I closed my eyes, content. If I died here between these two men, I would have been happy with the life I’d lived.
Oliver stirred next to me. I could see across the planes of his cheekbones as his eyelashes fluttered open.
“What time is it…?” he asked sleepily.
I glanced down at my watch. “Twelve-thirty,” I said.
Oliver tensed under my arms. “I should be working—”
“Stay,” I said, tightening my hold on him. “You don’t have to work right now. It’s the middle of the night.”
“You don’t understand,” Oliver said, trying to sound convincing. “I’ll get behind schedule, I won’t get your costume done in time…”
“It can wait till the morning,” I encouraged. “We’re not going to be in Morocco until a week from tomorrow…”
“Do you know how long this type of stitching takes?” he asked crankily through a yawn.
I squeezed him tighter. “I don’t, but you have time to do it in the morning. It’ll still be here when you wake up,” I said.
“Will you?” he asked.
There was a beat, and I didn’t know if he wanted me to say yes or no.
“Do you want me to be?” I asked.
“No.”
I felt a curdling rejection in my gut.
He softened his voice and explained, “I really need to get things done so that we can stay on schedule… it’s not that I don’t want you here, it’s that I have to protect my work time,” he explained.
I ground my teeth a little, feeling like my heart was just dipped in acid. Again, I felt used. Just like with Mason — just like with that guy from high school.
“All right,” I said, closing myself off from him emotionally. “I’ll just leave now, then. Wouldn’t want people to see me leaving your room in the morning,” I said bitterly.
“It would probably be for the best,” Oliver agreed.
I carefully slid out from between Oliver and Crim, feeling tears bead at the corners of my eyes. I knew I shouldn’t have cared that much — we all knew this was just a hookup. Just a bit of fun. Why was I expecting some kind of connection out of Oliver?
As I stepped over him to get out of bed, I caught a glimpse of his face.
A silvery tear was crawling down his high cheekbone.
I had to do a double-take; when I glanced at him again, it was gone.
That gave me pause; maybe he was just trying to protect himself? I suspected he pretended to be drunk the night of the bonfire; an excuse he could use to come on to me.
As I dressed myself and left the room, I couldn’t help but feel conflicted. Maybe I wasn’t the only one fighting demons from my past…
“Charlie,” a voice called from down the hallway.
I turned to see Crim, looking adorably disheveled as he left Oliver’s room.
“Don’t go all the way back to your trailer — it’s late. Stay the night with me.”
I brightened. For once, I felt wanted.
“I don’t want to impose,” I said, taking a step towards the door.
“Stop that. Come to bed,” he said groggily, his eyes half-lidded.
A few minutes later, I was crawling into bed next to a rock star in the penthouse.
“Comfortable?” he asked as he wrapped his sinewy forearms around me.
I nodded, still unwilling to believe my stroke of luck. I was in bed next to Crimson Sin, cuddling with him. I thought he was the type to have a one night stand with me and be done with it, but here he was, inviting me into his bed.
I couldn’t help but wonder… was he inviting me into his heart, too?
Within seconds, his breathing evened out to a soft snoozing noise and I knew he was out cold.
There was only the sound of his sleeping noises and the chirping of the crickets outside. I felt warm, safe, and secure. I felt like for once, I belonged there.
Just like when I first met Crim in the meadow, when he touched me I felt that weird, otherworldly sensation. The same thing was there when we had sex, but I was too lost in the moment; too possessed by lust to really examine it.
I couldn’t wait to have sex with him again — just me and Crim this time. I wanted him, all of him to myself.
Turning over so I could study his sleeping face, I felt a pang of sadness. I knew I could never have him all to myself. He was a rockstar; I would always have to share him with everyone else — share him with the world.
But here in this bed, he didn’t look so much like a rockstar. It was amazing how the years and the stress and the slight lines in his face slid right off. He looked like nothing more than a boy in his peaceful slumber.
I kissed him in the darkness, hungry for that recognition.
He sleepily kissed me back, stirred, then he was out again.
I examined his face, memorizing every line. I wanted to engrave this moment in my memory forever; the moment I knew I was in the arms of my heartmate.
Somehow I woke up before the sun came up. It took a moment to register where I was. Then in a rush, it all came flooding back to me.
Last night I had a threesome with Oliver and Crim, and now I was waking up in his bed…
Did that make me a slut? I felt a little bit like a slut.
I sat up and gently shook my head, running my hands through my hair.
Crim was still passed out in the bed, spreading out to take up the entire space.
“Charlie…” he mumbled in his sleep.
“You awake?” I asked quietly.
There was no response.
I was alone here in this hotel room; alone in my mind. It felt like my world was spinning. Everything in my life had shifted so rapidly that I couldn’t figure out where I fit in anymore.
The sky was beginning to turn a dusty pastel pink
