“Ah-ah,” Thea interjected when she heard Lady Elizabeth choke back a gasp. “Mayhap ‘prigging’ isn’t the best term to use in this situation. Have you another descriptor?”
“His tiller doesn’t seek to venture into other pastures, aye? ’E’s content with planting fields close to home. ’Ow’s that?”
Though she thought perhaps Susan was getting her nautical ships, garden plots and masculine shafts confused, Thea didn’t have the heart to correct her, not again. “I think we can all agree that to be a correct assumption.”
“But how do I prevent pasture straying or his tiller drifting elsewhere?” Lady Elizabeth cried in a frustrated tone. “I’ve no notion at all. No understanding of what he expects of me. Especially when more experienced fields lie everywhere.”
“Don’t let that bother you none. ‘Experienced’ might just mean more practiced at falsifying whether he’s any good at it.”
“I don’t quite grasp your meaning.”
As though it were knowledge everyone possessed, Susan explained, “Pretending, Lady Wylde. Really good mistresses know how to feign it with conviction.”
“Feign what?”
“How much you’re enjoying their cock in your cu—”
“Susan!” Thea gave her head a sharp shake, indicating that particular language was well beyond the pale.
Nodding sagely, Susan corrected herself. “Enjoying their penis in your privates.” She glanced at Thea, gauging the suitability of her substitution.
Thea smiled her approval, barely masking a very unladylike laugh.
This was delightful. Horrible that Lady Elizabeth felt the need for such assistance, but a positive delight that Thea was, remarkably, in a position to provide education, even in a roundabout way.
And if she happened to benefit from today’s lesson? Well then, all the better.
“All right then,” Lady Elizabeth said decisively. “Teach me how to fake it. I shall endeavor to be the most convincing mistress in all of England!”
“Wait.” That plan troubled Thea. “Does this mean you don’t enjoy, ah…feeling Lord Wylde there?” she managed to ask without putting herself to too terrible a blush.
Lady Elizabeth’s gaze bounced around the room while she answered. “I thought I did. Enjoyed it, that is. Or at least I believe I was coming to but then— Well…”
When she trailed off and showed no signs of continuing, Susan took over. “Lady Wylde?”
Red as a cherry, Lady Elizabeth looked back at Susan. “Aye?”
“I believe mayhap we’re comin’ at this from the wrong side.”
“How do you mean?”
Susan thought for a moment. Then she toed off her slippers, brought her legs to the chair beneath her voluminous skirts and leaned forward, elbows to her knees. Looking anything but a mistress, she proposed, “Let’s start over with your expectations, shall we? With how you’re approachin’ his, ah…er, plowing.”
At her hesitant nod, Susan continued. “If you like his aspects, that helps.”
“His aspects?” Lady Elizabeth seemed as perplexed as Thea.
“Aye. His manly aspects, the ones beneath his breeches.” When that brought no response, Susan pierced Lady Elizabeth with a blunt look. “Do you like the way ’e looks naked?”
Oh, yes, Thea couldn’t help but think the answer, picturing Lord Tremayne.
“I, ahm…I…” Lady Elizabeth was having more difficulty it seemed.
“You have seen him in the buff, haven’t you?” Susan persisted.
“I’ve—I’ve seen parts of him without clothing.”
“Parts, eh? The parts you’ve seen, then.” Susan was starting to sound exasperated. “’E’s your husband and all you’ve seen are parts? Never mind, tell me—when you consider his various naked parts, do you find you want to see more?”
Every time we’re together.
Lady Elizabeth’s answer was to turn scarlet. And not say a word.
“His face,” Susan said patiently, trying another tack, “do you like his face?”
Very much.
“Very much so.”
Thea smiled.
“That’s real good. How about I make it easy,” Susan suggested, “give you a short list of things to work on?”
“That sounds grand. Proceed.”
Ticking them off on her fingers, Susan began with gusto. “One, you cannot be afraid to show ’im what you like. Two—”
“But how?” Lady Elizabeth interrupted.
“By touchin’ yourself while he watches.” Susan admirably ignored the strangling sounds coming from the couch. “There’s other ways but that’s the easiest. Two, if it feels good, ’ave—have—fun with it. You ain’t hurting nobody and who cares what the law says?”
The law?
“Three, make sure you…”
In the end, the Dreaded Speech was a near disaster but not a total one. Not from Daniel’s viewpoint.
Penry never made it. Daniel found out later another marriage proposal for his second eldest, which resulted in jealous sisters and an elated and effusively talkative wife, delayed him. That and an untimely carriage-wheel mishap conspired to keep him far away from the committee meeting. By the time he finally showed, everyone else had gone home.
Wylde, on the other hand, at least put in an appearance. Pity it was half an hour too late.
The votes had already been tallied, the buffoon arses on the other side of the table unwilling to wait or reschedule before moving for a vote, with his brother-in-law’s side coming up three short. So even had both men been present, Wylde still would have gone home disappointed. Although “disappointed” wasn’t quite how the man looked… Daniel couldn’t tell if that was bashfulness or brazenness filling his friend’s distracted gaze, but something was definitely off. Given how intently the man had lobbied for a different outcome, his lack of anger over the result made less sense than a goat with two heads.
As for Daniel’s mouth, it stammered and muttered through, hampered by the absence of its two promised and most stalwart supporters, but hearkened by his own revelation: he really didn’t give a damn what these men thought about him.
In the last couple of days, he’d realized only the opinions of those he truly valued meant a whit. Wylde, Penry, Ellie of course. Thea (went without saying). Even Everson and Tom—possibly especially these two—had all conspired to bring the truth home: he couldn’t change what was. He couldn’t control how others responded or viewed him. But he could choose his friends and how he dealt with them.
He could focus his efforts on spending more time with those he liked and respected, and his energies in
