Now I was getting asked by the freaking director of The Black Castle to film a sex scene in front of him. Millions of people would see my naked body, either on top of or underneath Mason’s. My body wasn’t perfect; I still had to lose a little weight before I could even dream of being in front of someone intimately comfortable. This was — it was too much pressure.
“I can’t do it,” I said, not meeting his eyes.
Even though he was wearing a suit jacket, I could see his shoulders sag ever so slightly. “I see…”
There was an uncomfortable silence that stretched out between us. The only noise was the ticking of a clock somewhere in the background.
He was still staring me down as if waiting for me to change my mind.
I closed my eyes and thought of Hazel, how she told me to choose love over fear. Here I was, retreating back to fear. It was safe there.
Saying no to this guaranteed that there was no way I could humiliate myself. And for a moment, I found myself questioning what she’d said to me about that. Sometimes, wasn’t it more appropriate to choose fear? To say no to things to keep yourself safe?
After a moment, Reese got up with all of the heavy disappointment of a kid being denied his favorite flavor of ice cream. “I’ll have to go with my backup plan, then.”
My head swiveled around to follow him as he made a beeline towards the door. Something in is voice picked at my curiosity.
“Backup plan?” I asked, my voice echoing in the huge hall.
Reese turned back to me, his jaw tight. “Oliver,” he said.
I clenched my hands.
“He’s the only one other than you with acting experience, and he has almost the aesthetic I’m looking for,” Reese explained quickly.
There was something hidden there in his voice; something was making him nervous. I knew with all of my people-reading senses that something had thrown him off-guard.
It was probably because he wasn’t used to people telling him no.
But I was equally thrown off-kilter. He was picking Oliver over me? I could see why; Oliver was so… so pretty. I could see him being all pompous and entitled in New York, taking acting classes and auditioning for Broadway.
He’d probably be more suited for the part than me.
There was something in that thought that I didn’t like at all. Despite all of my self-criticisms, I couldn’t stand picturing Oliver getting famous off that scene, becoming even more smug and entitled than he already was.
Reese turned and took a few steps towards the door.
Choose love, echoed Hazel’s voice in my memory.
I swallowed, clinging onto my fear.
Reese was closing in on the door to the outside, and my opportunity was floating away from me…
Choose love, repeated Hazel’s voice.
I squeezed my eyes shut, and heard Reese push on the door handle.
“Wait!” I called to him.
His slim form stopped in its tracks.
“I’ll… I’ll do it.” I said, the words leaving my mouth before I could stop them.
Reese’s hard, angular features softened, and he turned to face me. “That’s good to hear then,” he said. “Here’s what you need to do…”
A few minutes later, I was putting finishing touches on Alina’s hair for her sex scene, making it a little tousled. Even though she was trying to make it look like she wasn’t nervous or bothered about this at all, I caught glimpses of her staring at her nails. That paired with the fact that she was less talkative than normal led me to believe that hell had frozen over: Alina was nervous.
“You’ve got this,” I offered softly as I wrapped one of her alabaster locks around the barrel of the curling iron. “No one can do this better than you.”
I still hadn’t told her that I’d agreed to do a sex scene with Mason. I didn’t want to give her more things to stress out about right before her scene.
“It’s not that — I’ve done sex scenes before,” she said, meeting my eyes in the mirror. “It’s that… me and Leo don’t have any real chemistry.”
“Wait, what?” I said, letting her newly coiled lock fall and join the others. “You could have fooled me! That scene on the beach was fire, girl!”
She smiled weakly. “We’re both good at acting. We can fake it if the conditions are right.”
“Well, then just fake it this time too,” I said.
I knew it was weak comforting, but I was half distracted, watching Oliver out of the corner of my eye. He was frantically putting on some finishing touches on a beautiful sheer dress that was clinging to a mannequin.
Alina followed my gaze. “I shouldn’t have eaten those doughnut holes this morning… poor Oliver has to let out my dress a little in the tummy,” she said sadly.
“No no, you’re doing that thing now. You’re beautiful — have you ever looked in the mirror?” I said, pointing her face forward so that she was forced to stare at her reflection and acknowledge the truth.
She smiled a little bit, and I could almost feel her spirits being lifted.
“Thanks,” she said, fixing a warm, genuine gaze on me. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
I smiled and wrapped another one of her locks around the curling iron. “So, what is this about you and Leo not having chemistry?”
I thought of when I first saw him in the patio of that cafe; not interacting with anyone, his nose deep in one of the Black Castle books. The way he was so aloof— so golden and untouchable. And the way it felt when we shared that look…
I shuddered, feeling like a cool liquid was running down my spine.
“We just… don’t. I’ve tried everything to get to know the guy, but it’s like talking to a concrete wall. He doesn’t seem to be interested in me, or anyone on the set. We’ve all been here for a few days, and he hasn’t
