I recognize now how silly those thoughts were. They love me, all of them, my flaws included. I let the warm feeling wash over me, relishing in the knowledge I have people in my life who will support me no matter what. Who are able to counteract the abuse my mother likes to inflict. Who’ll never let me down.
But despite knowing all of this, I’m still terrified to disappoint any of them.
What if I’m not the friend or daughter they need me to be? The thought paralyzes me. I don’t think I could survive losing any of them.
My thoughts turn to Kade.
I never thought I’d be in this situation again, wondering about the affection a man has for me. Hoping and praying for him to like me as much as I do him. Being that pathetic female. Not brave enough to ask because I’m too afraid of the answer.
But I wish with all my heart that this smart, talented, generous, and sexy man sees me for who I am, and not who I used to be.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Three weeks later…
“You got everything?” Kade asks me while he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. I relish in the contact of his skin on mine.
Over the past three weeks we’ve spent a lot of time together; I’ve become used to being around him. Relying on his strength whenever memories of my childhood were dredged up by seeing my mother’s name on my phone screen. I never picked up, but the scars and demons don’t just leave, even after you purge your soul from the secrets feeding them.
I’ve also fallen deeper in love with him. He has not only won Whisky over these past weeks, but he’s also taken care of my boy like no other. Kade wasn’t deterred by his cranky and testy behavior; instead he showed patience and understanding like few people before him.
Some people say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, some say through his dick, well, the way to mine is clearly by taking care of my horse—the most important part of my life.
“I’ll miss you,” I whisper and close my eyes, enjoying being here with him for a bit longer. And I will, miss him, and not just because of the pleasure he’s able to give me. But I’ll miss his compassion toward other people, the way he takes care of everyone around him—Gram, Lauren, me. The way he holds me while watching Netflix, his thumb unconsciously drawing patterns on my skin. Or how he brings me coffee in the morning, knowing I need it to wake up and be semi-human.
But most of all, I’ll miss the way his eyes change color whenever he looks at me, going from his normal blue-gray to a deep blue, like the ocean on a summer’s day, and the way seeing this makes me feel. I’ve never felt as cherished and accepted as when I’m with him.
“I’ll miss you too. But it’s just a week. We’ll call and text. We’ll have to get used to you being gone eventually.”
And for the first time since I started competing, I feel a twinge of regret over my profession and the travel it involves. “I know.” I move into him, hugging him and holding on tight. I listen to his heartbeat, slow and steady. Just like him.
“I love you,” the sentence escapes me in a low whisper. I stiffen in his arms, hoping he didn’t hear me while fear is coursing through my body. I’ve never said these words to anyone but Dakota, and she quite literally forced me to say them back. And the fact that I don’t know how Kade feels about me in return terrifies me.
What if he doesn’t love me and has just been passing the time?
“Princess, I—”
“Montana,” Bob’s booming voice interrupts whatever he was about to say. “We gotta go.”
I pull away and turn my back on Kade, glad for the interruption. “Coming,” I yell.
“Princess—”
“I have to go,” I interrupt.
I take a step to leave when his hand grips mine and pulls me back. I stumble with the sudden movement and fall into a hard body. Strong arms clamp around me, holding me tight. I’m trapped, unable to run away from the words I’m afraid are coming.
“I know you have a penchant for running away when you can’t control the outcome of a situation, but I’m not going to let you run from this. Not after hearing the words I’ve been waiting for.” I can feel his breath on the side of my neck before he kisses me just below the ear. “I love you too, baby.”
Silence engulfs us after the words leave his lips. I’m still processing, unable to believe I heard him correctly. “You sure?”
“Yes, I knew I loved you when I saw you protecting Dakota, even though she didn’t need it, and the way she reciprocated. People don’t elicit such unwavering loyalty unless they deserve it. I knew you were the woman for me from the beginning. It helped we’re so damn explosive in bed.” I can feel and hear his low chuckle against my sensitive skin. “I would have said it weeks ago, but I needed you to be the first one to say it. I knew you’d run if I said it first. You’d bury yourself so deep in denial I’d
