‘I understand her anxiety, I do, but what’s going on …’ She glances up at the driver and lowers her voice to a stage whisper. ‘It’s just hot air. It’s bullshit.’
‘OK, sure, and I’m the first person to stand up for Matthew, but we have to be honest that even if it’s bullshit, it’s bullshit that’s not going away, you know?’
‘If I thought there was truth in these rumours, I wouldn’t be anywhere near this project.’
‘It’s Matthew’s project though. It’s his company.’
‘His name’s not on it.’
‘You work for him! People aren’t going to be fooled by that shit. You’re his girl.’
Becky feels her phone slip in the sweat on her palm. She covers it with her other hand as Sam continues to talk and says to the driver, ‘I’ll jump out here.’
She is still a few streets away from where she needs to be and the route to Matthew’s house is horribly familiar.
‘People are believing women, Sam,’ says Becky, louder than she intended. ‘That’s a thing in our culture right now. Believe me when I say this film is watertight for your client.’
There is the wine shop. She crosses the road to avoid it, and half-turns her head away in case the man from that afternoon is in there.
‘And I think that helps, I honestly do!’ says Sam. ‘But, cards on the table, if Emilia turns round to me tomorrow and asks me outright if she should do this, I’m fucking torn. She loves it and I love it but let’s be honest, it’s not a payday for her, so what’s it about? It’s an awards movie. She gets a Best Actress nomination out of this. But if it turns into the film about feminism that a male rapist made … you hear what I’m saying? That film doesn’t get distribution, let alone a run at awards season. It’s bad. And what’s worse than that is if she goes ahead and does the film even though the story is on the table. We could cut it back a little, say she was under contract already and believes in due process, blah blah, but it’d still look bad, and all for zero upside. You see what I’m saying here?’
‘I don’t know what else to say.’
‘Well you need to think, friend, because what I need from you is something very smart and substantial to tell to my client, otherwise the thing I’m left saying is all the stuff I just laid out. And by the way, I’m only even having this conversation because I like Matthew a lot and because I think you have a big future as a producer. If it was anyone else I’d tell Emilia to bail already and be done with it. Fuck knows she has other options.’
‘I hear you.’
‘Cool, but what am I hearing from you?’
Becky is dizzy. She wants to ask for time. She wants to lie down. She needs a day – a week, maybe more – to figure out a way through this mess. She feels like a squash ball getting smashed around the court, flying at all angles. And Sam wants his answer or everything collapses.
She stops and leans against a garden wall, taking a deep breath. Even as the clock ticks and Sam waits, she can’t help but wonder whether Scott has ever had to justify himself so thoroughly for his actions in his entire life. Had another woman suffered at his hands since he touched her? She burns with shame and anger at her own weakness and inaction.
Then she straightens her spine, stands to her tallest height, plants her feet firmly on the ground.
‘First and foremost,’ she says, ‘this film is going to matter to women. It’s a call to women everywhere to stand up for justice. How much would it suck if, of all things, gossip about a man derailed that? I don’t think any of us should feel good about letting go of a film like Medea over something like that. How does doing another superhero film shift the conversation? Really? So that’s the first thing. Secondly, tell her that Sharon’s nobody’s fool and nobody’s little woman either and she’s still on the film. Emilia can sit behind that if she needs to. She’s not going to throw a great female director under the bus over an unproven rumour. That wouldn’t be very sisterly now, would it?’
‘Sharon’s definitely still on it?’
‘One hundred per cent.’
‘OK, that’s good. Because if Sharon bails then Emilia will too. You get that, right?’
‘Yes, I get that.’
‘OK, that’s solid. And can I tell Emilia that you’re looking at ways to potentially remove the project from Matthew and Kingfisher?’
She pauses. ‘We can try to position it like it was never really one of his things in the first place, but I’m not taking the film away.’
‘All right. So you’re going down if he goes down, huh?’
‘What?’
‘If you’re not cutting ties, you’re staying tied to him. It’s admirable, man. A true fucking friend, for sure. He’d better write you the biggest fucking Christmas bonus of his life.’
‘I owe him a lot.’
Scott must pay. Someone must pay.
‘OK. Cool. I think we’re done here. Great talking with you, cowgirl. Go get ’em!’
‘Bye, Sam. Send Emilia my love.’
With perfect timing, she has reached Matthew’s front door. This time, she rings the doorbell and waits.
Chapter 19
‘Instant?’ Antonia says. ‘Hope that’s all right?’ She fills the kettle to the top. ‘There’s been no time to do a proper shop. People, lawyers, in and out. I don’t know where I am any more.’
Becky is now fairly certain that the morning Antonia whirlwinded into the office she was confronting Matthew about his indiscretions with Amber. It’s only now, as Becky recalls how much rage and determination were set in the creases of Antonia’s face, that she thinks maybe this was less shock than the signs of a woman who’d had enough. How had she found out? Had Matthew said something to her? What had
