I hurriedly left Robert in search of at least one of my parents. I needed to make sure my daddy’s sugar was okay. I had to give him a weekly lecture. I had to make sure he was taking his insulin shots. He was stubborn and he was always worrying the hell out of my mother. I had to do what Cherise did when she was here. That was paying the bills and making sure my parents stayed happy and healthy. I loved seeing my folks on the regular. My father was funny and my mother was the sweetest woman ever.
I entered the kitchen and the first person I saw was my old boyfriend from high school, Nelson Deener. So this was the surprise. Jesus, Joseph, and Mary J. Blige. I wasn’t ready for this reunion. There was nothing wrong with Nelson but I wish I had a heads-up. I didn’t know this man anymore. I only knew the boy Nelson. After I went away to college we barely kept in touch. More accurately I didn’t keep in touch with him. He couldn’t have thought we were going to stay a couple after I went away. So we drifted apart without a real breakup.
“Oh here’s my baby.” My mother noticed me. She sprung from her chair at the table where she was peeling potatoes.
“Hey, Ma.” I meet her halfway and gave her a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Where’s Daddy?”
“He’s around here somewhere. He’s not watching TV with Robert? “
“No, he’s not in there.”
“Look at who stopped by for a visit.”
“Who?” I joked.
“You know who.” My mother went back to her chair.
“Hey, Nelson.”
“Katrina.” Nelson was smiling at me and approaching. I knew I was supposed to hug him but I didn’t want to.
He went in to embrace me and I let it happen. It felt awkward. I wasn’t sure why. We’d done much more than embrace in the past. I hadn’t seen him in years. The last time I saw him was at his father’s funeral and that had to be about twelve years ago.
“Nelson, what are you doing here?” I was trying to act stupid. I was trying to act like I didn’t know my mother had set this whole meeting up. I knew he hadn’t just dropped by.
“I, ah— ”
Mama Sweets interjected. “He comes by and visits me from time to time.”
“I took your mama to church today.”
“Nice,” I said but that was hours ago so I’m not a fool.
“I take her sometimes.”
“Really?” I feigned a smile.
I didn’t know Nelson was my mother’s own private Uber service. It was a clear indication of how far removed I was from the comings and goings of the Galena townspeople.
“He sure did. Ya’ know he takes me to church sometimes when your father is too tired. Your father wasn’t feeling well this morning. I wish you could come to church with me.”
“I have to work at the shop everyday Ma.” Plus that church wasn’t progressive enough for me.
“I know, I know. But didn’t you hire a worker? He can watch the place for a few hours while you go to church.”
“I don’t know him well Ma. I don’t trust him there alone.” That was a lie. I trusted Jason. He had proven himself by opening the shop for me while I was in my deep allergy medicine sleep. He’d also proven he was a great kisser. I’m still trying to block that out.
Why would Nelson have to drive my mother anywhere when my brother doesn’t have a job? This nonsense was beyond me?
I had a nice visit with my parents but all my visits were pleasant. I was by all accounts the favorite child. I was the educated one that moved away to the big city. I moved to the big suburb but my parents didn’t distinguish between the two.
My mother made sure I got some alone time with Nelson. We had to play catch up and there was just too much to catch up on. I laughed a lot while we reminisced on the old times. Nelson made sure to remind me that he was my first. It was true. I hadn’t forgotten. It was just something I didn’t think about all these years later.
Nelson was divorced. He married some girl that we went to high school with. After he told me her name I didn’t recall her. When he described her I still didn’t remember her. He said we should keep in touch. I didn’t know what that meant. After dinner with Nelson and my parents, I drove home.
I relaxed with a hot bubble bath and a very fine bottle of chardonnay. I was alone and I didn’t know why it felt different this time then all of the other times I was by myself. I guess I just wasn’t used to being home alone.
JAGGER
Sunday was the only day in the week I had of freedom. By freedom, I meant I didn’t have to go to therapy and talk about my blubbering feelings. Sunday was the day that I wrote music, played my guitar and created things related to future recording projects. I had been experiencing an incredible amount of inspiration while being here.
Many factors contributed to my surge of creativeness. I was completely smitten with Kat and she was a huge part, if not the single part of my creativity. She was my muse, my precious gem, my exquisite Faberge egg. Thinking of her made everything in my life appear better.
It was getting more difficult to keep my hands to myself. I dreamt of touching her, kissing her and shagging from the first day we met. My loins had a bit of a tingle when I knew she was near. Being around her was maddening because I wanted to touch her so very badly.
Sunday was also the day I took my weekly drug test. I thought it was complete and total rubbish
