Who knew he and Tara would have such a thing in common? When training ends, he’ll find the time to tell her before heading out to jump fires.
He glanced at her again in the mirror. She didn’t look happy.
Shit. He hadn’t meant to ruin her day. Why hadn’t he just congratulated her and left it alone? He blew out air and leaned back, flipping through the pack test results. Three washouts, all males. He’ll finalize the crew lists and announce them before field exercises this afternoon.
His stomach knotted and his chest felt heavy. He had to make it right with Tara.
If she would let him.
Chapter 13
After lunch, Tara left the mess hall and strolled back to the AFS building. Her heart pounded, but for the wrong reason; Ryan pissed her off big-time.
Her leg and back muscles ached after this morning’s fitness test. Ryan’s reaction threw her off-kilter. Not what she’d expected. Instead of congratulating her, he thought she needed counseling. What the hell?
She called to Angela, walking ahead of her, water bottle in hand. “Divina, how are you feeling?”
Angela stopped and turned around. “Who doesn’t feel like a million after a delectable saline drip?” The pink had returned to her cheeks and she’d fixed her hair in a messy ponytail bun, same as Tara’s. She still looked tired, but healthier.
Tara scrutinized her. “You look a darn sight better than this morning.”
“Why didn’t I go be a baby panda bear trainer instead?”
“Maybe because there’s no hot-guy baby panda trainers.” Tara thought a minute. “Are you sure you didn’t put the extra weight in your pack?”
“I swear I didn’t and neither did Gunnar. Someone else must have.”
“Rego and Hanson had been standing by your pack, you know.”
Angela drew back, her mouth open. “You think they did it?”
“I wouldn’t put it past them. But we need to find out for sure.”
“Ryan told Gunnar to retest me after training tomorrow. What about you?”
“I re-tested after you left.” Tara shot her a broad smile. “I broke my record.”
“How?”
“I added twenty pounds and came in under forty-five minutes.” Tara fiddled with her hardhat.
“I couldn’t finish because of extra weight and you added more intentionally?” Angela stopped to look at her. “If you’d failed, you would have been thrown out. What did Ryan say?”
“That I jeopardized myself and did it to punish myself for not saving the man in the Montana fire. He keeps bugging me to get counseling.” Tara stared at the ground. She didn’t feel like telling her the other reasons she was out of sorts with Ryan, after she’d lectured Angela about getting involved with people on the job.
“Were you punishing yourself?” prodded Angela.
“Yeah, I’m a total masochist. I flog myself before bed every night.” Tara laughed.
“For the love of Dixie.” Angela pursed her lips. “Judging by your nightmares, I reckon he may be right. You took a dumb risk and could have hurt yourself.”
A tinge of regret lanced Tara. She never thought it would be such a big deal.
Angela stared at her a long while. “Remember when I said it wasn’t your responsibility to save every person from a fire and how guilt makes us feel useless? Don’t hate me, but I’m with Ryan. You should talk to a shrink.”
Tara let out a sigh. “There’s no time right now. I’ll do it after fire season,” she mumbled, stopping near the open doors of the training room.
“So, in the meantime eat a pint of cookie dough ice cream or a container of fudge frosting like everyone else. Stop being a steel magnolia. You don’t want to melt down on the fireline, okay?”
Tara grimaced. “Don’t worry. I won't melt down.”
They wandered inside as the room filled with people and fire gear.
Ryan and Gunnar entered and moved to the front. Ryan studied his paperwork, avoiding eye contact with her.
“Hey Tara, impressive job on the pack test!” belted one of the Chena Hotshots from across the room. He and his buddies gave her air high-fives. “Way to smoke it!”
“Fastest time. Awesome,” another guy with a headband chimed in. “We have an open slot on the crew, if you’re interested.”
Tara noticed Ryan flick his eyes at the guy than back to his paperwork.
“Word travels fast,” whispered Tara. It tickled her how others had recognized her accomplishment. She hadn’t considered working on an Alaskan hotshot crew…the last thing she wanted was to stay in Alaska.
“A fast woman turns guys on,” breathed Angela. “I know whose knickers are in a twist. A certain smokejumper swiveled his radar when you got all that attention just now.” Angela tilted her head toward Ryan at the front of the room.
Tara gave her an eyeroll. “You’re reading too much into it.”
Angela’s eyes narrowed. “Okay, then. Stay in denial world. Hope you’re happy there.”
Ryan interrupted with announcements. “Listen up. Here’s your crew assignments. Find the one you’re on and get with your crew boss outside. All three crews will have joint field training today and tomorrow.”
Gunnar spread the lists across a table in the front of the room as Tara and Angela scrambled forward. “Here we are.” Angela pointed. “We’re assigned to the Aurora Crew.”
Tara scanned for more names. “Liz Skowran, yes!””
“We’re on the same crew!” crowed Liz. “We’re going to rock this.” She high-fived Angela and Tara.
“Good. We have Liz. Are we it for women on Aurora Crew?” Tara scanned the list.
Angela ran her forefinger down the list. “Not unless Robin and Payson are women. The rest must be assigned to other crews.”
Tara ambled outside to a long box van, where the driver held a scrawled sign, “Aurora Crew.” Hopping inside, the three women sat in the last bench seat of the twenty-person transport vehicle.
Liz glanced around. “Looks like it’s just us chickens.”
“Howdy, ladies.” A fetching, dark-haired guy with ‘Silva’ printed above his shirt pocket stood grinning down at Tara. His longer hair feathered back from a pronounced widow’s peak over brown eyes with thick lashes. He sat a few rows ahead, draping his arm across
