“That is a very big problem indeed.”
Trent looked around the tiny space he was kneeling in, growing more claustrophobic by the second. He could barely stretch his elbows out. “I should go,” he said, beginning to stand.
“Wait,” the priest commanded. “Don’t go. I know this isn’t easy, but God sent you to me for a reason. He wants to help you. Please.”
How do you know? Trent thought. Are you God?
But he knelt back down. “I don’t know what to think,” he finally said. “She’s spun my head around. And I’m pretty sure she’s no Christian. She might even look down on—” Us, he almost said. “—on religion.”
“Oh, dear—”
“Plus, I know she’s hiding something from me,” Trent interrupted. “It kills me that it might be something heinous … and that she doesn’t trust me enough to tell me.”
“She sounds very dangerous. Recall the Lord’s Prayer: ‘Lead us not into temptation, and deliver us from evil.’ It sounds like you need reminding of this verse.”
Trent shook his head, his voice rising. “But how can you say she’s evil when you don’t even know her? She’s also very sick. There isn’t much time, and I feel like every second I’m not with her is a waste!”
The priest’s voice grew stern. “If you feel you are incapable of doing your job in an ethical manner, you must resign and stay far away from her.”
“Then I’d have nothing left!”
“You certainly cannot have both. If you must continue with your job, then I urge you to direct the temptations of your flesh elsewhere, toward a woman who respects the Lord and her fellow man, a good Christian like I know you are in your heart. But if you let your base desire for this one woman overcome your ethical sensibilities, that is a very grave sin indeed.”
Trent raged silently; this was exactly what he had expected, and just what he didn’t want to hear.
“Recall, my son, James one verses two to five and twelve to fifteen. ‘Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love Him. Let no one say when he is tempted, ‘I am being tempted by God,’ for God cannot be tempted with evil, and He himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.’”
The priest’s words rushed past Trent’s ears and echoed around him in the small chamber.
“This verse should become second nature to you,” the priest went on, “a fallback for your troubled conscience. May the Lord’s grace guide you to eternal salvation.”
“Thank you, Father,” Trent mumbled.
The screen shut, and Trent rose, rubbing his sore knees. There was some truth in the priest’s advice: If he could make himself forget Arianna, he might still be able to get his life back. There was no better time and place to start.
* * *
He approached the first woman he saw leaving church that morning who looked to be around his age. She looked delicately breakable, like a ballerina in a snow globe. With the confidence of necessity, he strode toward her with a forced smile and introduced himself. When she smiled encouragingly, he took a chance and asked her out to brunch, and to his surprise, she accepted.
They started walking toward a restaurant up the block. Emma, whom he vaguely recalled having seen before, admitted that she had spotted him for the first time at a service several months earlier.
“Why didn’t you come say hello?” he asked.
She shrugged, smiling down at the sidewalk. “I don’t know. Fear, I guess.”
“Don’t tell me I’m that good looking,” he teased.
She blushed, and he got the distinct feeling that he had made her uncomfortable. At the restaurant, the hostess led them to a two-seater table by the window. Crystal wineglasses stood neatly next to silverware on a white tablecloth. A waitress came by and poured them champagne and water, and handed them two laminated menus.
“This is nice,” she remarked sadly, as if she were watching from the other side of the window.
He nodded, wondering if she were unaccustomed to luxury.
“So how come you don’t have any big plans today?” he asked.
“My family lives on the West Coast, and I couldn’t take off enough time from work to visit them.”
He groaned. “What do you do?”
“I’m a community outreach coordinator at a nonprofit. It’s a volunteer ministry that encourages inner city kids to embrace Christ.”
“Wow.” He eyed her with a new respect. “Must be a tough job.”
“It is.”
“So you must have to really love it to be able to get up and do that every day.”
“You would think.” She cradled her elbows against her body. The creases in her forehead were like dry ravines stretching to her hairline.
“What do you mean?”
“I hate my job. But that’s why it’s right for me.”
“Huh?”
“It’s a sacrifice,” she said, setting her elbows on the table. “I’m living my life to help others know God, just like Mother Teresa and Christ himself. My parents always said there were no better footsteps to follow.”
“Well, if it’s so honorable, then why don’t you like it?”
“Do you think anyone dreams of walking into Spanish Harlem for a living with nothing but a Bible and a prayer?”
“What did you dream of?” Trent asked quietly.
“I was going to be a Broadway star,” she said as the creases on her forehead deepened. “I was going to be Roxy in Chicago.”
He did not smile, for he knew the slightest lift of his lips would discredit her dream as naïve.
“I know what you’re thinking,” she said. “It’s so impossible. My parents thought so, too. But I was good. I even secretly went on an audition for the part once, ten years ago in college. I got called back, too.”
“You did? What happened?”
“I
