“It’s good to see you smile,” I tell him, shifting around so I can face him. “You’ve barely looked at me today, and you’ve been so serious the whole time.”
He looks at me and sighs. “What’re you doing, Kingston?”
Kingston. He likes to call me by my last name when he’s annoyed with me, and it’s always accentuated, just to get the point across.
I pop a piece of popcorn in my mouth. “Nothing. Just eating and hanging out with a friend.”
“Why are you here?”
“I told you. I’m visiting my family while I have the time off.”
“But you’re not with your brothers. You’re here with me.”
“I have time for everybody,” I answer with a shrug.
He looks away again, facing the screen. I nudge his foot with mine, bringing his gaze back to my face.
“Why can’t you look at me?”
After a few seconds of silence, he huffs and gives me an answer. “Because you’re too fucking handsome. Because being near you again is driving me crazy. Because when I look at you, I remember everything, and I’ve been trying to forget you for years. But here you are, back in town, back in my house, and trying to work your way back into my heart. I can’t allow it to happen.”
His words slam into me, making me jolt back a little. “I’m not trying to work my way back into your heart. I’m just wondering if I’m still there.”
Ali shakes his head, frustrated. “Why does it matter? What’s your plan now, Kingston? You here to tell me you want a future with me? And then once I drop everyone and everything to be with you and get my hopes up, you’ll leave? Is that it?”
“No, Ali, that’s not it,” I say softly, realizing he’s too mad to hear me out right now. This is going to take some time.
“Then what? What do you want from me, Kingston?”
“I’d settle for being your friend again.”
Ali snorts and angles his head back to the screen. “Friends.”
“I could use a friend, Ali. You’re the only one who knows me through and through.”
His head slowly swivels back in my direction. Seconds feel like hours as he studies my face, but I don’t dare break the contact. This is the longest he’s looked at me, and I’m going to enjoy his gaze on me before he decides to turn away.
His lips pull up in the tiniest of grins. “You’re so needy.”
Relief floods me, and as much as I want to throw myself at him and pull him into an hour-long hug, I just grin. “Only for you.”
The rest of the time we’re at the park, things flow a little smoother. We talk about Lexie and Leo’s wedding, and I fill him in on what’s going on with my brothers. We don’t talk about us—past or future. We just try to be friends again.
But I can’t help but think back to when I broke that friendship. It will always be my biggest regret.
16
Merrick
5 ½ Years Ago
“You all packed and ready to go?” Elijah asks me, standing in my doorway.
“I think so. I mean, I’ll be back.”
He grins. “If you do come back, it won’t be for long. You’re on your way to the big-time, baby bro.”
My smile grows. “I can’t believe I’m about to go to New York to record an album! That’s crazy, right?”
Elijah nods, still grinning. “I’m so proud of you. Mom and Dad would be, too.”
“Thanks, man.”
He pulls me into a hug, and we stand in the middle of my room for a couple minutes while a few tears roll down my cheeks.
When I step back, I wipe away the tears and clear my throat. “Uh, I have to go tell Ali.”
“He doesn’t know you’re leaving tomorrow?” he questions, aghast.
I shake my head. “I didn’t know how to tell him.”
Elijah frowns. “Waiting till the last minute probably wasn’t the best idea.”
“I know, but I didn’t want. . .” I don’t finish, because I can’t explain it to my brother without giving away what me and Ali are to each other. “I don’t know. I’ll be back, though. It’s not like I’m leaving forever.”
Elijah pins me with another look that says, you know better.
Ali opens the door and lets me in with a smile on his face. “Hey, I just got off the phone with Lexie, and she invited us to her birthday dinner next weekend. You’re free, right?”
He turns around and walks back into his living room, leaving me having to tell him my news right away.
“Um, well, no.”
Ali spins around. “No?”
I take a deep breath and blow it out. “I need to talk to you.”
His expression instantly morphs into one of apprehension. “What?”
After I sit on the couch, I wait for him to do the same. He slowly makes his way around, never taking his eyes off me.
“I’m leaving town tomorrow.”
Ali’s face doesn’t change for a few seconds, like the information hasn’t quite hit his brain yet. “What? For how long?”
I chew on my bottom lip. “I don’t know. Probably a few months.”
“A few months? What for?”
I pop my knuckles in a nervous gesture. “I didn’t know how to tell you, but me and the guys, we got a deal. We have to fly to New York to record an album.”
Ali’s eyes bulge. “What? How long have you known this?”
I scoot forward on the couch and reach for his hand. “When we came off the road last time, we had already left music with a label in New York. We had met up with someone there and talked a little, but nothing was set in stone. We just had to wait to see what happened.”
“Since you came home? That was months ago!”
“But I didn’t know what was going to happen. We’ve left music with other labels before and heard nothing back. It was just another shot in the dark.”
“When did you know for sure?”
“It’s been a few months, I guess,” I say, feeling like shit.
“Months.” He
