“It is possible to do your work during the day, like a human being would,” Mary said.
George shrugged. “Too much good stuff going on.”
“What are you studying?” Amber asked.
He was chewing when he answered and had to repeat himself before she understood.
“Philosophy.”
“Just in time, too,” Vernon said. “That new philosophy factory is about to open.”
Ricky leaned close to Amber and said, “Dad thinks it’s funny to make fun of George because he’s actually very proud of him.”
“Untrue,” Vernon said. “Pride would mean that I felt like I had nurtured him into a bright young man capable of achieving these great things. I’m fully aware that my contribution to his upbringing did nothing at all to launch him down this path.”
“That’s very philosophical, Vernon,” Mary said.
“Well said,” George said.
“Will you all excuse me for a moment?” Amber asked. When she had permission, she rose and began to gather her plate. Ricky shook his head and put his hand over her plate, telling her not to worry about it. Amber left them in silence and retreated to the stairs, not slowing until she was back in the room where she had napped.
She sat on the edge of the bed and leaned over, looking down at her feet until she could catch her breath. Amber stayed that way for a couple of minutes, with her head propped up by her hands. Tucker appeared beneath her, looking up and putting his nose to hers. She pulled back, smiling.
“Sorry,” Ricky said from the doorway.
“Don’t be.”
“I mean I’m sorry to intrude. It looks like you want some space. Come on, Tucker.”
“No, it’s fine. Really.”
Ricky hovered in the doorway, looking nervous. Amber pushed back farther onto the bed, leaning back against the pillows propped up there.
“What do you think is worth dying for?” she asked.
“Huh?”
“At the table. The thing your mom told you before.”
“Oh,” he said, shaking his head. He finally came into the room and pulled the chair out from behind the desk so he could sit down. “Not worth dying for—that’s not what she said—worth risking my life for.”
“What’s the difference?”
“I’m not prepared to die for anything at the moment. I mean, I guess I am, but it’s not the same thing. When I decided I wanted to be a deputy, my father was against it. Mom was the one who convinced him. But before she did, she had a talk with me. She wanted to be sure that I knew what I was getting into.”
Amber nodded.
“Her point was that there can be a wide gulf between what law enforcement is supposed to be about and what it’s actually about. I think she was okay with me risking my safety as long as I had my eyes open about why I was doing it.”
“And why are you doing it?”
“Because people aren’t perfect, and sometimes that leads to others getting hurt. If I can, I want to be the person to steady everything before it has a chance to topple.”
“Even if it falls on you?”
“Better me than someone else. I can take it,” Ricky said. “That’s the point where my mom would say, ‘Confidence is the food of the wise man, but the liquor of the fool.’”
“That makes sense,” Amber said.
“Yeah. I think it’s just a quote from The Office though.”
“Oh.”
They were silent for a moment. Tucker had been leaning against Ricky’s legs while Ricky scratched his head. He came to Amber and pressed his nose up under her hand, making her smile.
“I told my brother that he smelled so bad that it made you leave the table.”
Amber laughed.
“I just…”
She didn’t know how to finish.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to explain yourself. You can stay if you want or I can give you directions to some of the hotels around here. Honestly, the best place to stay is the little hotel down at the Lakes, but it’s not open this time of year. For a decent place, you’ll want to go about twenty minutes south.”
“I’ll stay here if it’s okay,” she said. “I’m nocturnal though. I mean, I’m going to be up all night and sleep during the day. I hope that doesn’t freak anyone out.”
“Not a problem,” Ricky said. “I’ve been working whatever shift I can get. Tonight, you’ll have company. George really will be up all night working on his project. He has some really weird study habits.”
Ricky stood.
“We’ll be down in the living room if you want to join us, but no worries if you don’t.”
“I just need a few more minutes,” Amber said.
Ricky waved. After calling the dog out of the room, he shut the door most of the way. Amber could hear the sounds of cleanup happening downstairs. Somewhere a television came on and then a little later a radio in the room next to hers. The house seemed big compared to Evelyn’s house, but the family made it seem small. Amber felt like she could track each one of them as they moved around. She even knew when Ricky left before she saw his flashlight carving through the woods.
Their closeness to each other made Amber anxious. It seemed like Ricky and his family didn’t have any secrets from each other. Feet came up the stairs and Amber held her breath, waiting for someone to knock on the door. Instead, she heard Vernon through the wall, talking to George. She couldn’t hear the words, but the tone led her to believe that everything was perfectly normal between them. George had showed up unexpectedly, eaten dinner, and then retreated to his room to work and everyone simply took it in stride, like that was all perfectly normal. At that moment, Amber decided to pack up her things. It would be embarrassing, but she would make her
