“I don’t think I’ve had time to feel nervous,” I say, turning to the side and trying to suck in my stomach. “Are you sure this dress looks okay?”
I glance at Elena’s reflection in the mirror, the little smirk on her lips. I glare at her. “What?”
“Nothing,” she says. “Just, this is the third outfit you’ve put on, so I think you might be nervous whether you want to be or not. The Ruby I know doesn’t fret. You’re fretting.”
I make a face and smooth my hands over my hips. I swear they’ve gotten bigger and the black dress I’m wearing clings a little tight.
But it does have a flattering neckline.
And I am running late.
“Are you wearing matching underwear?”
I turn around and march past her to pick up my purse. “None of your business.”
“Do you need a condom?”
Shit. Do I?
Just because the last time I saw Luciano I slept with him, doesn’t mean that will happen again. It’s been two years. This date doesn’t mean that we’ll pick up right where we left off.
Even though where we left off was a night that’s imprinted on my mind, seared into my memory. When I walked away from Luciano’s that morning, heading to the hostel, I felt like I was leaving another life. You know that movie Sliding Doors? I keep thinking that my life split into two at that moment, and I chose to leave. I would have had another life had I stayed.
Maybe I would have fallen in love.
Maybe I would have been happy.
Maybe I would have stopped being so fucking scared all the time.
But the reason I left was because I was scared. Scared that being with him would fuck things up with his own family, that I’d further ruin the relationship between him and his brother and his stepfather.
Scared that I might get hurt.
“Here,” Elena says, holding a condom out for me. “Take it just in case. I know you don’t talk about Luciano much, but I saw the way you looked at each other last night. That man wants you. Two years doesn’t mean anything in his mind.”
I gulp, squeezing the condom in my palm.
I know she’s right. I saw the way he was looking at me too. I’d almost forgotten what it was like to be the subject of his gaze, to see the way lust glimmered in his eyes. It stirred up feelings that I had buried deep inside, only resurfacing when I was using my vibrator, or sometimes when I was sleeping with someone else. Hell, there had been a few times when I was having sex with Marco that I was fantasizing about Luciano, but there’s no way I’ll ever tell him that.
“You’re allowed to have fun, Ruby,” she says, giving my shoulder a squeeze. “You deserve it. Just try to keep it casual and no one will get hurt.”
No one will get hurt.
Even though I originally just wanted to meet him at a bar, not a restaurant, even though I was hesitant about calling this a date. But when he texted me this morning, telling me he wanted to take me out for dinner instead, I didn’t think twice. I said yes.
I slip the condom in my purse.
“Are you sure I look okay?” I ask her.
She peers at me. “Is your lipstick going to come off?”
I smack my lips together. “It’s longwear.”
“Then you’re good.”
I take in a deep breath, my lungs feeling tight, and then I tell Elena that I’ll be back later.
From the look on her face, I think she’s betting I won’t be alone.
I step outside of our hotel, shrugging my leather jacket on as I go. I know with my black jacket and combat boots, plus my dark hair, I look a little goth, but I don’t care.
The restaurant he picked is called Palácio Chiado, which is right around the corner from my hotel. I know he’s at a meeting right now and he’d just texted me to tell me that he’ll be a few minutes late and that he has a spot under his name.
I find the restaurant and go up the steps and between the pillars, gawking at the place as I step inside. Holy shit. This is the most opulent restaurant I’ve ever seen. I’m realizing now that Palácio isn’t said glibly, this is an actual goddamn palace.
Stunned, I give the hostess Luciano’s name and her face lights up.
“Of course,” she says. “Right this way.”
I feel like a celebrity as she leads me through the lounge area of velvet couches and chandeliers and past the long bar and then around the corner to a marble staircase. At the landing is a Christmas tree all lit-up, but my eyes are drawn upward, to the stained glass window behind it and the magnificent murals and frescoes on the ceiling.
Here the staircase splits in two, both of them leading to the top floor. I continue to follow the hostess, wishing I had my camera with me to capture everything. My shitty iPhone photos won’t do this justice.
She leads me into another room with a massive golden lion hanging from the ceiling, and then through to another room where there’s a large stately bar in the middle. She brings me to the corner at a small table for two and hands me the menus.
Wow. I should be reading the menu but I’m glancing around the place, marveling at the details in this room, and watching the other patrons. I have to say, it’s been a really long time since I went out to a nice restaurant. When you’re living like I do, you have to play it as safe as possible with your money, so Elena and I do a lot of cooking.
The waiter comes by, bringing a bottle of mineral water, and it isn’t until I’ve started looking at the menu that I see Luciano walk in the room.
Oh
