Before she does get to that age, though, I’m definitely going to have to break him of that habit otherwise he’s going to raise a wretchedly spoiled little girl who can get her dad to do anything just by batting her eyes.
But I’m glad that I was right about Sawyer – he’s an absolutely amazing father. He has his doubts, his fears, and his insecurities – which is absolutely adorable – but he’s a natural. He’s an incredible dad, and the life we’re building together with our little family fills my heart with a sense of joy that’s unreal.
If there is one thing about how my life is unfolding that brings me a spot of sadness, it’s that my father is slowly losing his battle with Alzheimer’s. He’s still more than comfortable and happy at Rose Hills, and on his good days, he’s still as lucid and sharp as ever – and I’m glad he’s gotten to spend some time with his granddaughter before his disease robs him of everything. But I can see that he’s in decline, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.
“Hey, stop that.”
Sawyer’s voice snaps me back to the present. I look over at him with a smile on my lips.
“Stop what?” I ask.
“Tonight is about us and nothing but us,” he replies. “Sarah is in good hands. She’s totally fine.”
I arch an eyebrow at him. “Oh, is that why you called to check up on her when I was in the bathroom?”
“I did not,” he grins, knowing he’s busted.
When I was in the bathroom, I texted our nanny to check up on Sarah and found out that Sawyer had called not two minutes before. Sarah is fine, of course – it’s just funny we both tried to sneak in a check in without the other knowing. Sawyer pulls me to him and kisses me gently, then looks down into my eyes, still holding onto me.
“Okay, fine,” he grins. “We’ve both had our one moment of weakness. Now, let’s spend the rest of our evening focusing on nothing but us.”
I give him a warm smile. “I think I can do that.”
“Good.”
He takes my hand and leads me out onto the ice. With Christmas only a week away, it’s a cold night anyway, but being out on the skating rink somehow makes it feel even colder.
“I can’t believe you’ve lived in New York your whole life and you’ve never skated at Rockefeller Center,” he muses.
I grin as I look at the giant Rockefeller Center Christmas tree. I know it’s iconic, and people come from all over the world to see it, but I have absolutely zero connection to it. It’s gorgeous, but it means nothing to me, to be honest. I will say, though, being out here with Sawyer, with the snow falling gently around us, will probably make this place mean something to me. It’s been a wonderful night.
“That was always for you rich folk,” I laugh. “We poor folk didn’t get to enjoy the luxury of ice skating.”
“Well, it’s about time you checked this off your bucket list.”
I laugh. “Let me put it on first.”
Sawyer rolls his eyes. “Such a difficult woman.”
“Yeah, but you love that about me.”
“That’s true.”
Hand in hand, we skate slowly around the rink. My cheeks are ruddy, and the cold is biting but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t enjoying this. Hell, I’m enjoying my entire life in ways I never thought I could.
Haley and I are doing some amazing work and are helping the people in the city who need it the most. We’re providing opportunities for housing to those who need it, and in conjunction with Sawyer and Compass, are in the process of building more low-income housing.
Haley and I worked for the first six or seven months by ourselves, but our staff has expanded to a dozen. Although we hit a bump in the road now and then, we’re building momentum and have some ambitious things in the works. I know Sawyer was skeptical about this at first but we’re adding value to Compass, his side of the business is still booming, and we’re doing a lot of good for a lot of people. This couldn’t have gone off any better if I’d planned it.
I give my head a small shake and bring myself back to the here and now again. I feel a small flush of guilt. This is the first time Sawyer and I have been out together – alone – since Sarah was born. I need to be putting all of my focus on him and enjoying this night together.
I look around the rink and notice that aside from us, it’s empty. I look around and see people lined up around the side of the rink, but it’s just us on the ice. I turn to Sawyer and see that he’s smiling like a fool.
“Sawyer, what –”
I’m cut off by the sound of music starting to play – John Legend’s “All of Me”, to be exact.
“Forgive the cheesiness,” Sawyer laughs. “The music wasn’t my choice.”
I look around again and see everybody watching us expectantly – likely wondering why in the hell we’re on the ice alone. The lights all around us go out, plunging us into darkness – mostly.
“What the – what’s going on?” I ask.
But then a spotlight flares to life, landing on Sawyer and me.
I turn back to Sawyer, only to find him down on one knee in the middle of the ice. I gasp. My heart swells to the point of bursting in the blink of an eye.
The spotlight glints off the diamond ring in
