The beaches were packed, the parks bustling, boats peppering the lake everywhere you looked. Red, white, and blue swimsuits seemed to be the only acceptable attire — aside from perhaps a Cubs or Bears hat — and American flags flew proudly from every boat, every tent, every inch of the city, it seemed. Smiles were an accessory that every party wore, music blasted, people danced and drank and rejoiced over the heat and the holiday in tandem.
When Belle told me how excited she was for the Fourth, I insisted she let me charter a boat for the two of us and her friends, Gemma and Zach. Now, it was just after nine in the morning, and I was waiting at the DuSable Harbor for the three of them to join me, viewing the lively city through my polarized Ray-Bans.
And also getting my ass chewed by my best friend.
“You’ve got to tell her, man,” Colby said. “Every day closer to the season puts you more at risk for her finding out another way. And trust me when I say you don’t want that.”
“I know, I know,” I agreed, gripping the phone a little too tight to my ear as my eyes scanned the marina for Belle, Gemma, and Zach. They would be here any minute, and the last thing I needed was to be anxious the first time I hung out with Belle’s friends. “And I will. It’s not like I plan on hiding it forever.
“No, but it is like your reasoning for keeping it a secret has literally zero foundation now. I mean, you’ve been seeing her for… what… three weeks?”
“Four, if you’re counting from the first time we met.”
“Four weeks. A month, man. A freaking month, and you know damn well by now that she has zero motivation to use you for your money or your connection to the NFL.”
“I know,” I groaned.
“Then why are you still keeping it from her?”
I blew out a frustrated breath. “It’s complicated — more now than before, if I’m being honest.”
“Elaborate.”
My eyes traced the boardwalk for signs of Belle, and when I found none, I turned toward the boat and lowered my voice just in case. “First of all, I’ve been lying to her for a month, as you so kindly just pointed out. And, her asshat ex-boyfriend who fucked her up and gave her not only a warped sense of who she is, but also a tainted view on dating, was a football player. He’s the whole reason she hates the game, man. And I’m trying to convince her all the ways I’m not like that motherfucker — not all the ways that I am.” I paused. “She literally said she would never, ever date a football player again.”
Colby was silent but for a long, exaggerated sigh.
“I know I’m in deep shit,” I said after a minute. “But, trust me. I have a plan.”
“And that plan is?”
I shrugged, as if it were obvious. “Make her fall in love with me.”
A snort was my only answer from Colby.
“I’m serious. Look, if I tell her now…” My throat was thick with the rest of that sentence, so much so that I couldn’t get it out.
“You lose her.”
“I lose her,” I agreed, hating the way that possibility crept under my skin like icy cold water. “But if we keep going down this path we’re on… well, it’ll get to a point where she won’t even care. Everything else between us will be so strong, and she’ll understand.”
Silence passed between us before Colby said, “The fact that you’ve never really had a serious relationship is showing right now, man.”
I swallowed. “Can you be a best friend here, and help comfort me somehow?”
Colby blew out another breath. “Well, I guess the silver lining is that it is still early. You’ve only been dating a month. It’s not like you’re about to propose or anything. Just… stick with your original plan. Hold out until after training camp. That gives you time to really get to know each other, and she doesn’t follow football, so as long as you’re not out on the town a lot, your cover shouldn’t be blown.” He sighed, like he still didn’t like it, even as he was saying it. “Then, sit her down and explain why you didn’t tell her up front, and then how it got more complicated once she told you about her ex. It sounds like you’ve been open with her so far, so if you keep that going, maybe she’ll hear you out in the end.”
“Maybe,” I repeated, turning back toward the city skyline. When I did, I saw three figures walking down the dock toward me, and my chest tightened. “Why do I not want to place my bet on maybe?”
“Just enjoy the day, man. Take her out on the boat, get tipsy, kiss under the fireworks and save this for another day. I’m sorry I brought it up.”
“No, don’t be. You’re right,” I affirmed. “I need to tell her. I want to tell her. I just… I don’t want to lose her in the process.”
“I hate to break it to you, man, but… you might lose her, anyway.”
My stomach soured with the thought, but it was just a flash in the pan. Because I could see Belle clearly now, and the way she looked at me, the way she smiled at me, the way those eyes told me she was in this just as bad as I was…
There was no way I’d lose her.
I just couldn’t.
“They’re here, I gotta go. Have a good holiday, brother. Thanks for listening.”
“Good luck.”
We hung up just in time for me to catch Belle, who ran the rest of the way down the dock and launched herself into my arms. She was an absolute vision in her white bikini, the red, mesh cover-up she’d paired it with blowing behind her, and one hand holding her oversized hat on her head until the moment
