“Why change your tune now?” Alice was right to be suspicious. In a way, I did have selfish intentions.
We’d never looked less alike. She had her hair dyed a coppery red and cut into a short, flicked-up style. I’d never tried anything so stylish. While I was quite happy in my jeans and a simple white shirt, she looked flawless in a pinstriped jumpsuit and heels.
“I’m tired of being so careful,” I said. “Of missing out on meeting great women because everyone assumes I’m straight. Of watching my pronouns and never confirming anything. I can’t tell you the last time I went on a proper date. I…I want that to change.”
“Good. Now who’s the little floozy who’s finally turned your head?”
“Alice!”
“No wait, I know. It’s that hot one who called you a goddess. Then you beat her and… I don’t think I know what happened after that?”
She flagged down the waiter and ordered a fresh coffee. I added an iced tea for myself.
“Well, if you hadn’t been sulking with me, you’d know we went to Mexico together, stayed with her family.”
“Elin, that’s so not like you.”
I watched a couple outside on the sidewalk, arguing about something as their happy little dog bounced around their legs.
“It wasn’t… It took me the whole trip to find out she’s not totally straight. Then it all got messy because her coach tried to poach me as a client. For a while there, nobody would talk to me. Including you.”
Alice folded her arms over her chest. Fine, so I’d deserved it in her case.
“Anyway, it’s not just about chasing some girl. I spoke to Mamma about retiring, for real. That’s why I’m not playing so much this year; I’m putting all my focus on the slams. Injury permitting, I’ll play until I break the record. Then I’ll bow out, see what comes next.”
“What does come next? No way you’re going to make small talk in the commentary box like the other ex-pros.”
“You’ve got me there,” I said. “I haven’t ironed out all the details yet, but I’d like to start my own charity, maybe a foundation. And while there are a hundred causes that could use my help, I thought it was about time I gave back to my community. As you would say.”
“What would that look like?” Alice leaned in, intrigued.
“Building on the smaller projects you work with—helping with homelessness, bullying, making sure schools teach healthy things about our sexualities and genders. But maybe more, globally. Lobbying governments where it’s still illegal, helping with asylum for queer people from those countries… I don’t know how big we can go, but I’d like to try. You’re always complaining about Corporate Gay and how the biggest organisations sell out and settle for the minimum. What if we could do more?”
“We?”
“I know you have a career, but you also care about this stuff. Maybe you could consult, share some contacts? Totally up to you.”
“Well, well. I never thought I’d see the day, but here we are. Elin Larsson is ready to change the world. You might even get the L, B, T, and Q on equal billing if you carry on like this.” Alice leaned the rest of the way over the table and pulled me into a hug, not letting go until our drinks arrived.
“See? That sounds like a project. And maybe we can make it easier and safer, so that nobody has to wait until their thirties to come out. Unless they want to.”
“Or until they meet some pretty Mexican chick and can’t contain the gay any longer,” Alice teased. “If you’re playing less, does that mean even fewer chances to stammer at her and not ask her out?”
I finally had something to surprise my sister with. “I’m actually going down for the Mexican Open in a week or so. Not playing, just to cheer her on. And if, uh, people ask me when I’m there, then I’m going to tell them that’s why. She invited me, so maybe it’s time I took the next step. Right?”
Alice smiled as she blew on her coffee. “Go get her.”
“Not, like, right now. Weren’t you listening when I said in a week?”
“At least that gives us time to teach you how to flirt. I’ll bring in my best people.”
The offer was a good one, but I’d already made up my mind. “Nope. No tricks, no smooth moves, no borrowing from cheesy movies. Just me, as I am. And if she’s interested in that, great. If not? Actually, I can’t think about not. I get queasy.”
“Oh yeah, there’s our Romeo,” Alice said with a snicker. “Please tell me there’s a way to get this whole disaster on video.”
Chapter Eighteen
“I can’t believe you came!” Toni greeted me as if we hadn’t seen each other in a decade, when in reality it had barely been three weeks. It seemed like a promising sign when she hugged me so tightly I felt like we were skydivers who’d just jumped out of a plane together. Actually, we were still standing in the lobby of her hotel in Acapulco.
“Mexico and California aren’t really that far apart, you know. At least compared to the air miles we rack up every year.”
I’d let Alice pick my outfit, and she had me in skinny ripped jeans, acid washed within an inch of their structural integrity, topped off with a low-cut white V-neck tee that felt sort of translucent, and a tailored white blazer that I did really like. I didn’t usually bother with jewellery at tournaments—one more thing to stash in the locker and risk losing somehow—but since I didn’t have to change and play, I had opted for some long necklaces that Alice insisted set off the whole look. Mostly, I felt like there was a giant clock ticking until someone spilled something on me. I was basically a walking stain magnet.
“Still, you’re taking time off. And this isn’t a tournament you usually bother with.” Toni was
