When I raised my gaze, I felt like a new person.
“How do I look?” I asked.
“Perfect. You look perfect,” Adam said, leaning in to kiss me.
I kissed him back, long and deep.
My anxiety monster was nowhere to be found.
Even though I knew it would come back as soon as Adam left my side, it would be much smaller than before. It had been reduced from a vicious monster into a small furry pet, one of those designer dogs that yipped and nipped at ankles occasionally.
I grabbed Adam’s uniform collar and kissed him again, leaning forward on my toes. When I moved, the weight of my training collar was present on my neck, and it sent a sensation of deep satisfaction through me.
There was a flutter of movement in the corner of my eye, and I turned to see Lily standing in the doorway, her fingers firmly wrapped around a DSLR camera.
I jumped. “Have you been there the whole time?!”
She smiled and nodded, her braided platinum locks shifting as she moved. “Adam asked me to follow you so I could get pictures.”
I snapped my eyes up to Adam. His eyes were twinkling with secrets.
“You thought of everything!”
He nodded. “Attention to detail is my strong suit.”
“You’ll make such a great detective,” I said, practically swooning.
“I’ve got to head back to the station soon, my lunch break is almost up,” Adam grumbled next to me on the sidewalk.
A week had passed since the day Adam gave me my collar, which was now wrapped around my neck proudly for all of New York to see. It filled me with a sense of power and belonging that I didn’t think was possible to feel.
“Just one more stop,” I begged. “Then you can go do your cop thing.”
A few times a week, Adam spent his break taking me out to lunch. If we finished early, we walked around the city hand-in-hand as we shared the details of our days.
Since everything that happened with Fenwick, Adam was being way more open with me. The details he gave me about his life, how he was feeling, and the small things that happened throughout his day were like filler cement for the cracks in our relationship.
Our bond was stronger than ever.
“Alright, but I only have fifteen minutes,” he said, keeping his eye on his watch.
“This won’t take long,” I urged.
“Where are we going?” he asked.
“To put something to rest,” I said cryptically, pulling him into an alley.
There was a barely-visible sign above a barely-visible door.
I knocked a few times, hoping that Vikka was here.
After waiting for a few heartbeats, the door swung open, and Vikka’s wrinkled face with her bright green eyes was beaming up at me.
“You’re back!” she said. “I was wondering when you would come back.”
I could practically feel the doubt and the practicality come off of Adam in waves. He stayed quiet, though — he knew this was important to me.
She let us in, and we stepped into the plant-filled, tingling space.
Adam was looking around, his head swiveling, taking in the skylights, the plants above, the crystals in the case to the right, and the Moroccan lanterns hanging colorfully in the window.
He was totally out of his element, and it couldn’t have been any more adorable.
Vikka closed the door, locking out the noise of the city. “What can I help you with today?” she asked.
“I’d like another reading,” I said with conviction, feeling more sure of myself than I had in a while. “A short one, if you can.”
“Certainly,” she said, taking her place at the round table.
She gestured to the pair of chairs across from her. “Sit.”
We followed her instructions and she began shuffling her cards.
Adam was sitting next to me patiently. Mentally, I praised him for it, so proud that I could take him to places like this. He was stern, he was commanding, but he was also open-minded. That was just one of the things I loved about him so much.
“First of all,” Vikka said with her thick Russian accent, handing me the cards to shuffle, “the fear following you around is much smaller.”
I couldn’t contain my smile, happy that I was getting this weird spiritual validation. “Thank you; I’ve been working on it.”
Vikka grinned at me, her bright green eyes sparkling. “You are glowing.”
I felt happiness course through me as I shuffled the cards, and I could practically feel Adam internally rolling his eyes.
His body betrayed nothing; only a stoic politeness.
“You said short reading, so sort cards into five piles,” she said.
I did as she asked, the backs of the card stacks displaying an interlocking Celtic-looking design. Because of the fashion collection I’d created, all of the Major and Minor Arcana and their meanings were fresh in my mind.
I was ready.
“Now pick one pile,” she instructed.
I reached forward and tapped the one second from the right.
Her face split into a knowing grin as she picked up the pile.
“Hm. I knew he would come back,” Vikka said, her green eyes on the card in front of her.
She plucked it from her hand and laid it on the table.
This card had haunted my dreams over the past few months, lurking on the edges of my fears. The card depicted a prince-looking dude riding a horse into battle.
“Knight of Swords,” she said with a knowing smile. “You’ve altered him. You’ve beaten him. You’ve forgiven him.”
Relief flooded through me. I didn’t realize how much that had been weighing on me.
Forgiveness was a funny thing — it was difficult to know how to do it, and even harder to understand when you were done forgiving someone.
“So, he won’t come back?” I asked, thinking of all of my fears that I’d told Dr. Brinkman.
Vikka shook her head. “He will not. You know how I know?”
She placed the next card from the deck on the table, face-up. It depicted a ship fighting its way through tumultuous
