She focuses on her slender fingers, idly fidgeting with her left ring finger. There’s no wedding band there anymore. She said she stopped wearing it because strangers would see it and automatically call her Mrs. Morgan, instead of Miss, and it was too painful.
“I guess I haven’t been myself for a while,” she whispers.
“Hey.” I make her look at me, my hand involuntarily cupping her cheek. “You’ve been through hell. You’re allowed to react the way you want.”
“Sometimes, I think if it wasn’t for Jacob, I would’ve lost my mind already.”
Her statement hits very close to home. It’s how I felt with Willow after the accident. She was my only reason for getting out of bed most mornings. She kept me grounded and sane when I thought I’d never recover. “You’re very strong, Clara.”
She gives me a small smile, but it seems forced.
I fight my urge to kiss her. To make her lips move of their own accord. For her to want me enough to not force a thing.
I think I could make her happy—if she only knew how I felt.
I’ve been good at hiding my feelings for her after all this time, but having her here—it’s fucking with my carefully practiced denial.
After all, the circumstances have changed. She’s not married anymore. Not taken by another man. She’s… free.
Almost.
I drop my hand. “What did you want to ask me?”
“You never settled down.” She watches me over the rim of her glass as she takes a drink. The fireplace crackles beside us, and it feels like we’re in one of her favorite Hallmark Christmas movies.
“That’s not a question.”
She sighs. “Why? I mean, I thought you and Dani were perfect for each other. I was surprised when you broke up.”
Swiping at the corners of my mouth, I recall Dani’s tear-streaked face when I refused her ultimatum—either I propose to her, or we break up.
Living together wasn’t enough for her, and I couldn’t bring myself to get down on one knee. Not when all I could imagine was Clara’s face instead of hers.
“Dani wanted things I couldn’t give her.”
“The fear of commitment again?”
I pat her knee, choosing my words carefully, not sure that having this conversation tonight—or ever—is a good idea.
But she asked.
“In a way.” I take a sip of wine to wet my dry throat while Clara waits for my answer, her lips parted. We lock eyes for a beat, and the humor from before is now gone. “A lifetime is too long to spend with the wrong person.”
“Why haven’t you tried to find the right one?”
I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the way she’s looking at me, expectantly, innocently—always innocent. Always oblivious to my feelings. But the damning words leave my mouth before I can think better of it. “I did. But she was taken. I was too late,” I say, my voice a strained whisper.
Her finger traces the rim of her glass, and her movement slows the longer we stare at each other.
My mouth goes completely dry.
The blood rushes to my ears as her face pales, and her finger stops.
Time stops.
“Mom?”
We both jump off the couch like Jacob caught us with our pants down—shit.
“Yes?” Clara rushes to him.
“You didn’t finish the chapter.”
“What?” she rasps.
My heart thunders in my chest at what I almost confessed to. But what I said might’ve been damning all the same.
“You said you’d read a whole chapter, but you didn’t finish it.”
“Jacob, sweetie, it’s late.” She ushers him back into his room. “I’ll finish tomorrow night, okay? Good night.”
She closes the door behind her and faces me.
“I’m going to head out and let you get some rest.” I stuff my hands in the pockets of my jeans, and when I reach the front door, she stops me.
“Dax?”
She doesn’t say anything else. Indecision crosses her features like it did the night I kissed her in high school.
So many years ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday.
She was unsure at first, her eyes wide in shock with a hint of fear. I assumed she was just as afraid of crossing that line as I was. But once my lips touched hers, her body sagged into mine, and she kissed me back.
I often wondered over the years if she ever wrote about it in her diary.
Our kiss was noteworthy.
It was right.
I know it could be good with us for the long haul, but she looks at me with shock and a whole lot of fear now. She’s not ready.
And I refuse to lose her—not after finally getting her back here.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Clara.” With a tight-lipped smile, I leave her standing in her living room.
And I leave more pieces of my heart with her too.
Six
Clara
After I drop Jacob off at school, I stop at Daisey’s flower stand around the corner. Mitch used to bring home sunflowers every few weeks because he knew how much I love them. I smile at them in my passenger seat as I put my car in park in my driveway.
There’s a moving truck next door to our house, and a woman stands out front. She yells orders to the moving crew about not scratching the hardwood floors when placing the furniture inside. “No, no, no. Use both your hands. That’s heavy.” She points to one guy, then shuffles after him when he doesn’t immediately comply.
Her short, strawberry blond hair bounces around her shoulders as she whips her head every which way. The sight alone makes me dizzy.
I get out of my car, ready to greet her, but she runs into the house, her phone to her ear. Pulling my own phone out, I click on the first name in my messages and head inside.
Me: I have a new neighbor.
Dax: Let me guess… balding old guy who believes gold chains are still popular?
I grab a vase for the flowers. They brighten up the kitchen, especially with the sun shining through the blinds.
Me: Not
