Audrey went back for seconds as Sam and Charlie started reminiscing about teachers they’d shared, those they’d loved, those they didn’t like and couldn’t get away from. Glad the focus had shifted away from her, Audrey watched Gran talking contentedly to Layla, Charlie talking happily to Sam, and she wondered what it was between Sam and Gran that stopped them having a normal relationship. Gran had a life before, Audrey knew that much hearing her shared anecdotes about nursing when she chatted away to Charlie, but how had that life evolved into this one and what had driven the wedge between mother and daughter?
With the main course over, Audrey preheated the oven ready to put the dessert in. They’d already agreed to have a break first so they could appreciate the crumble and ice-cream when they weren’t so full. Layla was marking off the square on the kindness calendar that said, ‘Do a sibling’s chores’, and she had Sam looking at it now as she recapped everything she’d done so far. Monday last week she’d taken a box of vegetables to another neighbour, Tuesday she’d taken a bag of clothes that no longer fitted to the charity shop, Wednesday she’d played at the park with Archie from school, a kid she thought weird because he was so quiet, which meant she could cross off the day that asked the kids to ‘befriend someone you know but have never spoken to’. Poor Archie had been bossed around, according to Charlie, who told the story when Layla ran off to use the bathroom mid re-cap. He’d been ordered to go on the roundabout then do a circuit via the swings, onto the slide and over to the café for a milkshake.
‘School sounds a lot of fun,’ said Audrey when Layla came back to the kitchen. ‘Make the most of it at primary, kid – high school is different.’
Layla moved the calendar in Veronica’s direction so they could look at it together.
‘I can’t wait to see what’s in store for next month,’ said Veronica before regaling the story about the teddy bear drive.
‘I gave them Boris,’ Layla explained, ‘he’s the bear Veronica knitted me. I thought other kids might need him more than I did and I have so many teddy bears.’
‘I can vouch for that,’ Charlie called over from where he was rinsing the plates before Sam loaded them into the dishwasher. ‘It’s a wonder she can even get into bed some nights.’
‘You knitted a teddy bear, Gran?’ Audrey asked.
‘I’ve knitted quite a few in my time.’
Audrey looked over at Sam. ‘Wait…Mum, is that where the bear in your bedroom came from?’ Sitting on the shelf in Sam’s wardrobe alongside a collection of perfumes was a pale brown knitted bear with a simply sewn face, navy trousers and a sky-blue jumper. Audrey could remember Sam putting it on that shelf out of reach when she was little because it wasn’t for playing with; it didn’t take part in the teddy bear picnics Audrey had done as a kid with her friends when they came over.
‘It is,’ Sam confessed, visibly thrown by the question, as was Gran who stared at her daughter as though begging to know the answer to a question neither of them really understood.
It took Layla a while to bring Veronica back to the conversation but when she did, all Veronica wanted to talk about was the kindness calendar. ‘You make sure you bring the new calendar month to show me after school as soon as you can, Layla.’
‘Of course. I have swimming lessons the first day back but I’ll come the morning after, nice and early.’ Luckily Charlie was too busy helping Sam to see the wink the pair shared over the secret piano lessons Veronica was giving. ‘I think Mrs Haines was pleased with the last teddy bear drive so there’ll be another one before Christmas.’
Veronica beamed. ‘Then I’ll start knitting. I’ve got enough odds and ends of wool around to make at least one or two bears. It’ll keep me busy.’
‘He’ll be a multicoloured bear if you use odds and ends,’ Layla smiled. ‘And if he’s too nice, I might not want to give him away.’
‘I know you will, you’ve got a good heart,’ said Veronica.
Watching them together, Audrey felt her anger rise again at missing out on forming this kind of special relationship with her gran. Her mum had seen to that by keeping them apart and looking at Gran now, Audrey couldn’t work out why.
When they finally sat down for dessert, Audrey watched her gran closely. She joined in bits of conversation, she never ignored her or Layla, but Audrey knew the mention of Sam’s teddy bear still being in existence had left an effect. It was as though Gran’s mind wasn’t sure what to do with that titbit of information and she kept trying to bat it away so she didn’t have to deal with it.
Audrey helped clear up after dessert but soon excused herself to go to bed, even before Layla and Charlie left. She used her laptop under the duvet and feigned sleep whenever she heard footsteps on the stairs that inevitably paused outside her room. Only when she was sure she wouldn’t be interrupted did she open the laptop, the screen providing plenty of light, and used the search engine to find what she wanted.
Thinking of moving to New Zealand? the title screamed out to her. She was immediately sucked into the website’s promises of a great outdoor lifestyle, unique culture and scenic beauty, and the gorgeous photograph only confirmed what she already knew: that on the other side of the world was her dad, waiting for her, ready to help her start a new life and leave all her troubles behind.
‘I’ll be there as soon as I can, Dad,’ she promised to the screen, to herself, the way she’d promised in her last email to him, the one before that, and the
