And honestly, I don’t know what I would’ve done without her the last few weeks. If she hadn’t forced her way into my life, I would probably still be passed out in my apartment drunk.
Still, there’s a lot of shit to think about, and I need time to wrap my head around everything before I can forgive her. Lucy, that is. There is no forgiving Ellie.
I’m still completely zoned out, lost in my thoughts sitting in one of the room chairs when Lucy finally comes out of the bathroom after the longest shower or bath in history. She goes over to the bed and removes one of the pillows, then tosses it down on the floor. After that, she grabs a blanket from the closet and says, “Sorry about everything. Good night.”
“Night,” I mutter half-heartedly.
Only when she disappears on the other side of the bed do I realize she was serious about sleeping on the floor and didn’t realize that I was just joking.
“Get up, Lucy,” I order her.
Her head pops up above the mattress. “What?”
“I’m not going to let you sleep on the floor all night.”
“You should have the bed. I’ll be fine down here,” she tells me before her head ducks back down.
The chance of me sleeping tonight is slim to none whether it’s in this chair or in the bed. There’s no point in her being uncomfortable, even if she does deserve it for lying to me.
“Lucy, get your ass in the bed!” I shout at her.
“No,” comes her quiet refusal.
Sighing, I get to my feet and trudge around the bed to her. Her hair is pulled back and her face is clean of makeup, making her look even younger and more innocent, even though I know it’s a bullshit illusion.
Bending down, I scoop her up in my arms, blanket and all, and then drop her on the mattress before retrieving her pillow, tossing it at her face.
“You shouldn’t have to sleep beside someone you hate,” she tells me softly, still hiding behind the pillow.
“I don’t hate you,” I reply, and it’s the truth. I could never hate her no matter what she did. I don’t even hate Ellie for hurting me, up and leaving without a word the same way my parents did. The most fucked-up part is that she knew how the shit from my past tore me up and still she did it anyway. Hate is too strong a word for her. I hated Ellie’s decision, her stupid ass choices. If she wasn’t happy with me, she should’ve just told me so before leaving, let me know it was over. Maybe she did in her own way and I just wasn’t paying attention. I never really thought the two of us would work out, not when Ellie was from a wealthy family and I was broke as fuck back then. The money I have now is mostly earned illegally, which I doubt she would have tolerated…
“Are you gonna sleep in the bed too?” Lucy asks, putting the pillow behind her head and watching me. I know if I don’t, my rejection will sting her badly.
“Yeah, I am,” I reply. My day has been too shitty to sleep in a chair or on the floor. May as well enjoy as many comforts as I can now before I lose them.
Once I remove my cut and shoes, I turn off the lights and climb in bed in my t-shirt and boxer briefs but keep every inch on my side, careful not to touch her. It’s not that I don’t want to. Even pissed a part of me would love to kiss Lucy and lose myself inside of her to forget about this fucked-up day and make shit okay between us. But being a suspect for murder and finally facing my ex-wife, who has moved on, has put a damper on everything.
That first one, the life prison sentence, is the main thing that has me keeping my hands to myself.
It wouldn’t be fair to Lucy to sleep with her this weekend, knowing I won’t see her again once we get back home. I hate it; but in the long run, Lucy will be glad she didn’t fuck a killer.
I stare at the dark ceiling for most of the night, thoughts racing in my head, trying to deal with one of my problems at a time.
And it finally hits me what I need to do first once the sun is up.
I have to confront Ellie, to finally get everything I want to say off my chest and hear what she has to say for herself.
With that plan in mind, I finally doze for a few hours before getting up and taking a quick shower. Lucy is still sound asleep when I creep out the door and take a walk around the resort.
Maybe it’s pure luck or maybe it was my hunch that Ellie is a control freak, but either way, from the hallway I can hear her barking orders at hotel staff before eight a.m. She’s standing and pointing in one of the ballrooms while worker bees hurry around her, putting table and chairs together. The white pantsuit she’s wearing hides her bump well and is no doubt expensive but stiff, making her look twice her age of almost thirty. It’s possible I’ve just grown accustomed to being around Lucy and prefer her bright colors and youthful exuberance.
Ellie doesn’t hear me or notice my approach, which is great because she won’t be able to run.
When I’m standing right behind her, I finally say, “You and I need to talk.”
Her shoulders tense up, but she doesn’t turn around or have to look at me because I can tell she still recognizes my voice. “Right now? I’m sort of busy here, Nash,” she replies with a scoff.
“Too bad. I am sick and fucking tired of waiting on you. So, either you can turn around and talk to me like a normal person, or I’ll shout what I
