So, Mom went off to make her decision in the bedroom. I peeked through her keyhole to see what she was doing in there. I watched her open her closet and fold the last of her clothes into a suitcase. It was the one she was going to take on the plane. I guess she wanted to make sure everything would fit.
While she was doing that, I found my cousin Jackie in the kitchen. With her arms folded, she was regarding the cabinets.
“Hey, Jackie,” I said.
“Why don’t you have a microwave?”
“Um… I don’t know. I guess we just don’t need it?”
“Maybe I’ll get one of those countertop ones. I don’t want to use up valuable space with it though.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Why do you want to live here so badly? Why are you putting yourself through this whole thing? I thought you loved your apartment. It’s a block away from your work and you can walk to the grocery store.”
“Honey, this is more than just a house, don’t you know that?”
My face must have shown the cold dagger of fear buried in my heart. I didn’t want her to finish that thought. The house hated to be talked about in that way.
“It’s the heart of our family. When we get together for Thanksgiving, we all pack into here. When there’s a funeral, this is where we hold the wake. All the news filters through here, and this is where decisions happen. It might not seem like much to you, but these things are important.”
“Why would all those things continue to happen here, at this house?” I asked.
“This is the heart. Every family has a heart. That’s where I want to be.”
I still didn’t understand and I was about to ask her more questions to try to get to the bottom of it, but we both heard the front door. She probably thought that it meant a decision was imminent, but I figured that it meant my father was home. We were both right. The conversation ended and I followed her to the living room.
Mom came into the living room at the same time. She set her suitcase down and stood next to it.
“I’m glad you’re here,” she said to my father. “I’ve made my final decision and I want you all to know that it wasn’t easy. I appreciate your patience, and…”
I heard someone say, “Get on with it.” I couldn’t tell where the voice had come from. There were eleven people all gathered in our living room, including me, Mom, and Dad. If she was only after money, I’m sure she could have demanded a bidding war.
“I’m afraid that I won’t be able to lease this house to any of you,” Mom said, gesturing towards her gathered relatives.
There was a quick gasp followed by several people murmuring their anger. Jackie was beginning to turn red. I could tell back in the kitchen that she was utterly convinced that it was going to be her.
“What are you even talking about?” Jackie asked. “You put us through all this and you had no intention of moving, did you? You just wanted to see us all squirm for your approval.”
She looked like she was about to say something really nasty about Mom, and Dad moved to stand at Mom’s back and put his hand on her shoulder. If something physical was about to happen, they were going to have to go through him, it seemed. I worried that Dad wouldn’t get the chance to defend Mom. If the house got involved, Jackie might not live to express her disappointment.
“Hold on, Jackie,” Mom said. “I never said that I wasn’t moving. In fact, Ted and I are leaving for Dallas this afternoon.”
Dad took his hand off of Mom’s shoulder. He was now as shocked as the others.
“Amber will be eighteen soon and she deserves the opportunity to finish her senior year here. We’ve decided that it would be unfair of us to ask her to start over in a new school in what should be a happy ending to her childhood. She’s responsible and independent, and we trust her implicitly.”
“Wait,” I said.
“Hold on,” Dad said. “We never…”
Mom silenced him with a raised hand.
I wanted to object, but I was afraid. All that time, I thought I was scared of the house. In that moment, I realized that I was just as scared of my own mother. As long as I was under that roof, her raised hand could strike me down. In a flash, it occurred to me that once my parents were gone, there would be nothing stopping me from running away again. With them down in Dallas, I could make a clean break. And, since I really was turning eighteen soon, they wouldn’t even have legal recourse.
Mom said, “This was Amber’s decision and I respect her for making the right one. Maybe when she goes off to college, one of you will have the opportunity to take over for her. Until then, you’ll have to wait.”
When it was clear she was finished, the living room exploded in arguments. Jackie was the first to really shout directly at Mom, and once she did, it seemed like everyone felt free to scream at her. Dad backed away from Mom. He didn’t seem interested in defending her anymore. It was pretty clear that he didn’t have to. When Jackie tried to approach Mom, the floor shook and a bookcase toppled. It crashed to the carpet between Jackie and Mom. That stifled the uproar for a moment and then it resumed even louder. People weren’t making direct threats anymore, but they weren’t shy about telling Mom how crazy she was.
It took me a few moments to realize that they
