But then the shouting came — Cygnet’s stringy cries. “Mayhap Cecily Ballastian! What do you think you are doing?”
Mayhap Cecily Ballastian, Mayhap thought. Of course. That was her name.
Bellwether took other-Mayhap by the elbow and pulled her away, tugging her up the steps. Pavonine stood at her mother’s back, and Winnow hovered at her side. Their droomhunds all scuttled behind them, like little shadows with eyes and feet.
Mayhap wanted to break into pieces. Her bones felt as brittle as burned sugar.
The whole family stood together, looking at her.
“I was only trying to be nice,” said other-Mayhap.
“You don’t know what she’s capable of,” said Cygnet. “She —”
“What did she do?” asked other-Mayhap.
She doesn’t know, thought Mayhap, feeling the Mysteriessa shift in her chest.
“Never you mind, darling,” said Cygnet. She crouched and brushed a hand on other-Mayhap’s cheek.
“But I want to know,” said other-Mayhap softly. “You never tell me anything.”
“We don’t tell you because it would hurt you,” said Bellwether. “Now, go inside and finish your dinner.”
Other-Mayhap frowned, but she obeyed. She seemed younger than Mayhap, more like Pavonine but less stubborn. Mayhap could see the two sides wrestling within her: the desire to please her parents and the desire to know the truth.
Bellwether trained his eyes on Mayhap. “What are we going to do, Cygnet?” he said. His droomhund scratched at his leg.
Pavonine looked out into the grass with teary eyes.
Winnow was transfixed by the ground.
“She can’t stay at the house,” said Cygnet. “She’s dangerous. Obviously.”
“Obviously,” said Bellwether.
“We can’t leave her out here, though,” said Cygnet. “It’s cold. And it’s dark. She’s just a child.” She stared into Mayhap’s eyes as she said the words, and Mayhap was struck by the sadness in them. “We’re going to take you inside,” she said, enunciating the words slowly.
“But we can’t, Cyg. It’s not safe,” said Bellwether.
“We can lock her in the upstairs sitting room,” said Cygnet. “Until we decide what to do.”
Bellwether nodded.
Mayhap wanted to cry out. She wanted to say that she was their family, that she wouldn’t hurt anyone, that she hadn’t known. But she couldn’t form the words.
Winnow was crying.
“You can lock me away,” said Mayhap. “But I need to tell you something first. The reason Winnow is sick — it’s Evenflee, her droomhund —”
“We know her droomhund’s name,” said Cygnet bitterly.
“He’s trapped inside her mind,” said Mayhap. “You need to get him out before —”
Before he scratched away at everything that made Winnow Winnow.
Mayhap was afraid that her sister would die if Evenflee stayed there for much longer.
But Cygnet and Bellwether Ballastian only stared at her.
Mayhap swallowed and continued, “I know the Mysteriessa —”
Cygnet stiffened. “You don’t know her,” she said, misunderstanding what Mayhap was about to say. “You are her.” She looked at Mayhap’s breastbone as though she were searching under the fabric of her nightgown for the white-eyed girl. “Don’t think I don’t know you’re in there,” she continued, the words vicious. “You have already torn our family apart. Telling us we could find Mayhap if we left and then keeping us from Pavonine and Winnow once we had. The grass wouldn’t let us through, no matter how much we fought it.” She rolled up the sleeve of her cardigan. There were scars on top of scars on her forearm, as though the grass had burned her skin over and over again. Cygnet’s voice cracked. “No. We will deal with this problem on our own. We will find a cure for Winnow on our own.” She put a hand on top of Winnow’s dark head. Bellwether touched Cygnet’s shoulder, clenching his jaw.
Mayhap looked down, ashamed. She wanted to look up. She wanted to deny it. But she carried on staring at her feet. The silver grass swayed around her gently, but it didn’t reach out for her. Perhaps even the grass didn’t want her anymore.
Cygnet said, “Now, let’s go inside.” She nodded at Bellwether, putting her arms around Winnow and Pavonine.
Bellwether took Seekatrix away from Mayhap and grabbed her arm.
“No,” said Mayhap. “No! You can’t take Seeka!”
Bellwether didn’t listen. He handed Seekatrix to Cygnet, and she held him fast, even as the droomhund squirmed and cried.
“Pav —” said Mayhap. “Please look after him. Pav —”
Pavonine wouldn’t even look at her.
Mayhap kicked and pushed against Bellwether, but she wasn’t strong enough to get free.
He dragged her into the house and up the stairs, and Mayhap was so upset that she nearly didn’t notice that the house wasn’t her Straygarden Place but a perfect mirror image of it.
The Mysteriessa sent other-Mayhap here, she thought. And then Cygnet and Bellwether. A second Straygarden Place.
Bellwether pushed her through a door and slammed it behind her.
The room — a sitting room with tapestries adorning the walls — was so quiet that all Mayhap could hear was her own breath and Bellwether’s receding footsteps.
She had never been so alone before. She had never been locked away before. She had always had Seekatrix by her side. Her heart rattled in her chest with every breath, like an empty bowl, spinning.
She banged on the door. “Let me out!” she called. “Let — me — out!”
But if they heard her, they did not listen.
They were afraid of her, and so they had locked her away.
Without Seekatrix, Mayhap’s heart ached as though it had been trampled. She pressed against her chest with her palm to see if it would ease the pain, but it didn’t. She spent some time lying on the floor, staring at the ceiling. She spent some time calling through the keyhole.
Nothing happened. No one came.
After scratching at the door until she had splinters in her fingers and screaming until she was hoarse, Mayhap finally lay down on one of the velvet sofas. The house did not tuck a blanket around her. When she asked it for water, a glass did not appear.
This was their house. It was supposed to look after them, not her. Her eyes filled with tears. She missed her house. She knew that house. This
