“That was a big mistake on his part,” Tara said.
“Yeah. I told him as much. I think the picture of Johnathon was his way of trying to say he was sorry.”
“It’s a beautiful gesture,” Astrid said, still teary-eyed. “The baby can look at this and see what their dad looked like as a child.”
The full weight of the situation seemed to settle over them, like a heavy blanket, muffling all sound and much of the joy. Johnathon was gone, and yet his child was on the way. The baby would be their one true link to the man who had meant so much to all of them. They all had to do their best to take care of Miranda as she went through this difficult time, and they would all need to be there when the baby was born, so that he or she could know the full circle of people who had been close to their father.
Astrid gently put down the photo. “I need to go. I have a headache. I’m so sorry.” She kissed Miranda on the cheek, then Tara. “Thank you so much for a wonderful night. We should do this more often.”
“That would be nice,” Miranda said. “Can I show you out?”
“I can find my way. But thank you.” Just like that, Astrid disappeared through the door.
“Do you think she’s okay?” Miranda asked. “I hope that seeing the nursery didn’t bother her.”
“I think she’s still processing Johnathon’s death. Like all of us.”
“So true.” Miranda stepped over to the bookcase and adjusted the picture.
“Did Andrew say anything else while he was here?” Tara asked.
Miranda turned back and drew in a deep breath, seeming even more tired now than she had when they’d arrived. “He’s a very conflicted man. I’m sure you know a lot about it, but he and Johnathon had a very rocky childhood and they didn’t come out of it with a good relationship.”
“Hard times bring some people together, but it can also tear them apart,” Tara offered.
“Exactly,” Miranda continued. “So, I don’t know. He seemed to be going through the full range of emotions while he was here. He’s definitely still harboring a lot of anger toward his brother. He said something about a botched deal. Which seems crazy to me. To my knowledge, Johnathon and Andrew were not working together on anything.”
Tara was in the dark on that one. “I’m sorry you had to be on the receiving end of that.”
“Yeah. I eventually just asked him to leave. I think that’s why he sent the photo. I think he realized he’d gone a bit off the rails.” Miranda paused for a moment and looked down at her feet. “Andrew and Johnathon are very alike. They both have the same temper. You must have experienced that at least once.”
“Absolutely.” Tara realized she might have been too quick to join in, but it was nice to be able to talk to someone who fully appreciated what it had been like to be married to a force of nature like Johnathon. He’d been someone who felt things very intensely and expressed them as such.
“Although, to Johnathon’s credit, the temper didn’t appear very often. Most of the time, he was as loving as could be.”
That hadn’t quite been Tara’s experience, but perhaps Johnathon had gotten better at being a husband the third time around. With Astrid gone, it felt as though it was Tara’s time to leave, as well. “I should get out of your hair. I’m sure you’d love to get some sleep.”
She nodded. “I would. Problem is that it’s impossible to sleep in a house this big when you’re here by yourself. It’s almost too quiet. And I can’t take a sleeping pill because of the baby.”
Tara felt bad. This couldn’t be great circumstances for dealing with her spouse’s death. “Well, hopefully having dinner guests did something to wear you out a little.”
Miranda flashed a smile. In that moment, Tara saw exactly what Johnathon must have loved about her—a warmth that radiated when she chose to share it. “I’ll walk you downstairs.”
“Sounds great.” When they reached the front door, Tara turned to say her goodbye. “Thank you for tonight. And thank you for putting your trust in me. I hope that I can make our shares of Sterling even more valuable.”
Miranda opened the door and leaned against the edge of it. “I just need you to prove to me that this is a worthwhile venture.”
“You mean a successful run at the Seaport Promenade?”
“I mean actually landing it. I know how the culture at Sterling works and if you fail at the outset, nobody will respect you. That’s just the world Johnathon established. Win or go home.”
Tara swallowed hard. She was starting to feel the pressure from all sides. “I’ll do my best.”
“And please. Talk to the city about naming something. I’d really love to see Johnathon’s name memorialized for the entire city to see.”
Once again, she found herself saying that she’d do her best.
Tara climbed into her car, but couldn’t bring herself to start the engine. She stared off into space, thinking about everyone’s competing wants and how she played a role in it. The whole process was so tiring. She slowly lowered her head until she could rest her forehead on the steering wheel. Why did she feel like she was holding the whole world together by a string? Maybe because she was.
Twelve
Win or go home. That was Tara’s new mantra, and it had been for three weeks, ever since Miranda gave her a reality check about working at Sterling. It didn’t matter that Tara had been at the company at the very beginning. It didn’t matter that she personally had a stake. It only mattered that she produced results. She would get only one shot at making the Seaport project happen.
And so Tara had been working her butt off, and she was
