“So you were aware at a young age that addiction could kill you but you still did drugs.”
“There’s no logic in it. I’m not as intelligent as I seem.”
“You and I both know that’s not true. You’re highly intelligent. You play multiple instruments. You write music. You have also made a lot of lucrative business deals for yourself without having any parental influence.”
“I didn’t really have parents.”
“Your aunt.”
“She was my ward for a bit.”
“Then you emancipated yourself at sixteen. Why?”
“I needed to make my own decisions. I didn’t trust my aunt’s new partner. It’s difficult for me to trust new people.”
“Have you ever thought that your addiction problems were hereditary?”
“I see what you’re getting at. My father was an addict so I’m an addict.”
“That’s a possibility.”
“My father wasn’t always a drunk. He gave up after my mother died. I just went on with my life and he fell completely apart. His life was in shambles. It feels like he loved her more than me.”
“There isn’t a competition for her love. He was her husband and you are her son. It’s completely different.”
“I hated him because I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t snap out of it.”
“Everyone handles grief differently. His grief consumed him while yours— what did your grief do?”
“I wanted to make my mum proud. I didn’t want to waste away after she put all this sodding effort into me. All the piano lessons, guitar lessons, and singing lessons, she didn’t believe in wasted talent. She believed in me, her son.”
“Do you think that she is the only person that believed in you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Do you miss her?”
“Of course I do. I’m twenty and I don’t have a mum.”
“So there is a void?”
“I don’t know if there’s a void. She never got to see me on stage, the real stage as a proper musician. She didn’t see my first feature film.”
The therapy hour was draining. I left mentally knackered. I had become accustomed to it. I was used to talking but not necessarily talking about myself. The bike ride to Sweet Treats helped to clear my head of all the rubbish that was mentioned in the session.
Galena was beautiful in its way. I liked the lights in the big cities. In the states, Las Vegas was one of my favorites. I could see myself in the penthouse suite of some Vegas hotel overlooking the strip with Kat in bed next to me. I could dream.
I’d never had a problem getting any lady I wanted. But Kat was going to be tough. I didn’t think she was attracted to me at all. I couldn’t be sure. She was hard to read. I knew my flirty lines and swagger wouldn’t work on her. She was special. She didn’t know Jagger. She only knew Jason. I was very committed to playing the role of Jason but it was far from an Oscar-winning performance. I called Illinois, Illinoisss. What an idiot.
Chapter 6
KATRINA
After three profitable weeks, manning the store wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I was able to edit five books for my publishing company. All of the manuscripts were Young Adult novels in different genres. I was most comfortable with YA because the romance was limited to PG-13 or there was no romance at all. My lack of a love life made it impossible to read any sappy romance novels. I wasn’t interested at all.
I had a feeling I was going to fall behind schedule but this fresh air and clean living were just what I needed to stay on track. So far my real job wasn’t in jeopardy because of Sweet Treats. It seemed that I didn’t have anything to worry about.
I had to give credit where it was due. My saving grace was my eager and willing employee. Jason stayed until closing almost every night. He swept the floors and took out the garbage. Every evening I watched him hop on his bike and pedal away. He was a godsend. He never complained or was late. He was really like Superman in the store.
I always locked the doors of the store after he left. He always reminded me to set the alarm. I appreciated Jason’s ability to stay until closing. Being alone at the store at night would’ve had me a little spooked. His presence gave me one less thing to worry about.
Galena was probably one of the safest towns in America but sometimes it was nice to have a man around. I felt safe when I was married to Erik. Then less safe after he started staying out at all times of the night. After the divorce, I didn’t feel safe at all.
Things changed in my marriage when Erik stopped coming home at night. He was so disrespectful. He didn’t give a damn about the union we shared or the family we created. I didn’t have time for that level of hurt in my life anymore. Sometimes I would wonder what I could’ve done differently. What could I have done to make the marriage work? It took me a long time to recognize there wasn’t anything I could do. I had to let it go.
After three weeks operating Sweet Treats and no hiccups, I woke and glanced at my cell phone. Shit! It was ten-thirty-two. The store opened at ten. Panic! I was late opening the store. I’d overslept. It had to be because I took allergy medicine last night. I didn’t have the non-drowsy and the pharmacy was closed that late. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I was never irresponsible.
I looked at my cell again. I didn’t have any missed calls from Jason. I knew he’d gone back home after I didn’t open the back door for him.
I jumped out of bed and rushed into the bathroom. I had to shower, brush my teeth and get dressed. I had to open the store and call Jason to apologize. I
