“Oh him…yeah, he works at the gas station with me. He just gave me a ride.” Once again I was avoiding her eyes, focusing on the cookies.
“I saw the way you looked over your shoulder at him. You like him, don’t you dear?”
I blushed when I smiled at her. I was expecting her to disapprove. Ghost wasn’t exactly her ‘ideal’ man for me.
“I think I do, but he doesn’t see me that way. I don’t think. I don’t know.”
“Well, you missed it when he looked at you too. After you’d already walked to the building’s door.”
I gulped, my throat felt dry.
“He waited till you were safely inside. He waited a few extra minutes till he was sure you were on your way up. He was concerned for you. He didn’t give you that bruise, did he?”
I shook my head vigorously.
“No he didn’t. He saved me from the man who did,” I replied. I didn’t want to offer up any more information and it seemed like she wasn’t going to ask. She had never been the type of person to pry into my private life and I was grateful for that.
“He’s a good man, Grandma,” I added.
“I wouldn’t have thought of a man like him for you, Mercy, but if he is a good man, then what’s stopping you?”
“Stopping me from what?”
“Diving in?”
“Grandma, it’s not that simple. He is…he’s not into the kind of relationship I want.”
“How do you know?” she insisted.
“I just know…I’ve gotten to know him and he is not the man I need.”
“So you two are just friends?” she asked.
I gulped because I didn’t want to admit it.
“Yes, just friends.”
I had to look away because I was sure my eyes were filling with tears. Ghost had been a part of my life for only a few days, but already it felt like I had known him a lifetime. He had changed my world, and was in the process of changing my future. I didn’t know what my future would have held if he wasn’t in it.
Grandma was still watching me as I ate one of the cookies.
“How is the gas station going?” she asked.
I couldn’t lie to her anymore.
“Grandma, I don’t work at the gas station anymore,” I said. She sighed but nodded.
“Yes, I thought so. You dropped out of school too?”
I tried holding back the tears. I thought she was so disappointed in me, even though she wasn’t actually saying the words.
“Yes, I have…I’m sorry. I needed to find a way to make more money to support us.”
I didn’t want to have to admit to what I was actually doing. Stripping and dancing in a strip club like Teasers was so out of the world that my grandmother belonged to. I really hoped she wouldn’t ask.
But she sighed and made a low wheezing sound that told me she was still in some pain.
“I’m going to get your meds for you,” I said and jumped up to go to the kitchen counter. I took the pills out of the bag and brought them over to her with a glass of water.
Grandma started taking them one by one. When she was done, she looked up at me with wide gray eyes. She was smiling. Hopefully, she was feeling better.
“Whatever you have decided to do, whatever path you are now on, Mercy, I am sure it is the right one for you. You will make the right choices.”
I knelt down in front of her and rested my head in her lap. She had no idea how good it felt to hear those words. I really needed them today because I didn’t know what I was doing. I had no confidence in my actions.
Grandma stroked my hair gently with her fingers, the way she used to when I was just a kid.
“And you are wrong about that man, Mercy. You are wrong about what he really wants,” she added.
I looked up at her and she was smiling again.
“I can feel it in these crackly old bones of mine, dear. He is the right man for you.”
And to be fair, my grandmother had never been wrong.
17
Ghost
I knew Mercy wanted to be free of me. Free of the MC and all the complications that had fallen into her lap ever since she’d joined Teasers. When I went to pick her up from her grandmother’s place, she had a look of detachment in her eyes. She wasn’t the same girl I’d had in my bed. In the shower. She was sad. Maybe she missed her old life?
I took her back to Fifth Element and the way she held onto me on the bike wasn’t with the same force as before. She had clearly changed her mind about everything. Changed her mind about me?
When she got off my bike and started walking toward the clubhouse, I stopped her.
“Mercy!”
She turned to me and there was tiredness in her eyes.
“How is your grandmother?”
“She’ll be fine now that she has her meds, so thank you for that.”
“You don’t need to keep thanking me for it. You’ve earned it and you’re going to earn more of it from now.”
“I haven’t actually agreed to the job yet. I haven’t decided yet,” she replied.
The muscles in my arms tightened. I hadn’t been expecting this. I thought she was a part of the team. I’d been ready to introduce her to the MC as…as what? My old lady? I clenched my jaws and took in a deep breath.
“So when will you decide? We need a new medic for the team and if you’re not up for the job, we’ll have to look for someone else.” That wasn’t really true, as we weren’t looking for a new medic, but I had to say something to her.
Mercy nodded and glanced back at the clubhouse.
“Thank you again, Ghost, for the opportunity and the offer. But I just…I don’t know if this lifestyle is for me.” She was staring at me with her big puppy eyes. What did she fuckin’ want from me? I wanted
