Everything perfectly devised to help me avoid thinking about what happened in the barn. That kiss, those warm lips on mine, his presence nearly overpowering me in the best way possible, making me feel safe.
I have a feeling I’ll be thinking about this kiss when I’m eighty and in a home, barely remembering my own name.
Chapter Twelve
It’s been two days since Kade kissed me. It’s the middle of the afternoon and Kade is here to check on Whisky. But instead of behaving like the adult I’m supposed to be, I hide inside the house until I’m sure he’s gone. I’m tempted to use the storm raging outside as an excuse, but I’m still not over that unbelievably hot kiss, something I keep dreaming about, and I’m not sure I can face him right now with those thoughts on my mind. Not when I keep imagining him doing a lot more to me than just kiss me. The fact that he has a girlfriend never even crossed my mind in that moment.
I’m not this person. The girl who obsesses over a simple kiss, especially a kiss with someone’s boyfriend. I don’t poach. And I hate myself for what I let happen. I like Lauren, and I feel so bad I haven’t been back to the bakery. Even after seeing Gram yesterday, and yes, I’m allowed to call her that now. To my surprise, we’ve bonded over the last four weeks, mainly through documentaries and talking about serial killers, but also about some of my past.
I’ve let it slip in one of our many conversations how I wished everyone in this town would give me a chance and stop comparing me to the person the tabloids depicted. It’s like the whole town is waiting for me to turn into this ugly version of myself. Not understanding that isn’t me anymore.
Lauren and Gram are the only ones besides Lizzie and Wayne who try to get to know me. They take the time to talk to me instead of making snide comments and thinly veiled insults. Which is probably why I don’t venture into town all that often, and if I do, I only go to see either Gram or Lauren.
Yet here I am, sitting in my father’s living room, lusting after the boyfriend of one of the only people in this town giving me a fair chance. Maybe I haven’t changed as much as I’d like to think. I need to get over myself, forget that kiss, and concentrate on my health and career.
I don’t have time for distractions. Too much is at stake.
Despite my best efforts to banish the thought, the feel of Kade’s lips on mine comes to mind unwantedly.
For crying out loud. Get yourself together.
Just when I’m about to get up and find something to do to distract my mind from wandering, the front door opens, and I hear the soft thump of heavy boots hitting the hardwood flooring. I’m frozen in the comfortable wingback chair. I’m simultaneously hoping and dreading the person walking down the hall on stocking-clad feet is Kade. Lizzie and Wayne have gone to Bozeman for a few days to visit Lizzie’s parents; only Kade would walk into the house without knocking, just like he did when he and Lauren came over for that disastrous dinner weeks ago.
I hold my breath when he walks around the corner into the living room.
Kade stops in the doorway and stares at me. I fight the urge to touch my hair, knowing even though I’ve finally had time to touch up the lilac, I’m still not ready to meet the man with it tied in a messy bun. I wish just once he’d see me in more than sweatpants and a lazy hairdo, or sweaty after working with Lucifer.
“Hi,” I say, my voice cracking on the word.
His head tilts to the side, still studying me, when a slow smile starts to form. “Are you done avoiding me?”
His words shock me. I didn’t expect him to call me out on what I was doing. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I force out, trying to sound nonchalant and like I’m not lying through my teeth.
His eyes flickered with mirth, not believing my lie. “For the past month, you’ve been hovering every time I look at Whisky, getting irritated whenever I didn’t wait for you to be there. And yet, today you were nowhere to be seen.” He doesn’t wait for me to answer. “Since you’re sitting here perfectly healthy and gorgeous, the only explanation is you’re avoiding me.”
“I’m… uhm…” I stutter, no believable lie forthcoming.
“Look if this is about the kiss—” he starts, broaching the topic I’ve been avoiding for two full days.
“How’s Whisky?” I interrupt. I’m in no mood to relieve what happened between us. No need to be rejected all over again.
I can see my questions throws him, and he hesitates for a second. “Whisky? He’s fine, progressing well. Ornery as ever.”
“Okay, good.” I take a breath, admitting something I should have said a long time ago. “Thank you for constantly checking up on him. I appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome, Montana.” His eyes start to burn with an emotion I can’t quite place, but it warms me, and I can feel a flush creeping up my neck.
I stand, unconsciously smoothing down my sweatshirt, and try to remember my manners. “Do you want something to drink?”
“Sure, I could use some coffee.”
“Great.” I move around him, studiously avoiding his mesmerizing eyes, and walk into the kitchen.
I start
