“Sorry but I better take this,” I say to Nash before I answer since she doesn’t usually call so late.
“Hey, Mom. Everything okay?” I ask, my voice shaky from whatever was happening on my sofa before she interrupted.
“No, everything is not okay!” she exclaims in my ear. “I just got a call from Lorraine who said you still haven’t RSVP’d to the wedding, and today was the deadline!”
“Oh, well, I’m not sure if I’m going or not,” I reply softly.
“But you have to, Lucy! Your only cousin wants you to be a backup bridesmaid. And I know you two have had your ups and downs, but there’s a baby on the way! It’s time for us to all put the past behind us and move on!”
“Easy for you to say,” I grumble.
“This is your chance to be the bigger person, sweetheart. Show them that you’re doing just fine even after everything that happened.”
“Fine, I’ll go,” I say, mostly just to get her off the phone and get back to Nash who I look over and find sitting up on the edge of the sofa like he’s getting ready to leave. “I’ll call you tomorrow, Mom. Goodnight.”
“Night, sweetie! I’m so glad you’ve agreed to come. Goodnight.”
After making sure the call is ended, I toss my phone on the counter.
“Everything okay?” Nash asks.
“Yep, just my mom telling me I have to go to my cousin’s wedding in a few weeks.”
“I hate weddings,” Nash grunts.
“I can’t say I’m real fond of them right now either,” I say when I go over and start to sit back down. Before I lower myself to the sofa, Nash says, “There’s one more person I need you to find. Do you mind?”
“No, of course not,” I say, even though I have a feeling who it is and wish he didn’t feel the need to go there. “Let me grab my computer. What’s the name?” I ask as I go retrieve the device from my bedroom.
“It’s…” Nash starts when I return. He abruptly stands up from the sofa and says, “You know what, forget it. Maybe another day.”
“Are you sure? I don’t mind,” I tell him.
“Nah, I, ah, I’m going to head back upstairs.”
“Okay,” I reply with my shoulders slumping with disappointment.
“See ya,” he says, taking the beer in his hand as he starts for the door. Faster than I can blink, he’s gone.
Chapter Ten
Nash
After the night I stupidly gave Lucy the names of all the men who were killed by the Aces, and I almost, pathetically, asked her to track down my ex-wife which would’ve ended in disaster, I considered never speaking to her again.
But then, the next morning, she showed up in my apartment and cooked pancakes for me and I changed my mind.
Sure, I could’ve told her to fuck off, regardless of what Malcolm had asked her to do.
I told myself that I needed to keep her around to make sure she didn’t become suspicious about the dead men and start digging into how they died in that fire. So, I let her come and go whenever she wanted.
In fact, over the next week, Lucy and I spend several hours a day hanging out binge watching several episodes of American Horror Story and eating lunch and dinner together most days. That meant I sometimes tagged along with her to the grocery store to help pick out the ingredients for our meals. The weight I lost from my two-week attempt at alcohol poisoning has started piling back on, and I’ve even found myself waking up earlier each day, even though Lucy never comes over before eleven. She seems to think I prefer to sleep in and doesn’t want to wake me.
Giving the families money has helped the most to take some of the guilty burden off my chest. Ten thousand doesn’t come close to making up for their lost loved one, but it’s better than sitting around drinking and doing nothing for them.
All in all, I’m finally starting to feel more like the man I was before the murders and the divorce papers, just so much hornier now that there’s usually an attractive woman sitting just at arm’s length away from me in my apartment. It would be so easy to cross that line, because I’m confident Lucy would be all in on getting naked together. I’m not an idiot. I’ve seen how she looks at me like I’m an ice cream cone she wants to lick when she thinks I’m not paying attention. Fucking her would be a much-needed stress reliever; but for whatever reason, I haven’t gone there. Maybe it’s because I’m still not ready to move on or that I’m worried once I remember how good sex feels I’ll be addicted and won’t be able to get enough. Fucking a girl on the regular is how relationships start. Throw in the fact that Lucy practically lives with me and that has the makings of getting too serious way too fast.
I just ended a marriage, so I definitely don’t want anything that even looks like another commitment. At the moment, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to stomach a long-term relationship again.
Still, I can’t deny that Lucy is fun to be around. Without even trying, she’s cute and sexy in an annoying yet irresistible way. And her always bubbly personality makes it impossible for me to sulk. Not that I want to as often lately. There’s something about the way she looks at me and treats me. When we’re together, it’s easy, comfortable, and familiar, like we’ve known each other for years.
But the bottom line is that Lucy and I are just friends, and I plan to keep it that way.
Probably.
No, definitely.
So what if I’ve been jerking off in the shower every night after she leaves? I’m a healthy man in my twenties. My libido is finally making its way back to normal, and it’s perfectly natural to think about the woman I spend most of my
