I didn’t want to talk about my classes, or my roommate, or how the dorms hadn’t changed in twenty-plus years. I wanted to know why she’d disappeared. I deserved to know. “What happened to you?”
“What do you mean? I already told you.”
“No, Mom. You told me you hid out in Europe, probably eating bagels and drinking espresso or wine or whatever they drink in Europe. That sounds really rough. Meanwhile, I sometimes ate pancakes for dinner because Dad forgot to buy groceries. What happened? Why’d you leave? Really?”
She folded her hands on her lap and sighed. “You’re old enough to know the truth.”
I was old enough before she left. I kept that to myself and waited for her to explain.
“One week before your sixteenth birthday, the Council came to me and declared you the prophecy.”
“Me? Why?” I hadn’t even shown any signs of having elemental power back then.
“They claimed to sense something in you. What, they wouldn’t tell me. How, they wouldn’t tell me that either. They just insisted on taking you away. I couldn’t let them paint that kind of target on your back, so I made a trade.” She nailed me with an intense look. “My life for yours.”
I knew it. I fucking knew it. She’d disappeared because of me. Regardless of the reason, good or bad. Totally because of me. Guilt deflated my very existence. I stood and rubbed my palms against my uniform skirt, drying them and stalling for time to process the bomb she’d just dropped.
“You’re upset.”
Understatement of the goddamn year, Mom.
I whipped around. “You left because of me.”
“I left to protect you,” she corrected as she stood. “Katy, you have to understand. They were going to take you from me, declare you the prophecy. That would have been a death sentence for a fifteen-year-old who didn’t grow up in this world.”
“Instead, it was a death sentence for a fifteen-year-old’s mom who did, and it still didn’t stop them from declaring me the prophecy anyway.”
“Yeah, I’m not exactly happy about that. I battled the dark side over and over to protect this world. Every time I beat a dark elemental, another would pop up even more powerful than the last.”
I could relate to that one. Here I thought Alec was the grand poohbah of the dark elementals, when Spencer had more power with one hand tied behind his back, thanks to his ability as a leecher to steal other elementals’ powers. I had no idea how I was going to beat them now that they’d teamed up. If a third joined them, one even more powerful than Spencer, no way would I be able to defeat them.
“So when an exceptionally dark elemental challenged me, I let the Council believe I’d died fulfilling the prophecy and, in a way, they were right. My world as I knew it was no more. I couldn’t return home to you and Paul, or the Council would know I survived and force me to continue serving as the prophecy, fighting dark elemental after dark elemental, until one really did win.”
“Wait a second. I think I’m confused. If you lost, why didn’t the dark side take over? That’s the whole point of the prophecy, isn’t it?” And why I continued to put my life on the line each and every day. I didn’t want to live in a world of dystopian fantasy. I wanted to live my life, this life, in this world. I could live without all the dark elementals after my ass, but you couldn’t win them all.
“I didn’t lose. I let them believe I’d lost. That final battle changed everything. For me. For the dark elemental. I created a huge tornado that swallowed us both. We fought. God, how we fought. He was just about to overtake me with fire when I called earth and took him out with a giant rock. He teleported out, but I knew he’d never survive the head injury. So, I thought, why not disappear with him, let everyone believe we’d both died? I teleported out before I changed my mind. When the tornado lifted, we were both gone. Everyone had assumed we’d died.”
“Clearly you didn’t die, so chances are…”
“He didn’t die either.” She nodded. “I went into hiding, let everyone think I was dead, to protect you. And now I realize even that wasn’t enough.”
My knees gave out, and I melted onto the bed. I didn’t know whether to love her or hate her for her choice. Here I thought she’d died protecting our world, that she’d chosen the prophecy over me. In a way, that was exactly what she’d done. None of that crushed me as much as her being alive all these years and never letting me know.
“You could have told me. I wasn’t part of this world. I wouldn’t have said anything.”
She dropped her head and nodded reluctantly. “I know.”
“That’s it? No ‘I’m sorry for letting you think I was dead’ or ‘I should have never left’? No regrets at all?” Unbelievable. She just stood there, staring at the floor. “Say something.”
“What do you want me to say? I don’t regret it. Any of it. I sacrificed my freedom for you, for this world. It’s exactly how Cressida Clearwater fulfilled the original prophecy, and our world had peace for centuries.”
“No, she actually died. She sacrificed herself by becoming one with the academy. Her essence, combined with the protective wards, makes up the barrier that shields Clearwater from the dark elementals.” I stopped before revealing anything more. I didn’t know how much she already knew about Cressida and her ultimate gift to the elemental world.
“I thought I was doing the right thing.”
No, Mom. The right thing would have been to never leave. I inhaled sharply, biting back the emotions threatening to surface. “Then why’d you come back? Why not stay in
