. He’d already made up his mind. No amount of pleading from me was going to change it.
He needed my support now, my love and care more than anything else.
“Come on,” he said, his voice cutting through my thoughts, making me jolt. “It’s getting late. We should join the boys for dinner downstairs, then crash.”
Fine.
I’d entertain what he wanted for now, go along with what he was determined to do.
But if he thought I was going to allow him, my dad, and everyone I loved to put themselves in such danger for a suicide mission borne from rage, fear, exhaustion and retribution, they were all very wrong.
They’d all done so much to protect me. Now it was my turn.
29
~Wraith~
“COME THE FUCK ON.”
Just like old times.
I’d fallen back into the old habit of whispering to myself like a demented madman.
Back then, I hadn’t been that far off from the disturbing label. Holding the title as the best of the best in such a demented line of work pretty much required you to be one step from full-on psychopath.
But I’d come a long way since then.
Undertaking this mission was disturbing to me on many levels.
The killing, for one. Ashley had been right when she’d called it a massacre. It was going to be a bloodbath of epic proportions. And it was my job to ensure it happened. I honestly wasn’t sure what it’d do to me. I’d only just started sleeping through the night for the first time in years, thanks to Ashley. Somehow, just her mere presence, her body wrapped in mine, soothed me. She’d helped me to find an effective way to keep the monster in check. I knew she thought this mission was a massive step back from all the progress I’d made. But I couldn’t walk away from it, I couldn’t fucking risk it.
I’d told Scott and the club about all the evidence Jesse had compiled, but the vote to go this route had still been unanimous. Because the truth was the Rogues had managed to succeed in getting under our skin. They’d attacked club businesses, gone after the club princess three times. The third time they’d gotten so close to taking her. They’d just been getting closer and closer. That was why I’d been hell-bent on this plan. The idea of Ashley being hurt like that, of losing her like that… I couldn’t stand it.
I’d never loved anyone the way I loved her.
I’d never needed anyone the way I needed her.
I had a very specific skillset, the power to make damn sure that I didn’t lose her. All this time I’d been holding back that part of me and the Rogues had just grown bolder and gotten closer.
I wouldn’t risk losing Ashley or my new life with the club just because fully embracing my old life was uncomfortable and a risk for provoking the monster.
All these intense thoughts running through my head really wasn’t a good indicator that I had this mission in the bag.
I was rusty. It’d been too long.
My head should be clear.
My sole focus should be the mission at hand, my plan of action, lining up my shots.
And, shit, I couldn’t get that look of Ashley’s out of my head. The last I’d seen of her before taking off to this godforsaken place at sunset.
Fear.
Despite my reassurances, she was terrified for me, terrified of losing me, of losing what we had.
I hated seeing that from her, feeling that from her. I couldn’t really blame her either. Sure, she had a lot of inner strength and she was no stranger to the workings of
