“Life is too short to worry about the small shit, you know?” His grin faltered. He fought to hold it, the battle between his emotions and his expression clearly evident.
“Rob? Are you okay?”
He dropped his head as he shook it. His shoulders began to shake. When I caught his quivering chin, I froze. “We lost one. Our first.”
I gasped and slapped my hand over my mouth. “The extraction?”
He squeezed his eyes shut. “The kid—God, he was just a kid—was so freaked out. He was so scared. He didn’t want to go, didn’t understand what was going on. I tried to talk to him.” He wiped at his eyes and inhaled sharply. “I tried to save him.”
Losing an elemental on an extraction was bad enough. The quad squad would be called in front of the Council to justify their actions. They’d be raked over the coals, maybe even publicly if the governing body felt it necessary to humiliate them to teach them a lesson. They’d lose their status as the top extraction squad at the academy. And, if found guilty of negligence, they could be sent to the elemental prison, Carcerem.
Losing a kid made all that even worse.
I pulled him into my arms and held him close. He tried to push away, but I wouldn’t let him. I combed my fingers through his dark hair, running my nails along his scalp the way he liked. Pushing my control to him, I felt when he accepted it.
“I love you,” he whispered into my ear and continued to hold me.
He’d been the first of the guys to drop the L word and never hesitated to repeat it. After the news of losing an elemental on an extraction, knowing how badly he needed to hear it, I had no problem saying it back. “I love you too.”
He pulled back and searched my eyes. That look of total devastation slowly faded. “You do?”
“I always have.”
He threw his arms around me and squeezed so tight, I coughed and was pretty sure he popped a rib. Still, I let him hold me as tight as he needed. This wasn’t about me, rib aside. My fire elemental had always worn his emotions on his sleeve, always been the first to react to the situation around us. He was also the first guy I’d ever fallen in love with.
“I’m sorry, Rob.” Leo’s apology reminded us we weren’t alone.
Rob ended our embrace and gave him a bro hug, slapping his back. “Thanks, man.”
“I’m going to leave you crazy kids to it.”
“You don’t have to go,” he protested. “I’m starving. Let’s grab some food.”
Leo bounced his gaze from Rob to me. “Nah, I think I’ll just head up to my room. Our girl hit her handler pretty hard with light tonight and shorted me out. Right now, I’d rather sleep than eat.”
“Please stay?” I begged. I didn’t want him to leave either. We were a team, a family. We were strongest together, and right now, we needed each other. “In fact, let’s find Clay and Bryan and have dinner together, just the five of us.”
He nodded as he pulled out his phone. “I’ll text them and have them meet us at the dining hall.”
“The smaller one on the other side of campus,” Rob clarified.
He looked at him as if he’d just stolen his crown of being the king of the obvious. “That’s the one we always go to.”
Great. Now I had two guys stating the obvious on a regular basis. I took each of their hands and pulled them toward the dining hall. “Come on. I want carbs. Lots and lots of carbs.”
By the time we walked into the dining hall, Bryan and Clay were already there, saving us a table. Good thing. It was crowded, too crowded for me to spend any Q time with my guys. I had the sudden urge to tell them everything. About the cut that wouldn’t heal and continued to spread an icy numbness from the source. About my fear the cold was the darkness trying to take over and turn me. I wanted to tell them all about what happened this morning with the Council. I wanted to tell them all about what happened tonight at lessons, about how Leo thought Spencer might be a leecher. I wanted to tell them everything.
But tonight couldn’t be about me. I’d tell them everything as soon as they had the chance to talk this out. Spencer wasn’t going anywhere. My guys needed me to be there for them. Tonight was about them, which meant I needed to get over myself and apologize for the way I’d been acting lately. It was going to be painful, but I needed to element up and put on my big-girl panties.
Pasting on my brightest smile, I wove through the crowd and made a beeline for them. Bryan spotted me and set his jaw, dropping his gaze to the table. Oh, yeah. He was still pissed at me, and he had every right to be. I didn’t slow as I leaned down and kissed him deep, dancing our tongues together in a slow, lazy waltz.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered against his lips before pulling back. “Are we good?”
He held my gaze, searching it. “Are you going to cut out on me like that again?”
“No,” I said and shook my head. “Never. That was a total dick move.” I didn’t go into the why behind me leaving last night. I would tell him, but not here in a crowded dining hall.
“You’re right. It was.” He wasn’t making this easy on me.
“Ease up, Bry.” Clay took my hand, drawing my attention. “You know, Montana, you cut out on me too. Where’s my apology kiss? Or, you know, apology whatever.” He waggled his eyebrows.
I laughed as the other guys groaned at yet another sexual reference from our air elemental. At least he seemed a little closer to normal now. “Where are my manners?” I leaned in
