“Don’t lie. You loved it.”
I wrapped her up even tighter. “I really did.”
We stood there for a long while with her in my arms and my heart in my throat. That heart beat faster and faster with every passing second, and every pulse said the same thing.
Tell her.
Tell her.
Tell her.
But when I opened my mouth to, Belle yawned again, and this one watered her eyes. She shook it off with a smile, laying her head on my chest. “Okay. You gotta put me to bed before I pass out.”
I chuckled, kissing her hair before I swept her up in my arms and carried her back to her bed. I helped her undress, and it was then that I realized just how tired she was, because she didn’t even try to make a move toward having sex. She climbed under the sheets, pulled the covers up to her chin, and sighed, wiggling around with a giant smile on her face.
“I think this is what it feels like to do a hallucinogenic drug,” she said.
I barked out a laugh, brushing her hair back from her face. “That good, huh?”
“I’m the kind of tired only a straight day of sleep can fix.”
“Well, get some sleep, then,” I said, leaning down to kiss her. She held that kiss for a long time before she let me go. “Can I see you tomorrow?”
Belle sighed. “I’d love to, but I’ll be working all day.”
I frowned. “I hate that you’re working on a Saturday.”
“Again, that makes two of us.”
“How about tomorrow night?”
Belle squeezed my hand. “Your family is in town. You should spend time with them.”
My frown deepened.
“Hey, I’m not going anywhere,” she said on a chuckle. “They flew a long way to see you. Besides, I really do need to catch up on rest. I’d really like to be in bed by seven tomorrow, if I can help it.”
I swallowed past the knot in my throat. It was killing me, to keep the truth from her any longer than I already had. I debated the consequences of just telling her now, but she could barely keep her eyes open, and she had work in the morning. It would be selfish of me to do it knowing both those truths.
“How about you come over Sunday night?” she offered when I didn’t say anything. “I have something with Gemma during the day, but I should be home around six or so.”
I blew out a breath, hating that I’d have to wait until after my game, but I would take whatever I could. “I’ll be a little later, have some work stuff to do but… I’ll grab takeout for us for dinner?”
“Only if you pick up dessert, too.”
I smiled. “I can do that.”
Belle’s sleepy smile spread as she watched me, leaning into where I held her face. “I’ve missed you.”
Her sentiment was punctuated by a hard thump of my heart. “I’ve missed you, too.”
“Will you hold me for a while?”
I shook my head like she was crazy to even think she had to ask, and she scooted over until I could fit under the covers with her. I wrapped her up in my arms, pulling her back to my chest, pressing kisses along the back of her neck as she practically purred like a kitten.
I hated that I had to wait to tell her. I’d been thinking about the exact right words all day long, almost all month long at camp. And then, my family’s surprise had thrown everything out of whack. But she was exhausted, and as much as I wanted to tell her before my first game, I realized it could wait. She didn’t watch football, anyway. It wouldn’t make a difference if I told her now or Sunday night.
A deep and heavy sigh found my chest, and I shoved it all out of my head for the time being. Just a couple more days, and she’d know everything. Until then, I needed to focus on football.
This first pre-season game would make or break me.
“Makoa,” Belle whispered after a long while, her fingers drawing lines on the arm I had wrapped around her.
“Mm?”
“I realized something while you were gone. And maybe a little tonight, too.”
“What’s that?” I asked, nuzzling her neck.
She swallowed, staying quiet for so long I thought she’d fallen asleep. But then another whisper came in the dark, and this one knocked the breath from my chest.
“I think I’m falling in love with you.”
The next beat of my heart was delayed, and when it finally came, it hit me like a punch to the gut.
I wrapped her up tighter, kissing her neck, her shoulder, the spot just under her ear. I kissed her reverently, like I didn’t deserve to, because the truth was that I didn’t.
“I think I fell a long time ago,” I whispered back.
Belle twisted in my arms, her eyes finding mine in the dim lighting of her bedroom, and she pressed her trembling lips to mine. I held that kiss strong and steady, so she knew I meant every word I said, so that it sealed my unspoken promise that I wouldn’t hurt her.
Would I?
I shook the thought from my head once more, reminding myself that until Sunday, there was nothing more to do or say. I’d tell her the truth by the time the weekend ended, and then it’d all be behind us, and everything would be okay.
Everything will be okay.
And like a sucker, I actually believed it.
Belle
My best friend at a Chicago Bears football game was like a nine-year-old kid in a store full of Disney toys.
It didn’t matter that it was a pre-season game, which even I knew didn’t count for much. Gemma was clad in her favorite Bears tank top, ripped denim shorts and — this is not a joke — Chicago Bears sneakers. They looked like Keds, except each shoe was covered in the team logo, instead. She had a rally towel hanging out of her back pocket that
