A little high on champagne, given how rarely I got to drink, I sought out a quiet corner after the main courses had been served. Celeste was the one to join me.
“Having fun?” she asked. “When’s the last time you stayed this late at one of these things?”
“You say that like I’m not a famous party animal,” I teased her. “I remember us almost creating a scandal at the French Open dinner a few years back.”
“That was too much champagne at work. In danger of that tonight?”
I shook my head. “Being sensible. Are you enjoying being gracious in defeat? Or are people avoiding you? I hate when they just do the pitying looks from afar.”
“No, you hate losing,” Celeste corrected with an easy smile. “Mostly compliments on a well-fought match. Could be worse.”
I was pleased to see her, and Celeste had become a good friend in the way that only lesbian exes seem to manage, but the restlessness wouldn’t leave me. I watched for every flash of bright colour in case it was Toni in her yellow dress.
“Mmm,” I said to whatever Celeste continued with after that. It earned me a jab in the ribs.
“Distracted, much? Elin, are you seeing someone?”
“No,” I answered, and it had the benefit of being the truth.
“Is there someone you wish you were seeing?” Celeste had never been a fan of my divided attention, and the end of our relationship had coincided with my most sustained period of consecutive wins. We didn’t stand a chance in the face of that. “Only, I thought yesterday that you were… I don’t know. Reminding me that married life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be?”
“What?” Now she had my attention. Celeste being open about her feelings was an unusual event. Eclipse levels of unusual. I heard that softness in her voice, and suddenly I wondered what I had missed.
“Nothing, it’s just I’ve been thinking lately that we were good together. When it was good. Amy made all these promises that the travel wasn’t a problem, that she’d come to as many tournaments as she could, and yeah, not so much in practice. I thought we’d get a few good years at least.”
I reached for her hand as I struggled to find words, but she pulled hers away. Just like that, the walls went right back up.
“I know it’s not my business, but you can always talk to me. You know that, right?”
“It’s nothing, honestly. Forget I said anything.”
“Celeste, it doesn’t sound like nothing. I don’t really know Amy, but maybe talking it out would help?”
“It’s fine, Elin. I’ll deal with it. Don’t you dare pity me either. You didn’t pity me when you whooped my ass on court yesterday, so don’t do it over this. I’ll be over it with a long run and a hot shower. And glad I didn’t jeopardise my marriage for old time’s sake.”
“Nice to know, I guess?”
“Well, your ego really needed the help.”
That time we both laughed, breaking some of the sudden tension. She gave me a casual, one-armed hug and leaned in to say one more thing. “Seriously, it’s not going to be me, but whoever has your attention tonight… At least give her a chance? You do actually deserve to be happy, hon. A racquet and a bunch of trophies aren’t going to keep you warm at night.”
“No, but that’s why I have blankets.” I tried to crack the joke, but my heart wasn’t in it. “And it’s nothing, honestly. Just a pretty face turning my head for a moment. In two weeks, I’ll be in Silicon Valley and I won’t even remember I was distracted.”
“You’re playing that one?” Celeste seemed surprised. “I thought you were keeping it to a minimum outside of the slams.”
“I have to make my quota,” I reminded her, the unspoken part being to keep my world number-one ranking. “And I owe someone a favour. Then it’s Cincinnati and the US Open. A few weeks of all things American.”
“You do like some American things, it’s true,” Celeste said with a sigh. “Just not the right ones and—”
“Elin?” Suddenly Toni was there, and I hadn’t even seen her approach. “I just wanted to say I have to go.”
Damn if I didn’t spring up from that comfortable velvet couch like it had caught fire. I spilled the remnants of my champagne in the process, though it avoided the silk of my dress. “So soon? I got caught up and abandoned you completely, I’m sorry.”
“No problem, I did some wandering, and I know plenty of people here. In fact, we’re going on to a club now, if you wanted to join us?”
Celeste’s snort at the idea almost goaded me into doing it, but my true nature won out in the end. The heels were pinching, my mouth kept getting dry from talking five times as much as usual, and the early signs of a headache were starting to tickle behind my eyes. I smiled at Toni and led her across the room to the main exit.
“No, sorry. I think I’m all partied out for one weekend,” I said, hoping she’d suddenly change her mind and stay now that she had my attention.
Maybe Celeste had a point about my damn ego.
“Going anywhere nice?” I asked.
“Some place where the trust fund kids and a couple of princes like to go, apparently.” She rolled her eyes as she said it. “But I’m flying out tomorrow, so it’s good to finish on a high note, right?”
“When do our paths cross again? Cincinnati?”
She shook her head. “Missed the rankings cut-off for that. I’ll be in Toronto, mostly because they invited me. First though, a week at home.”
“Me too. Well, both homes. We’re going to Stockholm for a few days then on
