She seems shocked and then embarrassed. She averts her eyes as I turn to my son and scoop him up from bed. He’s pissed as hell now, so I figure it’s time for a diaper change and bottle. “I’m soooo sorry,” she cries, covering her face with her hands.
“It’s…fine,” I bite, even though it really isn’t. I can’t worry about Alison coming into my room at night. This is the last thing I need to deal with right before a race. “Listen, I’m going to change him and make a bottle,” I add, positioning Oliver on my shoulder.
She steps toward the doorway. “I can make the bottle.”
“No,” I reply quickly, practically interrupting her. “No, thank you. I’ll get it. You can head back to your bed.”
Alison nods, but stops at the doorway. “Listen, Mack, I truly am sorry. I completely misunderstood what the guys were saying earlier. After Lena… I just thought that’s how you were,” she replies with a shrug, like I’m some playboy who fucks all of his nannies.
“I’m not,” I say, keeping my back to her. “Lena was…is different.”
“Please don’t fire me,” she whispers, the humiliation clear in her words.
I exhale and close my eyes for a second. Then, I set Oliver down on my bed and prepare to change his pants. “It’s fine, Alison, but please don’t come into my bedroom again.”
“I won’t. I promise,” she assures before adding, “Good night.”
And then she’s gone, leaving me alone with my pissed-off son and more questions than answers. I hear the flimsy door to the bunk shut, and suddenly I feel like I can actually breathe. I greedily suck in air and make quick work of a diaper change. Oliver reaches his hands up, as if he just wants me to hold him.
The moment I have a clean diaper on his butt, I cradle him to my chest. Quietly, I slip out of my room and make a bottle, grateful everything I need is readily available. When we get back to my room, I place him in my bed and curl up beside him. His mouth is open and ready, a little smile plays on my lips. He’s an eager one, that’s for sure.
I lie beside him, watching him eat. His eyes occasionally glance my way, and I swear there’s judgment. It’s like he knows I’m the reason she’s no longer here, with him, and suddenly, I wonder if I really did try hard enough. Could I have convinced her to stay, or was her dad right, and I just needed to step back and let her come to her decision on her own? From where I stand now, I’m thinking I was wrong to let her get in the car, but that’s the longing talking. Deep down, I know he’s right.
Even though I miss her so fucking much it hurts, I know letting her walk away was the right decision.
Now, I need to figure out how to make her realize where she truly belongs.
With us.
Chapter Twenty-One
Lena
I reach for the remote and sigh. I point it at the television, but don’t turn it on. Why am I doing this? To torture myself? Knowing they’ll grab as many shots of him as possible during the prerace?
Yes, to all of the above.
It’s been almost a week since I left Mack and Oliver, and my desire to see them, even through the television monitor, is too strong to ignore. When he left the first time, you couldn’t have paid me to turn on the TV. Now, it’s like my soul is calling for me to do it, to catch a glimpse of Mack before the race.
That’s why I turn on the television and find the channel of the race.
The announcer is interviewing Daniels. He’s wearing a cocky smirk and talking about being in the lead in points standing. He even refers to Mack, though not outright. “I know being the points leader is like having a big target on my back. Some drivers even go as far as to intentionally try to wreck me,” he says with a shrug. He turns his cocky grin to the camera and says, “And that’s not in their best interest.”
“He did not, jerkface!” I holler at the screen, sitting down with a huff on my couch. The second I drop, they cut to the next driver and discuss tonight’s race.
I find my foot tapping on the ground as I anxiously await my first glimpse at Mack in six long days, my hands wringing together in my lap. And then my breath catches as I spy him in the background. He’s talking to Coop and looks more amazing than I ever thought possible. He’s gorgeous and sexy as hell in his fire suit, and I can see why every woman in the world practically throws their panties at him.
When they finally get to Mack, I’m pretty sure I’m not even breathing. I wait, my heart in my throat, as they ask him a question about his qualifying laps. I don’t even pay attention to what he says. All I can do is watch his lips move and remember what that particular mouth felt like on my skin. A shiver slides down my spine.
I catch my first glimpse of Oliver just over Mack’s right shoulder, and my heart starts to sing. He’s wide awake and taking in everything around him. That’s also when I notice Alison. The baby is in her arms, her long, blonde hair down and in big beach-like waves. Her makeup is much darker than she used to wear, and her outfit is…umm, wow. She’s wearing a tight tank top, and I can already picture the image on the front because I’ve seen it before. It’s the same one Lindsay was wearing when she approached me at Mid-Ohio. I
