Regaining the ship, he joined some of the men bathing in the sea, protected from drowning by a large net draped over the sides. The plunge into the ocean brought a few moment’s relief from the heat, that is, until he exerted himself to climb back aboard ship again. There he spotted Second Lieutenant Price looking excited, obviously the recipient of important news, and had to remind himself to say nothing until spoken to, until he and Price were off duty.
Gibson was not to be in suspense for long; he was summoned to Captain Columbine’s cabin to write out orders for the rest of the naval ships anchored at the garrison: the fleet was to join forces with the garrison soldiers, travel up the Gambia River and attack and wipe out the French settlement of St. Louis, one hundred miles upstream.
Soon, the ship’s cannons would be fired in earnest, and they would be fired upon, in their turn.
That night, Gibson wrote: every schoolboy of my acquaintance, not excluding myself, thrilled to tales of battles, of heroism and glory. As the good doctor said, ‘Every man thinks meanly of himself for not having been a soldier, or not having been at sea.’ But faced with the reality, would I rather think meanly of myself, or instead, face cannon, grapeshot, bayonets and cutlasses, before this week is out? Do my fellow ship mates feel the alarms, the regrets, the anxieties that I cannot reason myself out of? They, poor souls, are an exceedingly superstitious tribe, seeing omens in the clouds, or if a bird lights on the rigging, or even if someone absent-mindedly whistles while on board. They attribute their misfortunes, after the fact, to the indubitable sign that appeared prior to the catastrophe. While in my mechanical universe, it is largely a matter of chance whether or not I am mowed down by grapeshot or stop a musket ball or a bayonet blade. How fortunate for me that I have no choice in the matter, so I will never know what I might do to escape this trial!
I am also paying the penalty for the independence of my habits, and my neglect and indifference of family ties, for I find myself wondering—if I do fall, who would be there to mourn for and remember me? Oh indeed, I can count many people as friends and comrades, but is there anyone on this vast sphere for whom my death would occasion more than passing regret?
* * * * * *
June 25, 1809
To Lady Bertram:
Dear Maria:
One day I may find it in me to forgive Sir Thomas for sending our Sister to live among us, but that day is still a distant one! She is being her intolerable Self, that I remember from our Girlhood days. It tries my Nerves to the greatest degree that Elizabeth will always remark unkindly upon the most trifling matters, and must have Everything done to her satisfaction! Rebekah has given her Notice rather than bear with it and will leave us at Michaelmas—I was planning to Dismiss her myself at any rate, but it is still most Provoking to find oneself no longer Mistress of one’s own Household! ! My Husband goes abroad even more than usual, to seek some respite from our sister's carping Tongue.
She has not offered us so much as a farthing, by the way, but nonetheless finds fault with every meal laid before her. I told her plainly that if she wants better Beef and more Sugar, she must reach into her own Purse to procure it.
As disordered and harassed as I am, I must take some Pains to relate a most extraordinary Incident which occurred yesterday. Sir Thomas will, no doubt, read of it in the News Papers, and will be anxious on our behalf, so I assure you that we are all Alive and Well—that is, we still have our heads and limbs attached to our bodies, which is more than—
—but I am getting ahead of my Tale. Elizabeth and I, and my Boys, were walking along the foreshore on Point Beach yesterday morning, for she wished to go to the Post Office—but we first turned down to the beach because Tom and Charles clamoured to see the 8th Regiment, who were embarking for the Isle of Jersey.
The soldiers and their followers were all camped along the shore, in the greatest Disarray and Confusion. We were in the midst of this Throng, and I was determining that we had best come away, owing to the disreputable appearance of many of the Wives, Laundresses and what-have-yous following the Regiment, when our Sister spied a young Woman, great with child, with an older infant hanging in a sling on her back and leading yet two more young children by the hand (such a picture as I myself presented in the early days of my Marriage, alas! I feel immensely weary just recalling it!)
“What, Sarah! What brings you here!” Our Sister accosted her.
And the saucy wench answered her most Disrespectfully, saying that she herself, our Sister, was the Reason she found herself there. It appears that through some Indiscretion she had lost her Position with you and Sir Thomas, and she subsequently had fled to her Brother, a Corporal in the 8th, having No-where else to go, and through his Good Offices she had recently been taken under the Protection of one of his comrades, a newly-widowed Sergeant with three young Children.
Our Sister fell to haranguing the girl and abusing her for smoking Tobacco—for she had a
