I felt like all the wind was taken out of my sails. I’d been coasting on the lack of criticism, thinking my work was finally good enough.
But here the professor was, poking holes in my confidence.
I sulked back to my stool next to Lily.
“I thought it was fantastic,” she whispered next to me. “I’m Lily, by the way. I don’t think I’ve ever talked to you before.”
She extended a porcelain hand, and I shook it, feeling excitement and nervousness eat at me. Was this what it was like? Making a friend?
I was confident that I would somehow find a way to screw it up.
A few seconds of silence ticked by, and then she asked me in a low whisper, “Are you part of the community here?”
I paused, not knowing what she meant at first.
She saw my expression and then clarified, “You know, part of the kink community.”
I jumped a little and took a quick sweep around. All of the students were bustling about, preparing for the next critique. No one was listening to us.
“Not yet,” I said. “My partner and I were supposed to go to a munch a little while ago, but then we chickened out.”
She nodded slowly. “That’s fair. They can be a little… intimidating if you haven’t been to one before. But everyone there is really nice. My partner and I go to the munches all the time. The next one we’re going to is this Sunday. Do you plan on coming?”
Excitement swelled within me. “Uh… maybe, I’ll have to check with my partner.”
“It’s just like any other social event. Only the people there don’t talk about their jobs or their promotions or anything boring like that. They talk about kink. You might get some ideas for what to create next in your excellent collection.”
I smiled a little, feeling the warm waves of something I’d been missing for a long time: Genuine friendship.
Though, part of me was freaking out a little, afraid that I would say the wrong thing and stomp on this small, fragile green stem poking out of the ground.
My thoughts began to whirl like an unstoppable engine, and then a question tumbled out of my mouth without permission.
“Are you a Dom or a sub?” I asked in a hushed voice.
“What?”
“Uh, never mind, that was rude.”
“No, it’s no big deal,” she said. “You just caught me a little off-guard, that’s all. I’m a sub— it’s the only way to be.”
“Oh my God, me too!” I almost shouted, excitement at finding a fellow “freak” like me out in the real world. Finally, I had someone to talk to about this. Finally, I could share my secret.
Just like that, I felt the invisible weight that had been hanging on my shoulders begin to lift a little.
Lily tilted her head to the side, her nearly white locks shimmering in the morning sun. “Do you think there’s a fire nearby or something? There are so many sirens this morning…”
And for the first time during the class period, I noticed the wail of a siren. With all the excitement of showing off what I had created, keeping track of everyone else’s presentations, and befriending Lily, I didn’t even notice.
Adam
Whenever I got home and Luke wasn’t there yet, I usually took a few minutes to myself to decompress, relax, and get the day off of me. It was essential to keeping my two lives — my dangerous cop life and my love life with Luke — separated. I didn’t want the stress of my job to pollute the heaven we had here.
I had just sank on the buttery leather couch after a long day when my phone began to buzz.
There was always a small glimmer of hope that sparkled within me when that happened, hoping it was Luke. This time, I felt bad that I was a little disappointed that the name which appeared on the screen was my brother, Jake’s.
“Hey man,” I greeted, trying to keep the reluctance out of my voice.
“Hey, Adam! Long-time no talk. It’s like you disappeared off the face of the earth, man!”
I re-crossed my legs, my heels resting on the coffee table. “I’ve been busy.”
“Yeah, sounds like it. I’ve been watching the news.”
“Oh, so you know about all that,” I said, pushing my tongue against the side of my cheek. I wondered how I could steer him away from this conversation…
But this was my nosy brother. If he ever sensed something interesting, he’d latch onto it like a bloodhound.
“Find any cool evidence?”
The silver stud flashed in my memory. “You know I can’t discuss work with you.”
“Ah, that’s no fun, man!”
“Did you just call me for gossip?” I asked gruffly.
Surely my parents had been asking about me — it had been a while since I’d talked to my mother. She was probably prodding Jake to shake me down for life updates.
“No, just wanted to see how you were doing,” he said a little overly-cheerful, even for Jake.
There was a pause.
“Is everything all right?” I asked.
“Yeah, everything’s fine,” he said in a voice two octaves higher than his usual tone.
I decided to let it pass, but there was something on his mind.
“You and Sarah still coming to visit next week?”
He was silent for a beat. That had to be it.
“Look, uh… about that.”
“Oh no, Jake, what happened?” I asked, pinching the bridge of my nose. My first thought was how Luke would react to it —
