“He drank a lot. I don’t think he did anything else. After mum died he stopped working. I had loads of money so it was a financial burden. He drunk a lot so much that my aunt Linda took guardianship of me. I went back to work. It’s what I wanted to do. My mum was dead but she told me to never stop no matter what.”
“How did he do it? It could’ve been an accident.” I hoped it was an accident. I couldn’t imagine any parent voluntarily departed this life and leaving their only child behind.
“I was only thirteen. I remember a neighbor found him in his garage with the engine running. There was a burial. My aunt cleaned his things out of the old house.”
“Do you have anything that belonged to him?” I had my grannies old lace gloves. The ones she wore to church and I cherished them more than anything I’d ever bought out the store.
“I don’t. I have the guitar my mum got me for my tenth birthday. I don’t have anything that personally belonged to my mum or my dad. I wish I had something to could touch. I was too young to take something.”
“What happened to all your old family things? Your aunt has pictures maybe she has some items she saved for you. You should ask her.”
“I will. She cleaned out the old house. I hope she didn’t get rid of all my mum and dad’s things.”
“She didn’t.” Mandy’s little voice cut from across the room. My kids were old. I forgot how little kids where always listening to grown folks conversations.
We both looked out at Mandy.
“She didn’t what?” Jagger asked.
“My mum didn’t toss your mummy and daddy’s things.”
“Really? And how do you know that?”
“The things are all in the attic.”
Jagger’s eyes left to stare at me. He stood. “In the attic.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Where in the attic?”
“In the boxes that say Jagger’s mum and dad. I can read words. I’m seven years old.”
Jagger’s reached down and took my hand to help my stand. We both looked like we just found out where the hidden treasure was located at the end of the rainbow.
“Mandy, stay here. We’re going to be back. You stay put.”
“Are you going to go somewhere and kiss?”
“Exactly.”
Mandy giggled. We left her alone and went upstairs. He knew where the hatch was for the attic. We walked up the stairs and I had to say it was the cleanest attic I had ever seen. No spider webs, no dust just clean and organized. There were usual items like old furniture, a baby crib, two wooden rocking chairs, bins of toys that Mandy had out grown and cardboard boxes.
At the rear of he room were boxes that read Jagger’s Mum and Jagger’s Dad in bold black magic marker. Jagger grabbed the top box that had Jagger’s Dad on it. It didn’t seem heavy they way he lifted it and placed it in front of the closet rocking chair. The box was taped shut. He looked down at it.
“I’ll go get a knife from the kitchen.” I dashed out of the room before he could say anything. I went down to the living room and gave Mandy a look. I was making sure she was still playing with her dolls. I went to the kitchen and got a steak knife. I noticed where Linda kept them. I hurried back up to attic. Jagger was sitting in the chair with the box between his legs. He looked so delighted and that warmed me from the inside out.
I handed over the knife. He took it. “Thanks, love.”
I stood there and watched him dig into the tape with the blade.
Jagger hands rummaged through the open box.
“I had a talk with Winston. He apologized to me.”
“That’s good.”
“He said some things that made me think he wasn’t really into women.”
Jagger looked up at me smiling. “I can’t believe Winston came out to you.” He removed a fedora from the box and placed it unevenly on top of his head. He looked sexy in the hat. Looked like his dad had a little swag.
“I’m not sure I heard him correctly.”
“You did. He’s gay. He’s got his entire body in the closet with one foot out. Like six people know his preference. It’s his Achilles heel. He’s completely paranoid he’s going to be outted and he just comes out to you. Winston is a strange one.”
“I’m not going to say anything ever.”
“I know. He must really like you to tell you that.”
“Winston hates me.”
“Winston’s the vainest one in the lot. He likes you because you’re pretty. He’s obsessed with pretty ladies. You are a pretty lady.”
Jagger removed a cigarette lighter from the box and flicked it a few times. He dropped it back in the box and retrieved a white envelope. I went over to the window and looked out at the vast land.
“This is a letter. It’s in my dad’s hand. It’s addressed to me. I’ve never seen this. It has an old date on it. The date he took his own life. I know that date.”
I turned back to look at him. He had my full attention. I walked over to him.
“It has you name on it?”
“The envelope says, to my lad, Jagger Bowie Adkins, from your Dad. The date is the day my father killed himself.”
Was Jagger thinking what I was thinking?
“Kat, I think it’s a suicide letter.” He was.
“You think so?”
“The letter is open. But I never opened it. I’ve never seen this before.”
“Maybe it’s something else.”
“Like what?”
“A Will.”
“My father didn’t have any assets. I was the breadwinner in the family.”
“You were a kid. You don’t know what he had or left to you.”
Jagger removed the trifold pieces of paper from the envelope. He slowly unfolded the pages.
“This is not a will. It’s a suicide note.”
“Wait. Do you want to read it?” I could see it was a handwritten letter.
“Yes. My father was an alcoholic but I was thirteen when he killed
