Jagger did exactly what he said. He made a toast. Drink from his champagne flute and handed his glass to me. Why was I even worried?
Chapter 28
KATRINA
Two weeks later Jagger hopped a private jet to see me. He could only be with me for a couple of days. Practicing for his upcoming tour was taking up almost all of his time. I went out to the store for dinner. I didn’t want to leave but Jagger wasn’t clingy or needy. He wanted me to go about my daily life. He told me he just liked being near me. I felt the same way about him.
While I was making dinner in the kitchen I heard him working on a song in the living room. His voice was pure magic. He played the guitar like he was born with it in his hands. The melody called to me. I couldn’t help myself. I left the kitchen and peeked around the corner to hear his harmonious voice. I could listen undetected because his eyes were closed when he was singing.
When we are together
I think it means forever
Nothing is better than you
Nothing else will ever do
When I look into your eyes
My whole heart just comes alive
No one gets me but you
No one loves me like you do
He strummed the guitar and I could see he was being carried away with the music. He suddenly opened his eyes and was staring right at me.
“Hey, love. Come here.” He waved me over with his hand.
“No, I don’t want to interrupt you.”
“No, never, come, sit.”
“Where?”
“On my lap, of course.” He carefully placed his guitar against the wall.
I walked into the room and sat across his lap. He wrapped his arms around me. In his arms was the safest place for me. I wanted this feeling to last for as long as possible.
“Babe.”
“Yes.” I ran my hands through his disheveled hair.
“We need to have a serious conversation.”
“Noooooo,” I whined. I loved living in our relaxed bubble.
“Yes, it’s time. I’ve joked about it before but now I want to have a serious conversation.”
“Okay, what are we seriously talking about?” I kissed the side of his head right near his temple. He moved his face so our lips could lock. “I love Jag kisses.”
“I need you to love Jag kisses and all my bloody ideas.”
“You have an idea?”
“Yes, a really grand idea.”
“Stop stalling. What? Tell me?” I pressured him to spill it.
“I want a baby with you.”
I stopped breathing because that wasn’t even close to a thought I had in my brain, not the right part or the left part, or the medulla oblongata. I would’ve leaped from his lap if he weren’t holding me so tight.
“Say something.” He ordered a response but I couldn’t speak.
“I don’t know what to say.” I could’ve kept that to myself. It didn’t convey anything at all. It left us right back to the baby question. Was it a question?
“Kat, I need you to say something.”
I pried his hands from my body and stood. I walked away, not far away but far enough that I didn’t have to smell his intoxicating scent.
“This is what I have to say.” I wanted to compose my words in a way that wouldn’t be offensive. “I don’t understand where this is coming from. I have two kids. My youngest is sixteen. You know how old I am?”
“How many times do I have to say that I don’t care about your age?”
“You should care. You’re twenty-one.”
“I’m not supposed to want my own family?”
His point was valid. I wanted him to have what he wanted in this life and the next but I just didn’t see how he could have that with me. “I thought we were having fun.”
“So you are using me for fun?”
“Of course not. You know how I feel about you. You know I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I’m an only child. I have no siblings. Both of my parents are dead. I have no family of my own. You are all I have.”
“I know you told me to stop saying this but— Jagger, I’m old.”
“I knew you would say that.” He stood and that just made matters worse. When I had to look up at him I felt like the twenty-one-year-old.
“I don’t think you’ve thought this through. I can understand why you would want this, but being a parent isn’t something that you can just toss in the air and hope you catch it.”
“I don’t understand that reference. But I’ve wanted this for quite a while. I didn’t say anything because I was afraid you’d fucking dump me. You told me you would never marry again. So frankly, I had to deal with that. I love you and marriage is off the table because your fucking ex-husband turned that option off for me. I love you. I’m in love with you. I want you to be the mother of my children.”
Children? He said baby, one baby. I’m not crazy I heard ‘A’ as in one. Now, this man is saying children. I looked over at him and realized that I was pacing. Why would he do this to me? Everything was going so great minus his rude bandmate and his creepy manager.
I went to speak but words didn’t come out. Finally, I had some. “Jagger, I wasn’t prepared for this.”
Jagger was judging me. “Are you breaking up with me because I want a baby?”
“Jagger, no I’m not breaking up with you. I just think you haven’t thought this through.”
“Don’t speak to me like I’m a child. I’ve been taking care of my entire family since I was five.”
“I’m not talking to you like anything. I would do anything for you. You know that.” I got a fuckin’ tattoo. “I don’t even think I could physically have a baby even if I wanted to. Doctors don’t even want you to have kids after thirty-five. I’m well past thirty-five. After thirty-five you’re considered high risk. I don’t even
