Miranda looked out at the car again. “Is there somewhere you have to be? I feel like we need to talk about this.”
“Actually, I’m headed for the airport. I’m going back to Norway.”
“What? No. You can’t leave. Don’t you want to be here when the baby is born?”
Astrid felt as if her heart was being torn out right now, but she didn’t see how she could stay. Miranda and the baby were inextricably tied to Clay. “My parents are expecting me. And they’d like me to be there for Christmas.”
“Okay. I understand.” Miranda reached for Astrid’s shoulder. “But I just want to say one thing. As the person who has been through the worst of the worst with my brother, I can tell you that when he closes himself off, he’s protecting something. There have been many times when it was me. There have been many times when it was Delia. That’s all it is. His defenses.”
Astrid sighed. “I can’t fault him for wanting to shield the people he loves.” It’s a huge part of why I love him.
“Maybe you two need to have one last conversation? He’ll be here with Delia in a little bit. He decided to take a half day at work so he could spend some time unwinding.”
This was why she had to leave San Diego. She couldn’t live her life trying to dodge the man she loved, all because it would only dredge up pain. “I’m sorry, Miranda. But I have to go.”
Clay left the presentation and headed back to Sterling Enterprises with very little sense of triumph, even when it had gone incredibly well. The problem was Astrid. She’d worked so hard to drag them over the finish line, and she hadn’t been there to get any credit or do a victory lap. All of that was on him. He knew how much she struggled to work with him when he was pushing her away. He’d started their working relationship on that course. And he was still having a hard time steering off of it.
The trouble was that every magical memory of Astrid was colored by the pall of her secret. Now that he was a few days removed from the revelation, he was starting to dig down to what was really bothering him. He was terrified of being blinded by a woman. He was scared of being duped and having his whole life fall apart as a result. It had happened before, and everything had rushed back when he discovered Astrid’s secret.
He arrived back at his office and planned to take care of a few minor things before leaving to pick up Delia from school. He’d made plans with Miranda to spend the afternoon relaxing out by the pool. It had been unseasonably warm for early November, and Miranda kept the water at a balmy 82 degrees, all to keep Delia happy. But that was when he spotted an envelope on his desk, with his name scrawled in Astrid’s frenetic handwriting.
Dear Clay,
I hope the presentation went well today. If it was half as brilliant as you, it was a home run. I want to let you know that I am going back to Norway. I need to clear my head and think about what my future might hold. I plan to come back eventually, but as to when that will be, I don’t know. I also don’t know that I will stay.
I don’t want you to think of me as a repeat of the hurt in your life. Yes, I’m leaving, but you will never have to guess why. It’s not because I don’t love you. It’s because I do. And I know I’ve hurt you. I know that by proxy, this will hurt Delia. I’m doing everything I can to minimize the pain so you can heal. I want that for you more than anything.
I will never regret our time together. Even when we were at odds, I had hope that we would find our way through it. I know now that our timing was all wrong. I arrived when you weren’t ready, and I pushed even though you told me so. You gave me an opening and I took it, but only because I was desperate for even a minute with you. I’m so thankful we had more than that.
With all my love,
Astrid
P.S. Please kiss Delia for me. If she asks where I went, tell her I’ve gone looking for the Snow Princess. I’ll bring her back if I track her down.
Perhaps it was the exhaustion, but Clay was struggling to understand what he’d just read. She’s leaving? She can’t do that. He had to stop her. Right now.
He flung his laptop bag over his shoulder and jogged down the hall to the lobby. His first instinct was to take the stairs, but the maintenance people were painting them. Dammit. He pressed the elevator button and stared at the numbers, as if that might possibly make it go faster. Finally it dinged and the door slid open.
JJ from the tech department appeared out of nowhere. Clay had asked him to dig deeper on the email that was supposedly from Johnathon. “Mr. Morgan. We got an answer for you about that message. It wasn’t really from a Sterling server.”
Clay stuck his arm out to hold the elevator. “Wait. What?”
“We traced it to a company in Seattle. It’s owned by Mr. Sterling’s brother.”
Clay felt as though his heart had stopped beating. Astrid had been right. And this also meant that they had a serious problem on their hands. For some unknown reason, Johnathon’s brother, Andrew, was trying to sabotage the company. “Wow. Thank you. Can we talk about this tomorrow? I have somewhere I needed to be like five minutes ago.” Maybe ten.
“Sure thing, Mr. Morgan.”
Clay hopped on board and jabbed the button for the garage, nearly sprinting out to his car when
