Suddenly, he leaps at me, and we’re back at it again. This time, there’s more laughter than grunts as we mess around in the empty conference room. After a few minutes, I sit up and rest my hands on my knees. “In all honesty, I want her to stay more than anything, but I can’t force it. If she wants to go, I’ll let her.”
He exhales hard, his eyes watching me. “I hear ya. I just wish you guys could figure it out, you know? You’re a better man when she’s near.” His words are barely above a whisper, and he gives me a small smile.
“I think so too.”
Fish reaches over and slaps me hard on the back. “Let’s get out of here. I’ve got a hot date with Chinese takeout,” he says as he jumps up.
He extends his hand to help me up, only to let me drop back the moment my weight was shifted. “Sucker!” he hollers as he turns and leaves the room, me sprawled out on the floor once more. The last thing I hear is my best friend’s laughter as he exits the building.
***
There’s an unusual car in my driveway when I get home. It’s an older model Buick, big and fancy like old people drive. When I get out of my truck, I notice it has California plates, yet isn’t someone I recognize in the neighborhood.
An uneasy feeling slides down my spine as I approach the front door, and I find myself moving a little faster. The front door is open, so I pull on the screen door and step inside my living room. Lena is on the couch, holding Oliver, with an older woman sitting in the rocker recliner. “Oh, Mack!” Lena says, carefully jumping up.
“Hey, everything okay?” I ask hesitantly, my eyes going from Lena to the woman. She’s well dressed in a blue pantsuit with a white ruffle top. Her hair is gray and cut in a no-nonsense bob at her ears, and she’s wearing subtle, yet professional makeup.
“Yes, yes, everything’s fine,” Lena quickly replies. “Mack, I’d like you to meet Mrs. Estelle Pearson. She was sent from the nanny service that was recommended to me,” she adds with a smile that appears slightly forced.
My breath catches in my throat as I take in her words. Nanny service? My heart thumps a hard beat in my chest as realization sets in. She’s really leaving. Lena’s interviewing her replacement.
I force a quick smile on my lips and turn to face the older woman. “Good afternoon. Lovely to meet you, Mrs. Pearson.”
“Pleasure, Mr. Cruz,” she replies, but doesn’t sit back down.
I glance at Lena as she says, “We were actually just wrapping up the interview. Mrs. Pearson would be an amazing asset to you, but she’s not a fan of traveling in a motorhome for several days at a time.”
Mrs. Pearson tsks. “Very true, dear. Maybe when I was younger, but not at my age. I’m sure the agency will pair you with the perfect nanny to care for your sweet little boy,” she says, stroking Oliver’s cheek before bidding us farewell and heading out the front door.
The moment her car pulls out of the driveway, I’m met with silence. Oliver makes a noise, which pulls me out of the weird funk I’m in. It’s a place of sadness and bitterness all rolled into one. So I push that aside and reach for my son. “Hey, little man,” I say, as I place a kiss to his chubby cheek. I keep my eyes on Oliver.
“So,” Lena starts, rocking back on her heels and trying to break the awkward silence. “I had three interviews today.”
When I look at her, it fucking hurts. Bad. She’s so damn beautiful, and she’s leaving. This time, it’s not me walking away. It’s her. Even though I’ve known all along it was probably coming to this, a part of me kept hoping, kept wishing, she’d change her mind and stay. Today just proves anything more isn’t meant to be.
And that fucking sucks.
I clear my throat. “That’s good.”
She wrings her hands together nervously. “Well, I did like one of the ladies. She’s married, but her husband would be okay with her doing some minor traveling. One girl looked twelve years old, even though her résumé said she was nineteen, and then you just met Mrs. Pearson. There’s one more coming Monday morning. She already had an appointment today.”
I nod in reply. “I think I’m going to take Oliver upstairs and get his diaper changed and ready for some dinner.” I don’t make eye contact as I walk away, heading up the stairs and leaving her behind in the living room.
It’s symbolic, isn’t it? I left her behind before and now she’s doing the exact same thing to me. Only this time, she’s not just walking away from me, but Oliver too.
***
I’m able to keep to myself much of the night. Lena senses the distance and goes for a long walk while I feed and bathe Oliver before bedtime. When his eyes grow too tired to stay open any longer, I carry him up to my room and place him in the bassinet. Soon, I’m going to have to transfer him to his crib, but not tonight. Tonight, I just kiss him on the forehead, waiting a few seconds for him to settle into sleep, and head out of the room, grabbing the monitor as I go.
Back downstairs, I head straight through the kitchen and out the back door. The night air is warm, the breeze nonexistent. In fact, after only a few seconds, I can feel my shirt stick to my back. I head over to our pop-up pool and slip my hand in the water. It’s warm, yet cools my skin. Next thing I know, I’m stripping out of my clothes, down to my boxer briefs, tossing the monitor on my
