For the length of the ride, we take turns passing one another, letting the other lead, and then racing each other when we have to stop at red lights. It reminds me so much of when we were kids.
More and more those times are getting further away in the memory bank. I’m closer to forty-five now than to fifteen. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but if I got my girl, my son, and my brothers, what else could I want? When we’re a mile from the clubhouse we stop messing around. It’s as if an automatic change takes place; we become more serious and like the leaders we are.
I can’t put my finger on when it started, but within the last year we’ve stopped having as much fun. Maybe because the pressure is getting to us more than it used to. Or maybe it’s because there’s so much at stake. There’s the possibility we’ve finally grown up too, something we’ve all avoided for way too long.
Pulling into the gravel drive, I breathe deeply, wondering where this new info is going to take us.
Mandy and Charity’s cars are parked next to Caelin’s bike, so at least we don’t have to worry about where they are.
“Well that takes out two birds with one stone.” Drew whistles as he gets off his bike, yanking off his gloves, and putting them in his back pocket.
We make a shit ton of noise as we bust through the front door.
“Son of a bitch.” Liam jumps up from the couch. “Y’all come through here like the fuckin’ police. Give an old man a heart attack, why don’t ya?”
I laugh. “Trust me, your ticker is just fine. You’re gonna outlive all of us, I’m sure of it.”
“What are you doing down here anyway?” Drew asks, giving Liam a sly look.
“My girls are here.” He points to Mandy and Charity.
His scowls. “Did you talk them into giving you a cigarette? You know you aren’t supposed to smoke.”
“No I didn’t talk them into giving me a cigarette, but that’s rich coming from you. I smell it on you.”
“And I’m not pushing the senior citizens discount.”
“Fuck you. Neither was I, when I was your age,” he retorts.
“Dad, I don’t have the time today.”
“Good for you, I do.”
“Jesus Christ.” Mandy rolls her eyes. “We brought him ice cream.”
“That’s even worse.” Drew puts his hands on his hips, staring the three of them down. “He’s supposed to be off dairy while they figure out what the fuck is making his knuckles swell.”
“Don’t talk about me like I’m not here. I’m very alive and well, thank you very much. I can still take this club back from you.”
“Hey.” Mandy stands in the middle. “We don’t need a pissing match right now.” She points to her and Charity. “We shouldn’t have brought him ice cream, but we were getting it, so it just didn’t seem fair.”
“Life isn’t fair,” Drew bites out.
“What’s your problem?”
Drew looks like he’s about to lose his mind. “Life isn’t infinite, Dad. You have something going on, and you’re acting like it’s nothing.”
I don’t think I’ve ever seen him be so serious.
Drew and I, we’ve known each other for a lot of years. There are a few things he doesn’t mess with, and family is right at the top of that list.
“I have enough shit to worry about, without having to worry about you.” He thrusts his fingers through his hair.
“Drew.” Charity gets up, grabbing him by the cut. “Come on, talk to me for a second.”
The three of us that are left look at each other in the awkward silence.
“Losing you,” Liam nods to Mandy, “it scared him.”
“He didn’t lose me,” she argues. “I might not have been next door, or down the road, but he always had me, if he woulda called.”
Liam leans forward, steepling his hands together. “I’m not gonna pretend like I know what you were going through. You’ve got your own demons, and it’s bad luck to make them mine. What I can tell you is I recognize a lot of you in him, and him in you. You’re the exact same, although you don’t want to be. You’re twins, you’ve gone through almost the same things in life.”
“That’s not true…”
He stops her from talking.
“Look, you don’t have to answer to me about what you went through at the rehab. But I can be honest with you, it takes a victim to know one, Mandy. The loneliness in your eyes, the abandonment, I saw it. Even when you were a little girl, I saw it.”
“Then why didn’t you help her?” I blurt out before I can stop myself.
This conversation should really be between the two of them, but they’ve involved me by doing it here in the open.
“It wasn’t my place to help her, she had to come to the conclusion on her own and get the help for herself. As evidenced by my eating ice cream today. We all have to make our own decisions and live with the consequences. Forcing someone to do something because it’s good for them doesn’t mean jack shit.”
I guess he’s right, but it still doesn’t make me happy.
“Are y’all gonna come see what I found?” Caelin yells from his office.
“Yeah,” Drew yells back at him, motioning for me to follow. Charity looks like her conversation with him didn’t go well, but at least he doesn’t have a death glare. I’ll take it.
We go into the office Caelin and Justice built when they decided to get rid of Steele’s cave. It’s brighter in here, much more like an office than it ever has
